Thursday 3rd March 2016

Geneva to Rotterdam, via the M4: PH Blog

It takes nine hours to drive from Geneva to the ferry home; Dan had eight 

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I was ready on the BMW stand at Geneva in good time, late mission accepted to drive a new M4Competition Pack back from the show to the UK. I had a cash float for fuel and tolls. All I was missing was my car. A couple of hours passed. I looked nervously at the interesting route I'd planned via German Autobahn, the 2100h ferry departure from Rotterdam and the narrowing time contingency should I hit traffic.

Yes, they're not the correct wheels...

No criticism of the colleagues I was taking the car over from; Geneva traffic can be a nightmare but finally the call came, an improvised handover outside the airport was arranged and I was off through the accessories hall to meet the car. Though we'd timed the rendezvous to perfection the Swiss police were already on the scene and it was a case of hurried exchange of pleasantries and a rolling start while still removing coat and plugging in essentials like phone, nav and - oh yes - seatbelt. 

Direct route arrival time? 1952h. Ferry loading time? Not specified but probably about the same. This was going to be close. 

Dreams of a chilled drive evaporating I simply pointed the car north into the Jura up what looked like a promisingly squiggly piece of road. In the rushed handover I'd clocked the car didn't have the trademark Competition Pack 20s, instead wearing some plain five-spokes and winter tyres. In white it looked more like a 420d but, given the fussy styling of the new wheels, perhaps the better for it. They better suited the conditions too, the comedy value of getting tyre squeal on standing water and (mainly) comedy low-speed under-into-oversteer around the hairpins an entertaining get-to-know-you with the car. Saying that with 12,000 miles in a regular M4 it wasn't taking long. 

... but winter tyres help in weather like this!

Emerging in Poligny - home of Comte, cheese fans! - I was on familiar ground again, hitting the peage towards Dijon. Having scaled back my Autobahn ambitions my main goal was to avoid Brussels. So I planned in a diversion via Luxembourg and the quiet squirt north that bypasses Prum (where, from the other direction, I turn off for the 'ring), crosses the Belgian border and then skirts Spa. Before that I was able to finally stretch the BMW's legs a little, the novelty of legally cruising at 120mph-plus only offset by the plunging fuel needle and worries about whether I'd have time for a splash and dash. Sod it. Having noted the 149mph speed restriction for the winter tyres I conducted a scientific test and established the 155mph limiter on the Competition Pack car is ... relaxed. A teasing taste of what I'd missed out on with my long-termer back in the UK. That being a prison sentence, mainly. 

After snow in France and sunshine in Germany the predictable happened as soon as I hit Belgium, weather and driving standards taking a dramatic turn for the worse. At least it's dependable, the woeful lack of drainage on Belgian motorways making line markings invisible and the spray reducing visibility to about five metres. Or at least double the distance your average Belgian driver leaves. Before making an erratic lane change for no apparent reason. And then indicating his intentions afterwards. 

More on just what a Competition Pack is like soon

Three tanks of fuel, a past-its-sell-by tuna baton and a huge bag of cheesy bugle crisps later, I arrived at Rotterdam's Europort bang on the predicted time after passing the astounding Blade Runner-esque landscape on the final approach. "You hit some traffic or something?" smirked the Dutch customs official, tempted out of his hut long after he thought he'd checked his last passport for the Hull crossing that evening. A Stella on a ferry never tasted so good... 

And the car? More on this shortly. But for all the stress a 1,000km, to-the-wire dash across Europe in a fast car most definitely still has the capacity to thrill. Next time I'll definitely avoid Belgium though. 

Dan 

Follow the route here.

[tosh.brice]

Something wrong with the link - it sends an email instead of opening a map
Edit - thanks for fixing!

Edited by tosh.brice on Friday 4th March 09:50

[Turbobanana]

Article says, "...the woeful lack of drainage on Belgian motorways making line markings invisible and the spray reducing visibility to about five metres. Or at least double the distance your average Belgian driver leaves. Before making an erratic lane change for no apparent reason. And then indicating his intentions afterwards. "

Are you sure you were in Belgium? This sounds like the UK.

[jamespink]

Ah, Poligny fabulous cheese shop and historic stop on the Monte Carlo Classic... Fond memories :-)

[Nik Attard]

tosh.brice said:

something wrong with the link - it sends an email instead of opening a map

Link is all fixed... was a mailto link.

Nik

[Modificata]

Back in September drove from Monaco to London in one day in my Ferrari 456M. Epic journey stopping for fuel and driver stops only.

Included a stop at the Calais Jungle which created a buzz.

Great way to cross the Continent. Car has sadly gone but is well replaced with 2 cars.

[unsprung]

Smart looking car. And commentary on cheeses appreciated.

I happen to like those wheels. The wintery rubber was a good thing, as well.

[ghibbett]

Turbobanana said:

Article says, "...the woeful lack of drainage on Belgian motorways making line markings invisible and the spray reducing visibility to about five metres. Or at least double the distance your average Belgian driver leaves. Before making an erratic lane change for no apparent reason. And then indicating his intentions afterwards. "

Are you sure you were in Belgium? This sounds like the UK.

No this sounds just like Belgium. Amazingly, the standard is significantly worse than the UK's!!!

[paulyv]

What are the speed limits around there? I can't seem to recall any area which allows 120mph plus, and would love to stand corrected by those with more experience.

Thanks

Pauly

[paulyv]

paulyv said:

What are the speed limits around there? I can't seem to recall any area which allows 120mph plus, and would love to stand corrected by those with more experience.

Thanks

Pauly

Ah, I can correct myself - the route just snuck into Germany.

[andybu]

Dan, good article on the journey, and the BMW M4. I'm slightly puzzled as to why you would not take the Swiss A1 auto-route up to Basel and then get on to the German autobahn network there. Then A5/E35 north past Strasbourg and bobs' your uncle... I used this route (thence to Calais) a couple of years' ago and managed quite a lot of the autobahn sections at 100 mph plus.


France has speed cameras on their auto-route network now and the time when you could cross France at a 120mph cruise is surely gone. Wouldn't using more of Germany have worked out quicker?

Just curious

Andy Burrows

[Barchettaman]

Andy, I can think of at least three reasons-

Bern is a horrible snarl up, and most of the motorway between Bern and the Basel turn off is 100kmh with cameras I think
Basel gets super busy at the border
There are awful roadworks just north of Karlsruhe at Bruchsal

Going back to the article, I'm surprised the author shunned Bruxelles but then went for Antwerp, the ring motorway of which is just the most awful place to be in rush hour. I know, I was stuck there for 90 mins last week


::EDIT:: The roadworks on the A5 at Bruchsal have apparently finished, as of end 2015, at least until June 2016 when it all starts up again on the southbound side. Apologies for any confusion.

Edited by Barchettaman on Friday 4th March 08:15

[Dan Trent]

Top tips gents, I love a bit of route geekery!

And you're right about the Antwerpen Ring - I once got 'stuck' on it trying to find my exit and ended up doing two laps of the thing. Couldn't get off it! Nightmare! It is, at least, better than Brussels. Or less bad.

And I had all sorts of plots hatched to give me 'more' Germany but with every minute ticking by waiting for the car I was having to amend them and by the time I actually got the keys it was bin The Plan, point car north and make it up as I go along. Credit to the iDrive control and BMW's nav - it's very easy to do this and make it up as you go along but I guess I know my way around it after the long-term spell with the M4. And, to be fair, the Jura section was fun, going via Poligny is my usual way to that region, though I usually come in via Metabief.

Best laid plans and all that. But I didn't skid off into a snow drift, scored some Autobahn time, managed not to get crashed into by any Belgians and (just) made my ferry. Hopefully I'll get more time to plan a proper route next time but the pointers are noted and welcome!

Cheers,

Dan

[BlimeyCharlie]

Another "we've not got time to make it" stories, done to death on TopGere...
Though there is enough time to pose the car, clean it (I guess) several times, in several locations for photos?

Bit like "Jeremy makes a detour through some woods, where there happens to be a camera crew to film his blokey exploits"

Coming any minute to Pistonheads...the formulaic Shed Of The Week, with 'comedy' preamble...

[generationx]

ghibbett said:

No this sounds just like Belgium. Amazingly, the standard is significantly worse than the UK's!!!

^^^^ Completely this.

[pppppppppppppppp]

For those who are interested in de-restricted sections of Autobahn (one or two I suspect) there's a map at http://www.autobahnatlas-online.de/index_e.html - click maps then scroll down. It's full of road geekery, that site.

Direct link - http://www.autobahnatlas-online.de/Limitkarte.pdf
De-restricted sections are blue, but there's a full key at http://www.autobahnatlas-online.de/LegendeLimit_e....

It's very out-of-date though; it would be nice to look at google street view to confirm limits but most of Germany's not covered.

[Dan Trent]

BlimeyCharlie said:

Another "we've not got time to make it" stories, done to death on TopGere...
Though there is enough time to pose the car, clean it (I guess) several times, in several locations for photos?

Bit like "Jeremy makes a detour through some woods, where there happens to be a camera crew to film his blokey exploits"

Coming any minute to Pistonheads...the formulaic Shed Of The Week, with 'comedy' preamble...

Yup, I even had fluffers to entertain me while all this photography and car cleaning was going on, several lavish lunch stops and a time machine to magic some extra hours out of the day while we were at it.

Actually, I'll take it as a compliment you think these snatched shots were properly posed, organised and the car cleaned and prepped for them. Rather than just screeching to a halt at the side of the road, leaving the engine running, grabbing camera from passenger seat and getting rolling again before the cars I'd just battled past crashed into the back of the stationary BMW in the middle of the road!

Shed coming up shortly too...

Dan

[don logan]

I've done this journey a couple of dozen times and can't understand why you didn't just head Geneva - Dijon - Troyes - Reims - Calais?

I can usually do the Frejus Tunnel to Calais in 9hrs in a V10 Toerag without risking losing my licence!

What is it with Belgian drivers and last minute lane changes? It happens SO often that it's not a generalisation!

[Dan Trent]

don logan said:

I've done this journey a couple of dozen times and can't understand why you didn't just head Geneva - Dijon - Troyes - Reims - Calais?

Cos I was going to Rotterdam this time! Otherwise, yes!

Dan

[don logan]

Dan Trent said:

don logan said:

I've done this journey a couple of dozen times and can't understand why you didn't just head Geneva - Dijon - Troyes - Reims - Calais?

Cos I was going to Rotterdam this time! Otherwise, yes!

Dan

Imagine how much MORE exciting it would have been if you were getting a ferry from somewhere even further away! :-)

[Dan Trent]

On this performance, what with all that stopping for slap-up lunches and exotic photoshoots, I'd have missed it and still be stuck there!

Dan