RE: Driven: Alfa Romeo Spider 1750 TBi

RE: Driven: Alfa Romeo Spider 1750 TBi

Tuesday 11th January 2011

Driven: Alfa Romeo Spider 1750 TBi

An attractive Italian joins the Open Season fun. Is it more than just a pretty face?



One of the first things they teach you in how-to-be-a-motoring-journalist school is that car styling is a deeply subjective matter - that one person's Fern Cotton is another man's Lisa Riley. Thus, while you might see a serious reviewer describe a car as 'striking', 'graceful', 'aggressive' or perhaps 'anonymous', you'll rarely see them declaring a car to be pretty or ugly without some sort of beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder caveat.


Sometimes, however, beauty is a car's trump card. So it is with the Alfa Romeo Spider. Because looking good is the one thing it does better than anything else, and subjectivity can go hang; I would be willing to put actual money (not something a motoring journalist does lightly, believe me) on the fact that the vast majority of people reading this will agree that the Spider is a damn fine-looking car.

Alfa Romeo has a chequered history when it comes to car styling, but its open-top offerings have almost always managed to avoid the ugly stick, preferring instead the gentle caress of the beautiful branch.


The latest model, which has been with us since 2007, is no exception. Its elegant proportions look spot-on from more or less any angle, it blends sharp creases with voluptuous curves with almost contemptuous ease, and it seems perfectly to tread the thin line between prettiness and aggression.

What makes the Spider's prettiness a little surprising is that it was actually kind of designed by committee - albeit a committee of deeply stylish Italians. The front half is taken from the Italdesign-penned Brera, while the rest is the work of Alfa Centro Stile and Pininfarina - which builds the car.


Sadly, the Spider's exquisite styling is about the only aspect of the car about which we can be unreservedly complementary, because even the most cursory investigation reveals the car to be more or less dreadful in every other respect.

The backsliding starts the moment you hop in. The cabin's driver-focused design is initially visually appealing, but you quickly realise that, although the layout is logical, the quality of the materials isn't up to scratch. It would be just-about acceptable in a £15k hatchback; for a £27k soft-top it's simply not good enough.

The ribbed leather seats also look just right, but you can't get them low enough and they feel oddly hard.


The effect is to entirely spoil what would otherwise be a reasonable driving position - the pedals are well placed and the steering wheel seems right, but nobody in the PH office could get the seat to where they felt it ought to be. The awkward driving position is also not helped by the gearbox, whose knobbly action seems awkwardly long in throw; a slick rifle-bolt affair it ain't.

Things go from bad to worse on the move, as even smooth roads set off a shimmy through the Spider's body. The odd wobble is of course the inevitable consequence of chopping a whole load of steel from a car's structure, but this kind of wobble would be unacceptable in a four-seat convertible designed in the late 1990s, let alone a two-seat design that's less than half a decade old.


What's more, the result of the floppy chassis is inherently hamstrung handling as the suspension tries to deal with wobbles from both the road and the car. The only saving grace, chassis-wise, is a pleasantly incisive turn-in from the typically quick-acting Alfa steering.

Which kind of leaves us desperately casting around for other good things to say. The hood, at least, is good; it stows away neatly and the cabin is reasonably cosy with it up. The driver and passenger will also find themselves in an impressively quiet and unruffled environment with the roof down, too.

There's some more relief in the form of the engine. Alfa had the good sense last year to fit its latest 1742cc turbocharged motor to the Spider and Brera and, with 197bhp and a decent 236lb ft from just 1400rpm, the Spider can haul itself along at a respectable lick; Alfa's claims of 0-62mph in 7.8secs and a maximum of 146mph seem eminently believable.


But with the Spider it seems that every silver lining must come with a cloud, and having all that torque available so early rather easily overwhelms the front tyres. The result that any enthusiastic getaway is likely to be accompanied by a furiously flashing traction control light.

The Spider 1750 TBi also commits the rather less forgivable sin (for an Alfa Romeo) of not being characterful enough. Instead of growling or barking in the way that one feels a sporting Alfa ought to, the 1742cc turbocharged motor is refined enough, but a bit buzzy, much in the manner of a washing machine on spin.

So while we reckon the Spider works as a piece of automotive sculpture, by almost every single objective measure - and by some subjective ones (that lack of engine-noise soul) - the Spider falls pretty flat.


Everybody who tried it at PHHQ wanted to like it, too, but the Spider quashed our various enthusiasms one by one: Editor Chris-R (a tall fellow, admittedly) failed to fit into it properly; I felt deeply let down by the lack of a decent engine note; publishing boss Stuart was genuinely shocked by the wobbliness of it on even billiard table-like black stuff. It even broke down on Garlick - a wobbly jubilee-style clip allowing a hose to come loose and causing the car to spit its coolant over the road (not a major mechanical outage, but that sort of thing ought not to happen on such a theoretically cutting-edge engine).

This year is your last chance to get hold of the current Spider, because it, along with its Brera cousin, will die before 2011 is out. And despite this one's manifest shortcomings, there's still a lot of love in this office for the idea of a Spider. A pretty Italian convertible with an Alfa badge will always win over penty of petrolheads (or, to be more accurate, hearts). Let's just hope that the next time Alfa has a go at one it does a better job...

Author
Discussion

dwilkie

Original Poster:

2,222 posts

185 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
Pretty much exactly what we thought when my friend had one as a courtesy car.

It looked ACHINGLY beautiful, then you'd drive it and we'd agree it was a bit cack. Then you'd park it, get out, look over your shoulder and fall in love with it all over again.

It was a 2.4 JTD which didn't help - the sound didn't fit the car at all, but again you'd forget the second you looked back at it.

I could easily be swayed into accidentally purchasing one, then keeping it forever as I fell in and out of love with it several times a day!

ANS2vrs370

516 posts

180 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
I had this engine in a 159 when my DD was in for repair great engine and car but the fuel consumption was terrible when compared to BMW and VW offerings for the same power. The 370Z was better.....

Cracking looking soft top though.


Chris_w666

22,655 posts

198 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
I think it is one of the few cars I would be happy to own based on looks, but the inside feels slightly less well put together than the Fiat Bravo.

M666 EVO

1,124 posts

161 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
I would put up with Natalie Portman if she burped and swore all the time...

Is that the same sort if thing??

dwilkie

Original Poster:

2,222 posts

185 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
M666 EVO said:
I would put up with Natalie Portman if she burped and swore all the time...

Is that the same sort if thing??
That's possibly most accurate analogy I've ever heard.

You mean kinda like this? (NSFW)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpMPFGBtE7Q

kambites

67,461 posts

220 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
A nice looking car in isolation (except for the side-on view, which shows up the front overhang) with some lovely styling details but put it next to anything that you know the size of and they look laughably bulky - like a pastiche of a sports car.

M666 EVO

1,124 posts

161 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
dwilkie said:
M666 EVO said:
I would put up with Natalie Portman if she burped and swore all the time...

Is that the same sort if thing??
That's possibly most accurate analogy I've ever heard.

You mean kinda like this? (NSFW)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpMPFGBtE7Q
Hang on she has short hair... THAT changes everything! :-)

(but yeah I still would!)

Alfahorn

7,758 posts

207 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
Production has already ceased, there are very limited number left in the UK.

Garlick

40,601 posts

239 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
Article said:
It even broke down on Garlick - a wobbly jubilee-style clip allowing a hose to come loose and causing the car to spit its coolant over the road
And what a day to break down.....


noclue

109 posts

175 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
What is with the gearing on this, 0-60 7.8 top speed 146mph?? Most hot hatches will eat the 0-60, why not sacrifice the top end and give us better repsonce at speeds that your actually allowed to drive at.

giles77

42 posts

161 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
What's going on at Alfa Romeo? I love driving Alfas but all the new reviews I have read slate the things that they would traditionally excel at. Didn't expect much from the Spider but even with a roof the press are slating their latest attempts.

Is there any prospect of a decent handling new release on the horizon?

Stuart

11,635 posts

250 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
M666 EVO said:
I would put up with Natalie Portman if she burped and swore all the time...

Is that the same sort if thing??
To take the analogy further, for me it was like discovering that not only did Ms Portman burp and swear, but that she had a false leg, questionable personal hygiene, bad breath and a wig. And that underneath it all was a 50 year old brummie called Geraldine with a fondness for crochet and a cistercian approach to the bedroom.

I drove our car away from the Mercedes Benz Sunday Service and initially thought that Garlick or someone else must've driven into a kerb, such was the chassis wobble as I cruised down a very Mercedes-esque ribbon of super smooth completely straight tarmac. Then I realised that no such kerbing had taken place and that the Alfa's chassis "dynamics" were to blame.

Woeful. Absolutely woeful.

dwilkie

Original Poster:

2,222 posts

185 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
giles77 said:
What's going on at Alfa Romeo? I love driving Alfas but all the new reviews I have read slate the things that they would traditionally excel at. Didn't expect much from the Spider but even with a roof the press are slating their latest attempts.

Is there any prospect of a decent handling new release on the horizon?
The 159 handles nicely enough smile

Chris_w666

22,655 posts

198 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
Stuart said:
M666 EVO said:
I would put up with Natalie Portman if she burped and swore all the time...

Is that the same sort if thing??
To take the analogy further, for me it was like discovering that not only did Ms Portman burp and swear, but that she had a false leg, questionable personal hygiene, bad breath and a wig. And that underneath it all was a 50 year old brummie called Geraldine with a fondness for crochet and a cistercian approach to the bedroom.

I drove our car away from the Mercedes Benz Sunday Service and initially thought that Garlick or someone else must've driven into a kerb, such was the chassis wobble as I cruised down a very Mercedes-esque ribbon of super smooth completely straight tarmac. Then I realised that no such kerbing had taken place and that the Alfa's chassis "dynamics" were to blame.

Woeful. Absolutely woeful.
rofl

Yet after all that one is still on the list.

Biggriff

2,312 posts

283 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
My wife had one and everything the editorial says I would agree with. Fuel consumption was dismal and apart from a pretty good ride and quiet it was awful.

It says something that she chopped it in for a Volvo and she thinks thats great.

Gizmo!

18,150 posts

208 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
Wow... I don't think I've ever read anything so damning in a PH review! At least you didn't drive the diesel version... biggrin

Seriously guys, I was starting to wonder whether any of you ever drove anything that you genuinely didn't like, it's almost nice to know that some things aren't very good because it makes the rest of your praise more genuine. Admittedly you don't drive very much 'boring and workmanlike' stuff so in theory everything featured here should be excellent.

So, Alfa. Where do you do from here...?

Well, I'd suggest 1 - Build this:


2 - Don't f*ck it up.

Stuart

11,635 posts

250 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
To be fair to Alfa, this is the key point:

Riggers said:
This year is your last chance to get hold of the current Spider, because it, along with its Brera cousin, will die before 2011 is out
The car is at the end of its life, and therefore is in most ways diminished by the competition, all of whom have replaced models far more recently. It also competes in a sector in which there is far more competition than ever before from manufacturers with arguably deeper pockets.

Martin 480 Turbo

601 posts

186 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
So, you now have me with a tear in my eye (blink). That was not a review. That was damnation.

But a deserved one, I know it myself. As a one time Alfa Spider owner I'd buy the next one
when petrol is over as a sculpture for the patio. It IS so pathetic and said.
The old and aching 80ies Veloce I had was so much fun. Of course it broke down. But it
was fund when it worked. The new once though...

There will be no next chance to get it right. Now that they curbed VWs offer.

Martin 480 Turbo

ganser

103 posts

198 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
The limited edition Ti version looked the nicest i think. The Autodelta 3.2 V6 is pretty special

T5SOR

1,991 posts

224 months

Tuesday 11th January 2011
quotequote all
I am currently looking for an Alfa Spider 3.2 V6. Looking at this thread you dont seem to rate them too high! Not that this has put me off as I am really tempted to get one.

Any other ownership stories?

I had a test drive in a 2.2 at the weekend and was rather surprised how good it was. Although, I didn't really test the handling I thought it felt ok. I drive an MX5 and previously a VX220.