Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
McAndy said:
MartG said:
Too soon ?
Blaine: 44 days (not buried in a box).Blaine: 6 days (buried in a box).
Daniels: 27 days (buried in a box).
Daniels: 10,211 days (buried - Debbie McGee's box.)
So depending on your inputs, either:
- Yes, by 17 days;
- No, Blaine is an amateur by a factor of 0.0043.
Paul's only wishes were to be cremated and he wanted to have the cheery song 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' and 'Mr Bojangles' played because he thought people should sing when they are upset.
Of the song choices, she said: "He always told people to sing that when they were sad."
Paul also said he wanted to be cremated as he'd told Debbie the thought of being "buried alive" frightened him.
She added: "He was so claustrophobic, the idea of being buried alive terrified him."
Debbie has revealed there will be a private ceremony for close family and friends and a public memorial with a date yet to be confirmed.
https://www.list.co.uk/article/79400-paul-daniels-...
A993LAD said:
I think I have to call you out if this story is correct, as it seems PD is neither buried or in a box..........
Paul's only wishes were to be cremated and he wanted to have the cheery song 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' and 'Mr Bojangles' played because he thought people should sing when they are upset.
Of the song choices, she said: "He always told people to sing that when they were sad."
Paul also said he wanted to be cremated as he'd told Debbie the thought of being "buried alive" frightened him.
She added: "He was so claustrophobic, the idea of being buried alive terrified him."
Debbie has revealed there will be a private ceremony for close family and friends and a public memorial with a date yet to be confirmed.
https://www.list.co.uk/article/79400-paul-daniels-...
I think it more likely that he was sPaul's only wishes were to be cremated and he wanted to have the cheery song 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' and 'Mr Bojangles' played because he thought people should sing when they are upset.
Of the song choices, she said: "He always told people to sing that when they were sad."
Paul also said he wanted to be cremated as he'd told Debbie the thought of being "buried alive" frightened him.
She added: "He was so claustrophobic, the idea of being buried alive terrified him."
Debbie has revealed there will be a private ceremony for close family and friends and a public memorial with a date yet to be confirmed.
https://www.list.co.uk/article/79400-paul-daniels-...
t scared some fker would come along and saw his box in half. 
Some time ago, out on the golf course, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
Elizabeth, a very attractive young woman who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK? What's your name?"
"Name's John, and yes, I'm OK. Thanks", I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted wreckage.
"John", she said (firm, loose breasts shifting enticingly beneath her white, silky robe), "forget your troubles for a while. Come up into my villa and relax with me and I'll help you get the cart straightened out later after you've recovered."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it very much."
"Oh, come on now", Elizabeth insisted.
She was so very pretty, sexy and persuasive... I was weak. "Well, okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "My wife won't like it."
After a couple of restorative Martinis, I thanked Elizabeth and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."
"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly, "She doesn't need to know a thing. By the way, where is she?"
"Still under the cart, I imagine", I said.
Elizabeth, a very attractive young woman who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK? What's your name?"
"Name's John, and yes, I'm OK. Thanks", I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted wreckage.
"John", she said (firm, loose breasts shifting enticingly beneath her white, silky robe), "forget your troubles for a while. Come up into my villa and relax with me and I'll help you get the cart straightened out later after you've recovered."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it very much."
"Oh, come on now", Elizabeth insisted.
She was so very pretty, sexy and persuasive... I was weak. "Well, okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "My wife won't like it."
After a couple of restorative Martinis, I thanked Elizabeth and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."
"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly, "She doesn't need to know a thing. By the way, where is she?"
"Still under the cart, I imagine", I said.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff