"I would like to buy a Honda, but built in Cowley to standards not quite on a par with those of a Japanese factory. I would, however, also like my Honda to look pretty much like the inside of a gentleman's club."
This is the statement you would be making if, in the late 80s or early 90s, you pointed your hard-earned in the direction of a Rover 800. If you bought a mid-to-late 90s model, you might want to add "Oh, and I want the outside to look like a 60s throwback".
But these are cruel things to say about Rover's final attempt at a proper executive car (for the purposes of this argument we'll call the 75 too small). Okay, so the 800 had very little of the technical or design innovation that marked out the SD1 or P6 (or even P5), and its reputations for quality or reliability were hardly sparkling. And if you're being really harsh, Honda's insistence (for this was a joint project that also created the original Honda Legend) that the front suspension should be a double-wishbone affair in order to allow a lower bonnet line stymied the 800's ability to produce a pillow-soft ride.
But there's a certain English elegance to the 800 that you just can't get these days (or perhaps I'm just having another one of my 'turns').
And of course the humble 800 is a bit of an endangered species these days - there were more than 300,000 produced originally, yet the PH classifieds only carries a single example at the moment, and even Auto Trader musters fewer than 20 cars.
Of those, we've picked a 94k mile, 1996 N-plate 825i. We're not 100 per cent sure whether this means it has a Honda V6 or an early K-series unit, but it looks tidy, has a long MOT and, apart from the tow hitch that suggests a part-time job as a caravan lugger, could easily have you playing '90s government minister'. And for a fiver less than £700 it is a heck of a lot of car for the money. Just don't get into the back seat hoping to get somewhere, because it doesn't come with a chauffeur...
this 1997 Coupe
up for £999, a rare manual version, but since the ad didn't provide an image of the front of the car we felt it couldn't be the main SOTW
Advert is reproduced below
1996 ROVER 800 825 STERLING 4DR AUTO TAXED AND TESTED
£695
4 Doors, Automatic, Saloon, Petrol, 94,000 miles, Metallic Silver, MOT-08-2012. TAXED AND TESTED, EXCEPTIONAL RUNNER. GREAT VALUE LUXURY MOTORING. Service History, Radio/Cassette, CD Multichanger, Heated front seat, Multi function steering wheel, Electrically adjustable seats, Electric sunroof, ABS, Adjustable seats, Adjustable steering column/wheel, Air conditioning, Alloy wheels, Anti theft system, Central locking, Colour coding - Body, Colour coding - Interior, Cruise control, Driver airbag, Electric mirrors, Electric windows, Foglights, Head restraints, Heated screen, Leather seats, Metallic paintwork, Passenger airbag, Power assisted steering, Radio, Rear armrest, Remote locking, Spoiler, Sunroof, Tinted glass. Insurance Group:14, OPEN 7 Days, All vehicles HPI Checked. Stock Changing Daily. After Hours By Appointment. £695 p/x to clear