Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
^^^^ Brave chap! 
^^^^
An elderly couple were visiting their son and his family overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked the old man.
"£10. a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found £110 under the pillow.
He rang his father and said, "I told you each pill was £10, not £110."
"I know," said the old man. "The hundred is from your mother!!!
^^^^An elderly couple were visiting their son and his family overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked the old man.
"£10. a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found £110 under the pillow.
He rang his father and said, "I told you each pill was £10, not £110."
"I know," said the old man. "The hundred is from your mother!!!
Family Dinner Party
My wife hosted a dinner party for both sides of our entire family and
everyone was encouraged to bring all their children as well.
During dinner, my four-year-old niece stared at me sitting across from
her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. I checked my shirt for
spots, felt my face for food, patted my hair in place but nothing stopped
her from staring at me.
I tried my best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for me. I
finally asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet
waiting for her response.
My little niece said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a
fish."
My wife hosted a dinner party for both sides of our entire family and
everyone was encouraged to bring all their children as well.
During dinner, my four-year-old niece stared at me sitting across from
her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. I checked my shirt for
spots, felt my face for food, patted my hair in place but nothing stopped
her from staring at me.
I tried my best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for me. I
finally asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet
waiting for her response.
My little niece said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a
fish."
Another golden oldie. Well perhaps just old.
A Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says, "Congratulations, your wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, they’re all black."
A Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says, "Congratulations, your wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, they’re all black."
Laurel Green said:
Another golden oldie. Well perhaps just old.
A Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says, "Congratulations, your wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, they’re all black."
Not heard that one - A Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says, "Congratulations, your wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, they’re all black."
A woman wanted to pretend to her lover that she was a virgin.
She pulled her garter and let it snap back as he entered her.
"What on earth was that?" asked her lover.
"I told you that I was a virgin. It must have been my maidenhead breaking."
"Well, whatever it was it's got my left b
k trapped against your leg!"
She pulled her garter and let it snap back as he entered her.
"What on earth was that?" asked her lover.
"I told you that I was a virgin. It must have been my maidenhead breaking."
"Well, whatever it was it's got my left b
k trapped against your leg!" Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff