Last night I went home with a pair of DD boob implants I blagged outside the pub.

What unusual items have you gone home with (items not ugly women FFS) ?

Here they are on the bar, whilst I had a few more drinks

Were they not attached to a young lady?

Where...or more importantly whom did you aquire these from?..and could you get me a pair? I sense a joke birthday present coming on...

Pair of Dunhill gloves, seemingly brand new.

A Parker Knol (sp) easy chair from the skip outside the Bowls Club (...whilst at Uni for the record)

Where in the heck did you manage to pick those up from?

The one on the left looks cool, reminds me of something else i saw today -

about a year ago i used to get in and out of town on me pushbike, especially on nights out. I seemed to be pretty competent at riding while smashed - in fact i never came to any harm while doing it (clearly wasn't trying hard enough).
Anyway the route was along an A-road, which had a large wood alongside it at one point, known for deer. Riding in one friday night I noted a deer skeleton in the ditch next to the wood but thought nothing of it, other than "cool".

So of course there was a bit of surprise when I found my clothes in the morning, smelling so bad they had to be burnt.

and then my parents point me in the direction of my bike. Which had a deer skull perched on the front reflector.
I still have it in the garage actually

other things include random pairs of earrings, a dealer chip, some old french money (like a month ago). I tend to collect stuff and it gets worse if i'm drunk

Ok, I saw a mate waiting to be picked up by his wife, got chatting, she turned up, we had the 'hey, what you up to these days?' conversation. Turned out she's a sales rep for boob implants post PIP scandal.

I have a broken arm so suggested that some perfectly hand sized implants would be therapeutic and comforting for physio purposes when the pins are removed next week. She agreed, we tested various sizes for grip, and the rest is history

LSI - no bother, the H cups are fking ridiculous!

Housemate came home with a 9 foot optimus prime cardboard cutout you see at the cinema.
Our garden was full of road signs, and roadwork barriers traffic cones etc.
I never understood the student roadsign fetish, just happened.

Would be rude not to, so...just like that!

I may have walked into a flat in the 2nd year of uni to find a full size traffic light - wired in and working!