"Your siren startled my mount, officer..."
We've hummed, hawed, prevaricated about, and generally avoided motorcycling as an editorial topic here on the PH homepage for exactly the right amount of time. Tomorrow, the rot stops.
Yes, contrary to all our reasonable expectations, chaps and ladies in the PH community continue to tear about town and countryside on over-powered and under-airbagged weapons of sphincter destruction. And as they won't listen to reason, we've allocated a corner of the website and er, hired Colin Goodwin to help keep them entertained.
Yes, that Colin Goodwin, the noted car journalist who also happens to be a confirmed motorcycling nut. He'll be contributing regularly (or until he's booed off) in the new PH section we've cleverly entitled PH2. Meaning 'two wheels' and 'as well'. (Yes, we already said it was clever.)
OK, we give up. What's the front one for?
To set the ball rolling, here's Colin introducing himself - in his own words:
"Lambretta Li 125, £15, towed home on the end of a rope behind a friend's mum's Triumph 2.5PI estate. She was Dutch and the cloggies have never been that fussed about rules, especially back in 1975. Our mums wouldn't let us buy the Mini that we'd seen for a tenner so we bought the bike instead. It was knackered and they never thought we'd get it going, but we did.
"Anyway, that's how it all started. Two thousand miles in the back garden on a Suzuki TS125, bought my first copy of MCN for 19p, then my 17th birthday rolled around. Rode the Suzy into the back of a Mini estate on day three but we both survived. Next a Honda CD175 which one evening went through the front door of a fish and chip shop on the way back from Brands Hatch and the Transatlantic Trophy races with Sheene and Mamola. Bike test, and then onto a '75 Norton Commando 850. Don't laugh, have you ridden an early Honda 750/4?
'Brrrng'. Gok Wan please - emergency!
"I don't quite know how many bikes I've owned. Over forty I think. Laverda Jotas, early Gold Wing, 400/4 and twin-cam 750/4; Kwacker 750H2, Triumph 955 Daytona and some I've long forgotten about.
"In 1983 I went despatch riding and did it for the next three years. Did I fall off much? Never twice in one day. Damon Hill used to work at my company, lots of cool people did. One year, working in Guildford on a supplied BMW R80RT I did a tad over 60,000 miles.
"It wasn't a mid-life crisis, I always wanted to try racing a bike. I sold a flat just before my fortieth bithday. Made just over 40 grand on it and being a master of personal finance blew the whole lot on a 911 and a super-tuned Triumph 750 Trident race bike. Like the ones that raced in the early '70s. Don't know why I went the classic route but it was fun. The bike was quick, too. Only a few seconds a lap off a modern 600 club racer around Mallory. Anyway, I enjoyed the four years I did it for. Tally: collar bone and several ribs.
Goodwin's only new bike was a Triumph
"So that's my motorcyling CV. I hope it passes muster amongst PH's two-wheeled crowd, because I've been offered hard cash to spout-off on the subject.
"I'm really excited about the year ahead. Lots of new machines heading our way, Rossi on a Ducati; Guy Martin my favourite for a TT win (raced against him, too, so it's not all old farts on classics). Maybe we'll even get a dry summer, but ever since someone invented heated clothing even the winters aren't as bad as they used to be."
We're very excited too, Col, and genuinely delighted to welcome you aboard the good ship PH contributing under your new profile name - Yonah.
As we like to say to new team members here on PH, you've nothing to lose but respect, credibility and your reputation. Over to you, Sir!
'The Beast'. Not a Triumph
(PS. Yonah's current machine is pictured right. A 1986 BMW K75 bought for £750, now with 112,000 miles on the clock. "Little danger of highsiding this excellent machine," he says.
Like we said, you've nothing to lose but your cred...)