As the nation reels from the grip of the most extreme weather conditions since, er, last winter, it falls to PH to answer an age-old question. Just what is the fastest way from A to B when Mother Nature throws a wobbler?
It shouldn't take a brain scientist to work out that a rally car is the obvious answer - cross-country blasting on the slippy stuff is what they're all about. But even we'd admit that proposing a Group B rally car as an all-weather commuter may cause our more casual visitors to raise a quizzical eyebrow. True PHers, by contrast, will overlook any teensy practical compromises and immediately grasp the logic....
Just as well really because, after the briefest of lunchtime forays into our classifieds, we've decided a Metro 6R4 is the perfect antidote to Britain's winter motoring woes. In fact, we're amazed we haven't thought of it before.
The 6R4 (six-cylinder, rally car, four-wheel drive, in case you were wondering) has little in common with its supermini sibling, which to be fair is an important consideration if you're looking for a genuinely practical sporting hatch. That's what we mean about the teensy practical compromises.
The Metro's humdrum bodyshell was fairly brutally butchered in the quest for performance, with large portions being chopped off and replaced by more, er, shouty appendages. We're talking about a deep front air dam, novel front spoiler, flared wheel arches, a massive rear spoiler and air vents that lend the 6R4 more suck than a greedy piglet.
Underneath, the body has a structure to match the looks. Working with Patrick Head, Austin Rover took the 6R4's usefully compact shape and made it one of the most rigid cars of its type. It was then adorned with all the race spec appendages required for the lunatic world that was Group B rallying.
Being a 1980s rally car this little Metro packed a proper punch, and lurking beneath its portly middle quarters is the heart of a superhero. Well, a supercar anyway. Also credited with powering Jag's XJ220, the 6R4's 3.0-litre V64V (V6, four valves per cylinder, in case you were wondering) power unit was available in two states of naturally aspirated tune - Clubman and International.
The Clubman minced out a mere 250bhp but our spec of choice - International - was capable of a far more agreeable 380-410bhp, while apparently maintaining all the driveability of the smaller unit.
This example adds the icing to the proverbial cake, gracing the PH classifieds in Marlboro-esque war paint of lurid fluorescent orange on a bed of white. The competition-inspired paintjob does not, however, signify a past life of 'big offs' and mechanical misdemeanours, as the machine has been completely refurbished and never rallied.
It even comes complete with an MOT and, at a mere £75,000 for a piece of history with more street-cred than any Evo from I to X, there's only one thing stopping us from picking up the phone right now. Yep, that mere £75,000...