If you thought last week's
Fiat X1/9
was a bit of a punt, then this week's offering is the Shed of the Week equivalent of slapping £995 on black 16 at the roulette table.
But, much like making a gamble at the casino tables, the potential rewards of Alfa GTV ownership are deeply tempting. The odd thing is, as soon as you start trying to quantify what makes the GTV so good, you start to struggle.
The 1962cc DOHC twin-carb engine, for example, is noted as a sweet motor, but it's got none of the gloriously throaty gargle of the V6 fitted to more powerful models. It's not particularly rapid, either, although its 132bhp gives it enough oomph to sprint to 60mph in 9.3secs on the way to a 120mph top speed.
The underpinnings - shared with the Alfetta saloon - are also of the good rather than great variety: the unusual rear-mounted gearbox gave good weight distribution and ensured decent traction for the correct-wheel drive Alfa, but the double-wishbone/torsion beam front suspension and de Dion rear suspension arrangement was competent rather than inspiring.
It was also outrageously impractical. It looked like a hatchback, but it wasn't. It looked like it could carry four adults in comfort, but it was actually quite cramped. And the driving position was of the long-arm, short-leg variety that typified so many Italian cars in the 1970s and 1980s.
And now this GTV is knocking on the door of 30, we'd better not even start to talk about the dodgy electrics or rust issues that were already a potential hazard when the car was brand new...
And yet...there is something about the GTV's Guigiaro-designed shape that oozes cool. Every time I see one the hunched, muscular fastback shape never fails to make me desperately want to own one. Despite some fussy detailing (particularly around the C-pillar and D-pillar, the GTV's lines inexplicably put me in mind of a hyena in an expensively tailored suit; there's a lot of style and panache there, but beneath it is something rather more crude and possibly even savage. It's a good look.
This particular £995 hyena has been the seller's daily drive for two and a half years (brave chap) and the motor is in allegedly fine fettle. It's done 140,000 miles since 1982, the owner proudly states that all gauges and switches work, and the car is also fitted with a wooden Momo steering wheel (although there are no interior pics provided so we can't confirm that).
The advert makes it plain that the GTV isn't perfect (just as a Shed should be), but a worn synchro on second and a tatty door card ought not to be a deal breaker.
Yes, it's impractical. Yes, it's a risk. And yes, it's utterly wonderful. Less than a grand to scratch that Alfa Romeo itch? You know you want to...
Advert is reproduced below:
1982 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GTV 2.0 For Sale
£995
For sale my early plastic bumper Alfetta GTV (or GTV really). Good condition for year, been my daily drive since May 2007 and never let me down. Can't confirm the mileage but the engine is good and strong with no problems and easy starting. All guages and switches work!!! Oil pressure good and water temp steady with no overheating in traffic. MOT mainly entailed tyres last year. Rare OGLE dash and Momo(?) wooden steering wheel.
Ball joints
New rear discs
Professionally fitted wheel arch repair panel to offside rear
CSC exhaust rear box and new mid section
Steering column switches (had the wheel off - not easy)
Propshaft donuts 2/3
Refurbished Fuel Tank
The gearbox second gear synchro is worn (I double de-clutch but you might not want to!!!)
Some tidying of the bodywork externally
Probably needs new pads to front pretty soon
THE GOOD - great fun to drive, turns heads, shiny paintwork and overall reasonable interior (not concours), sounds great, good engine and clutch, still pretty quick - REAR WHEEL DRIVE
THE BAD - that second gear synchro, driver's door card tatty, gearbox can rattle a bit at tickover when hot and the clutch engaged
THE UGLY - GTV6 bumper to front (washers not connected)
Have got a set of Superflex bushes for Watts linkage and braided front brake hoses along with front indicators that will be included (haven't got round to fitting them.
Happy to answer any queries.