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13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Hi All,

Mr 13th is very much looking forward to giving his "little girl" away and thinks her choice of husband is brilliant and their baby boy a little star.

However he's madly run off his feet so despite his best intentions all will be left to the last min (wedding In two weeks!!!!) so I want to help him out with the speach but that's not really a step mothers place.

Nonetheless in the last panic I would like to be able to offer some assistance;

Previous proud fathers ideas please and I'll send you some wedding cake wink

Rude-boy

18,269 posts

116 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Son in Law is so much better than all those other men she would traipse in every night since her 14th. After the first couple of hundred I wondered if she would ever find a man to settle down with but am so glad that SinL has been able to fill the breach no other seemed to manage.

Should go down a storm.


13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Rude-boy said:
Son in Law is so much better than all those other men she would traipse in every night since her 14th. After the first couple of hundred I wondered if she would ever find a man to settle down with but am so glad that SinL has been able to fill the breach no other seemed to manage.

Should go down a storm.
Genuine Hahaha but no; despite all my influence she was a very good girl smile

dibbers006

6,374 posts

101 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Introduce child using childhood nickname.

Explain childhood nicknames origins.

Refer to teenage years fallacies, errors, mistakes, ill logic using humorous anecdotes.

Compare and contrast current life with spouse to be and inject comic ideology of future life together and how they will cope based on previous stories.

Hold glass.

Short but meaningful wish of happiness and deep founded love. Whilst engaging whistful gaze.

Cheers to couple.

Final remark of good will cut with underlying jovial snide at having more space in house, free time, money.

Further hurrah.

Fin.

13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Thank you Dibbers, it's certainly a start smile
Advertisement

McHaggis

13,417 posts

38 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Best one I heard recently was...

"Now you are expecting a long speech from the father of the bride. But I just want to say this... We are very happy to welcome David to the family. We are delighted for them both and wish them many years of happiness together. Now please raise your glasses...

13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
McHaggis,

again a great option I can offer him as we drive to the church!!!! wink

McHaggis

13,417 posts

38 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
13th said:
McHaggis,

again a great option I can offer him as we drive to the church!!!! wink
smile

The best weddings I have been to all had short speeches. Then lots of embarrassing stories as people chatted afterwards... they are also more relaxed!

TwigtheWonderkid

11,309 posts

33 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
"I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a bathroom!"

monthefish

17,644 posts

114 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
"I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a bathroom!"
I like that.

Silverbullet767

8,391 posts

89 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
speech

banghead

McHaggis

13,417 posts

38 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Or Rowan Atkinsons approach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8

Ladies and Gentleman and Friends of my daughter. There comes a
time in every wedding reception when the man who paid for the damn thing
is allowed to speak a word or two of his own. And I should like to take
this opportunity, schloshed as I may be, to say a word or two about Martin.

As far as I'm concerned. my daughter could not have chosen a more
delightful, charming, witty, responsible... wealthy? Let's not deny it....
well-placed, good-looking and fertile young man than Martin as her husband.
And I therefore ask the question... why the hell did she marry Gerald
instead?

Because Gerald is the sort of man we used to describe at school as a
complete prick. If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire
family may be likened to a compost heap... and I think they can...
then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think he is the
sort of man people emigrate to avoid.

I remember the first time I met Gerald. I said to my wife... she's the
lovely woman propping up that horrendous old lush of a mother of his...
either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum
cleaner has arrived. As for his family, they are quite simply the most
intolerable herd of steaming social animals I have ever had this misfortune
of turning my nose up to. I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog!

I would like to propose a toast.... to the caterers. And to the pigeon
who crapped on the groom's families limousine at the church. As for the
rest of you around this table not directly related to me, you can fk off!
I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat!

ikarl

1,479 posts

82 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
McHaggis said:
Or Rowan Atkinsons approach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8

Ladies and Gentleman and Friends of my daughter. There comes a
time in every wedding reception when the man who paid for the damn thing
is allowed to speak a word or two of his own. And I should like to take
this opportunity, schloshed as I may be, to say a word or two about Martin.

As far as I'm concerned. my daughter could not have chosen a more
delightful, charming, witty, responsible... wealthy? Let's not deny it....
well-placed, good-looking and fertile young man than Martin as her husband.
And I therefore ask the question... why the hell did she marry Gerald
instead?

Because Gerald is the sort of man we used to describe at school as a
complete prick. If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire
family may be likened to a compost heap... and I think they can...
then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think he is the
sort of man people emigrate to avoid.

I remember the first time I met Gerald. I said to my wife... she's the
lovely woman propping up that horrendous old lush of a mother of his...
either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum
cleaner has arrived. As for his family, they are quite simply the most
intolerable herd of steaming social animals I have ever had this misfortune
of turning my nose up to. I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog!

I would like to propose a toast.... to the caterers. And to the pigeon
who crapped on the groom's families limousine at the church. As for the
rest of you around this table not directly related to me, you can fk off!
I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat!
absolute brilliance!

13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Silverbullet767 said:
speech

banghead
I know Bad Susie; but stress doesn't touch my worries. frown

Ikemi

6,686 posts

88 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
I was best man at my mate's wedding a few weeks ago and I left my speech to the last minute too. In the end, I finished it on the weekend before and rehearsed it whilst driving to and from work. By the following weekend (and the wedding), I knew all of it off by heart.

I'd definitely get him to have a look at some examples on FotB/best man speech websites. I wouldn't copy any of the tired jokes, but it'll give an idea as to layout ... and you can steal some paragraphs for the generic stuff like 'raise your glasses' etc.

Just get him to say lots of nice stuff about his daughter, nice stuff about the SiL, how they met and any funny stories ...

If he's not nervous with regards to public speaking, he's half way there!

BigS

855 posts

56 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
I'm a man of few words. [long pause] Thank you

13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
McHaggis said:
Or Rowan Atkinsons approach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8

Ladies and Gentleman and Friends of my daughter. There comes a
time in every wedding reception when the man who paid for the damn thing
is allowed to speak a word or two of his own. And I should like to take
this opportunity, schloshed as I may be, to say a word or two about Martin.

As far as I'm concerned. my daughter could not have chosen a more
delightful, charming, witty, responsible... wealthy? Let's not deny it....
well-placed, good-looking and fertile young man than Martin as her husband.
And I therefore ask the question... why the hell did she marry Gerald
instead?

Because Gerald is the sort of man we used to describe at school as a
complete prick. If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire
family may be likened to a compost heap... and I think they can...
then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think he is the
sort of man people emigrate to avoid.

I remember the first time I met Gerald. I said to my wife... she's the
lovely woman propping up that horrendous old lush of a mother of his...
either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum
cleaner has arrived. As for his family, they are quite simply the most
intolerable herd of steaming social animals I have ever had this misfortune
of turning my nose up to. I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog!

I would like to propose a toast.... to the caterers. And to the pigeon
who crapped on the groom's families limousine at the church. As for the
rest of you around this table not directly related to me, you can fk off!
I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat!
I love my stepdaughter too much or I would slip Mr 13th that speach, and how long through considering nerves etc would he realise!!!? but I think I would be the only one laughing!!!
(also luckily she has chosen a fantastic husband, as luckily my stepson chose a wonderful wife; I'm a step grandmother of 4, brings a tear to my eye) Oh just weddings! spook me!

13th

Original Poster:

3,165 posts

96 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
BigS]I'm a man of few words. [long pause said:
Thank you
Oh that is funny!!!!, thank YOU!

zb

677 posts

47 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
13th said:
Hi All,

Mr 13th is very much looking forward to giving his "little girl" away and thinks her choice of husband is brilliant and their baby boy a little star.

However he's madly run off his feet so despite his best intentions all will be left to the last min (wedding In two weeks!!!!) so I want to help him out with the speach but that's not really a step mothers place.

Nonetheless in the last panic I would like to be able to offer some assistance;

Previous proud fathers ideas please and I'll send you some wedding cake wink
He should include the phrase "thank God for Google" somewhere near the start of the speech (I doubt many guests would get "thank God for PH"). A funny but harmless anecdote about his daughter, something childhood innocent would be ideal, and a little bit of praise for his future son in law, that he's well read or something. All in all get him to keep it short, some Father of the bride speeches I've endured heard had a tendency to ramble on unnecessarily.

Jonboy_t

3,055 posts

66 months

[news] 
Friday 13th July 2012 quote quote all
Now, if I could just say a few words:

I would be a much better public speaker. Good night.
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