Theresa May - the facts

Author
Discussion

EnglishTony

Original Poster:

2,552 posts

114 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
Theresa is James May's twin sister.

She uses a time machine to go back to the 70s to have her hair done.

She is very interested in breeding dalmatians.

She doesn't allow her husband to keep rotting garlic in her underwear in direct contravention of EU regs.

She has a personalised coven.

She likes to see her picture in the papers.

She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10.

She owns a talking mirror.

She can send an entire kingdom to sleep for 100 years.

She cut the heads of her Barbies for being disloyal and plans to do this to Cabinet colleagues with questionable loyalty.

She is looking forward to sharing her recipe for broccoli flan with the Queen.

It will be mandatory to follow her on twitter.

She is mortally afraid of pantomime.

She took up politics after her plans to present Blue Peter were thwarted.

She doesn't have a collection of 18th Century torture instruments.They are from the 17th Century.

She believes everything she reads on the internet as long as it agrees with her views.

Miss Piggy is her childhood heroine.




Add more.







quotemehappy

307 posts

202 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
There is going to be an extra bank holiday in May called May Day.

MDMA .

9,551 posts

116 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
quotemehappy said:
There is going to be an extra bank holiday in May called May Day.
is the current May Day bank holiday not named after her already ?

Ekona

1,681 posts

217 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
MDMA . said:
quotemehappy said:
There is going to be an extra bank holiday in May called May Day.
is the current May Day bank holiday not named after her already ?
Don't be silly, that's named after James.

schmunk

4,399 posts

140 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
Ha ha ha! It's funny because...

sleep

RizzoTheRat

26,815 posts

207 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
There's no chin underneath Theresa Mays beard, just another fist.


Am I doing this right?

darker grapefruit

360 posts

115 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
(this really is true):-

Her maiden name is Brasier, which is "...a metal receptacle for holding live coals or other fuel".

PH5121

2,001 posts

228 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
She was a glamour model in the 1980's

EnglishTony

Original Poster:

2,552 posts

114 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
She has love and hate tattooed on her knuckles in invisible ink.

Her weasels are better than your weasels.

Her belly button was, until recently, an inny but is now an outty.






Mr GrimNasty

8,172 posts

185 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
PH5121 said:
She was a glamour model in the 1980's
70s more like.

e8_pack

1,384 posts

196 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
She makes her husband wear a burka

Wears a strap on in the toilet

She had an affair with Monica Lewinsky

She was an extra in monster club and didn't wear makeup

There are no pictures of her under 40 years of age

She posted in forums under the name of John Titor

jonesof63

947 posts

152 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
She has webbed feet.

She was born a male and was originally called Terence.

She has hairy shoulders.

She once consulted a Witch Doctor over the hard skin on her elbows.

She's a qualified Aston Martin technician and machines unobtainable transmission parts in her spare bedroom.

Edited by jonesof63 on Monday 11th July 13:54

Johnnytheboy

24,499 posts

201 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
Mr GrimNasty said:
PH5121 said:
She was a glamour model in the 1980's
70s more like.
Do not google 'Teresa May (no h)', who was a glamour model in the 90s, they tell me.

jonesof63

947 posts

152 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
MDMA . said:
is the current May Day bank holiday not named after her already ?
It May be........

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

247 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
EnglishTony said:
Add more.
No, I don't think so.

jonesof63

947 posts

152 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
She knits her own underwear.

She speaks fluent Latin but a only during sex.

She has a Police Caution against her name for Fly-Tipping.

Johnnytheboy

24,499 posts

201 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
Her toenail clippings are considered legal tender in Burkina Faso.

MDMA .

9,551 posts

116 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
jonesof63 said:
She's a qualified Aston Martin technician and machines unobtainable transmission parts in her spare bedroom.

Edited by jonesof63 on Monday 11th July 13:54
from unobtanium apparently.

jonesof63

947 posts

152 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
MDMA . said:
from unobtanium apparently.
Indeed, they say she charges £30 an hour to party members, £40 to anybody else.

Eric Mc

123,860 posts

280 months

Monday 11th July 2016
quotequote all
Ekona said:
Don't be silly, that's named after James.
I thought it was called after Brian!