My First Car: Austin Metro
PHer 'Stockhatcher' (aka Wiliam Hornsey) realised he didn't need a Metro 6R4 when he had a 1.0-litre...
Let me take you back to 1991. Color Me Badd were riding high in the charts with ‘I Wanna Sex You Up’, Jesus Jones was ‘Right Here, Right Now’, Wilson Phillips were ‘Impulsive’, there were also ‘Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and I was a spotty A-level student with a penchant for pleated jeans, roll neck jumpers and desert boots.
I have always been into cars, and always wanted to be a rally driver, but my parent’s expectations for me tended to centre on academic attainment and not handbrake turns. Nevertheless, my first job stacking shelves in a supermarket allowed me to save up enough money (with a contribution from the Bank of Dad) to purchase my first car.
My dad being the sensible parent that he is, decided to take a trip to ‘that there Leeds’ where there were, he was sure, to be some bargains. So off he went… to the Ford main dealer. As it happens my brother also required a car to start his new job so my dad left the dealership having bought a Peugeot 205 XE for him and a ‘hearing aid beige’ Austin Metro City X one litre for me. 44 of Britain’s finest ponies lined up to be tickled into work by my right foot...
This car had it all, keep fit steering, four gears, rust, cold start problems and a stereo fitted by the men in black and orange. My boomtastic 60 watt speakers had been incorrectly fitted in the doors, so that the windows could not be wound down properly….. But that didn’t matter because the only music I needed would be coming from the 1000cc nestled up front…
Whilst most of my contemporaries used their free time to study macro economic theory, differentiation around the origin, or peaty gleyed podzols (eh? – Ed), I spent my free time reading car magazines and taking driving lessons - all the time, any time. Before school, after school, in my lunch hour, during my free periods. Getting behind the wheel was all I wanted to do.
The joy your first car brings you is down to the new found independence you now have - no more school buses, so many more friends, I was so popular. But for me it was the chance to try and emulate my hero Tony Pond. whose biggest success came in a Metro after all. Having found a nice gravel car park which was only a slight detour from my route home from school, I was able to practice my handbrake turns with ease.
‘Second gear, 10 mph, lift off, turn the wheel, and tug the lever, power, power!’ Feel the car glide round on a six-pence - perfect, or so I thought. However my sister, whom I had to give a lift home to, was less than impressed. And now onto left foot braking. I’d seen videos of Timo Makinen changing gear ‘without clutch’, and it was the same A series engine/gearbox – right?
So off I went in pursuit of perfecting the technique, - which ended on my first go, after spinning the car into someone’s front lawn, putting two big brown tyre tracks across the grass and stopping about a foot from the front door. Showing cool presence of mind, I calmly (it seemed) selected first gear and drove off in the opposite direction. I haven’t been back down that road since.
Of course during the year my friends gained their driving licences as well, and fellow PHer Soxboy was the first to challenge me to a race. His steed would be a 1.0-litre Talbot Samba LE, a fairly even match to my Metro, 45hp to my 44, and about the same weight. So one late afternoon after school we went out into the countryside and chose a quiet road to time ourselves against – rally style.
Soxboy went first, his interesting use of the brake would later be put down to old brake fluid, but unperturbed he did the ‘stage’ in 4m46s. A hefty challenge that I only just managed to eclipse - by a mere 55 seconds. I now race he doesn’t. Aaah to be 17 again!
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Nevetheless, am grateful for all those lifts to the pub in that beige blob. Set me on the path towards the svelte figure I now possess.
It saw me to and from university 250 miles away for a year but I dont think the poor thing appreciated 2 up, completely rammed full of stuff in the back 92 mph indicated (after youd got through the shake barrier at 80) motoring.
I moved on to greater things (a 309), and it went to a builder who promptly left it parked illegally in kensington. The last I heard of it was after a year of wrangling the DVLA had finally conceeded it was not mine.
What a wicked little car though! And I remember I used to give 4 mates a lift to school in it. We weren't small lads, and the car was about an inch off the ground with us all in there!
Another memory is in very heavy rain once. I was making a 10 mile trip to go and pick up my cousin, and hit some standing water at about 50mph... This standing water happened to be a foot deep, and caused a wave of water to pour over the bonnet and through the bonnet vents (which were a factory feature don't you know?!?). After that it was firing on 2 cylinders, and just about managed to limp the rest of the way there!
Brilliant times, and whilst the car was undeniably sh*t, it was the most amazing thing in the world to me at the time! :-)
Bought it as I needed something cheap quickly. £200. Stuck a years test on it, ran it for a year in the end and sold it for £300!!
Fantastic wee car, handled like a roller skate and was a lot quicker than it should have been.
Hydro-lastic suspension leaked like mad but was more comfortable than a lot of bigger cars.
I would buy one again if I needed a runabout, no hesitation. (pref the GTi though!)
It has 2 x 12" subs in the back that when you turned up the stereo, the lights went dim.
The best day was when it snowed, I ended up turning the local common land in to a rally track by accident! Very funny never the less.
Nevetheless, am grateful for all those lifts to the pub in that beige blob. Set me on the path towards the svelte figure I now possess.
It did have a habit of stopping for no apparent reason tho'. Then It would restart. Finally figured it out when it conked out on me in deepest Wales 200 miles from home on a day trip. Looked in the engine and there was a small electrical lead which had come loose. Popped it back on and it never let me down again.
Finally sold it to a man of the cloth in Halifax who phoned me the next day to say the clutch had gone. Felt so guilty I agreed to pay for half of the repair cost
ps i almost forgot to say but good article i enjoyed reading it and it struck a cord with me.
1981 1.0 HLE (the high compression engine giving fractionally more horse power than the standard 1.0!)
'Vermillion' red (ie orange)
MG interior
Hella spotlight grille
KN alloys
K&N air filter
Mixture turned up a bit
Timing advanced to just shy of pinking (I'd been reading Dave Vizard's "Tuning BL's A series book" )
When I got it home I notice it had had a respray down both sides, but not on the roof. And the driver's seat was broken (hence I put the MG interior in). But I still loved it because it had a rev counter!
I've still got an unsuppressable urge to find a mint MG or a late 80's GTa.
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