Shed of the Week: Mercedes E220 estate

A proper Shed but one advertised with humour and honesty - are you up for it?

Normally, the phrase "here's the ad" comes at the end of the SOTW story, not the beginning.

Today is an exception. Today we're recommending that you read the ad first, because it tells you everything you need to know, not just about the car but also about the vendor - which, in the opinion of Shed and possibly that of quite a few other PHers, is at least as important. Maybe even more important when dipping one's toe into the potentially murky waters of older German metal.

The Shed itself is unremarkable. And that's being kind. The bodywork is visibly rusty in lots of fun and interesting places (so just think what it will be like in the places you can't see) and the self-levelling suspension has self-levelled itself into a single locked position. To be honest, it really is a shed.

But the great thing is that the owner has taken that often-abused phrase 'to be honest' completely literally. He's not just failed to hide the car's many issues, he's shone an industrial searchlight on them.

You may think that "bubbling on the nearside rear window frame" is perhaps an underdescription of several areas that look like they wouldn't stand the weight of a well-honed sparrow landing on them, but in fairness the seller does compensate us for that by accidentally underselling at least one other aspect of the car. That 'MB-Tex' seating looks suspiciously like leather to us. Mind you, in the world of utilitarian Mercs, MB-Tex is often more sought after than leather, so make your own call on that.

Everyone knows that the modern camera, contrary to folklore, does lie. By bringing the full arsenal of filters and enhancers into play, even Mrs Shed can be made to look slightly less like something that crawled out from behind the smelliest section of the council tip after an all-night cider-swilling session. So don't go thinking that the interior looks sort of OK in these pics. It won't be. Even after a quick vac, the boot looks like Mrs Shed may have enjoyed a quick post-bevvy kip (or something much worse) in there. The mats have that apologetic curliness that only comes from two decades' worth of noxious substances having been dumped on them. Clever.

On the plus side, the oxidisation has been left on the alloys so you can see that they haven't been kerbed, and the owner is kindly providing a new pair of wings for you to nailgun into place. Once that's done you will be the proud owner of a quite low mileage example of a Mercedes wagon from the golden W124 age, and one that has plenty more tip runs left in it. Even in one as frilly as this, you will experience the sort of solidity that you'd usually only expect to find in a Swiss safety deposit room, rather than in something that moves up the road quite slowly but with a relentless sense of purpose.

Sometimes in life, you need to reappraise what's important. Sometimes, the car is incidental. Sometimes you just want to meet the owner.

There is no way, having read this ad, that you could be disappointed by a viewing. The only thing you might be is pleasantly surprised.

Here is that ad, again.

What can I say about the W124 series that hasn't been said before, well lots as it happens...
The question mark was invented when competing engineers attempted to measure the quality of early W124s.
A W124 driver once took a wrong turn ending up in contraflow to a "bull run" event, the bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mother home... in a W124.
I could go on but due to loud tutting and calls of "have you put that feckin ad up yet" I need to get a move on.
So the facts:
It's got 135(ish)k on the clock, but will creep up (not a reflection of the speed driven, these E220s are surprisingly sprightly).
It's got cold weather tyres fitted; this will ensure it never snows (based on the last three years fitment).
Alloys are in a pretty tatty state, but no discernible kerbing marks.
Not as reliable as they're made out to be (I've fitted 2 brake bulbs and one rear indicator bulb during my ownership, humph).
Will carry anything, as long as it fits in or on the car.
Oddly it's fitted with an electric drivers perch - with 2 position memory function.
MB Tex.
Occasional central locking.
Soft close tailgate still works as does the electric aerial (most of the time) but the radio is terrible and seems intent on only picking up rubbish commercial radio and not Radio 2! So to remedy this I stuck a cassette I found in the last house move in there. Unfortunately by stuck I mean stuck; so now the next owner has 4 choices when it comes to ICE: commercial radio, nothing, a twenty year old home recording of "A night at the opera" & "Sheer Heart Attack", with a few tape fillers thrown in or final option replace the head unit.
The spheres decided not to work during the last custodian's tenure, so the rear is currently locked in a sort of quasi-sports setting; hard and level.
Rust watch: both front wings are past their best, but I've got 2 new pattern replacements, which will be included.
Some bubbling on the nearside rear window frame, some minor rust around the rear windscreen; but for all this added frilly-ness it's still watertight.
Mechanically; well it's a 20 year old W124 without history, all I can say is that for the time we've owned Arkwright, (based on the reg and my wife's initial accusation that he was awkward to park, but the instances of touch parking have pretty much disappeared) he's been completely reliable and has carried out house moves for us and others, multiple tip runs (of course!), boot sales, weekends away and responses to "can I have a loan of the merc to collect some bodies/ turf/ set pieces for an am-dram production of Fawlty Towers" with aplomb and an odd serenity only encountered when you captain a barge of this generation.
Due to heightened levels of tutting, in conclusion:
Good:
Mechanically sound (to date)
More comfortable than pretty much anything
Free Queen tape
Cleans up well
Windscreen in good condition, no delamination
Sauntered (didn't quite skip) through last few MOTs
A pair of new pattern wings included
Bad:
A bit rusty
There is an oil leak from somewhere around the engine; but as I haven't cleaned the engine bay it looks worse than it probably is due to amount of dirt collecting.
Free Queen tape
Carpet in the boot has been attacked with something making the pile fall out (could have been some god awful cocktail my wife or one of her friends spilled on one of their Leigh-on-Sea lost weekends)
Of course, the air-con doesn't work

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r.g.

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213 months