If you're a UK-based Sheddist, real or potential, count your lucky stars. You really are blessed.
Aluminium Audi sophistication for less than a grand
In the long lonely hours of darkness when Mrs Shed is snoring soundly in her pit, Shed regularly finds himself web-trawling through the world's used car parks. It's a sobering experience. If you're in Australia, for example, the sort of Boxster that you could easily pick up for £4K here will sting you the thick end of ten big 'uns over there.
When you're done laughing at the misfortune of our colonial cousins, grant yourself another quiet smile at the prospect of this Audi A8. The A8 was the first mass-market car with an aluminium chassis. This one has a 32-valve 4.2 V8 with 300hp, 295lb/ft, four-wheel drive, full leather and a moderately plutocratic spec. For the nearest new equivalent, your friendly Audi dealer will demand something not unadjacent to £73K.
But here's this one with a stuffed service book, six months tax, honest-looking mileage, an MOT to next March and an 'A8' plate that (according to Shed's mate Reginald Transfers) has crossed the block at £1,000 - all yours for £999.
Some reckon the original A8 is the best
That's right, a beautiful silver Audi A8 4.2 Quattro, with shutlines tighter than a cat's towelholder, for just £999. It really does make you rub your eyes and slap yourself in the face repeatedly until the nice people from the social come round.
Can it really be true? What, apart from group 20 insurance and 14mpg in town, is the big catch with an early-ish A8 like this?
You might be surprised. This is one of those cars where old is most certainly not bad. More than one A8 repeat buyer in the UK has been heard to mutter about a gradual reduction in the quality of the A8 experience. Today's third-gen car is 75mm longer than the previous one, for example, but somehow seems to have less rear legroom and less boot space that its predecessor. The 'comfort' seats in the new car somehow seem to be less comfortable than the 'sports' seats in the old model. Telecomms functionality somehow seems to be Bluetooth-grindingly inferior, and so on.
Audi conservativism pays off in this case
The dynamics have progressively improved over time, but the price paid for extra blobs in the handling section of magazine road tests has been a regrettable reduction in waftarama. Not that the A8 was ever a plush-riding car in comparision to the XJ or S-Class.
Luxury is always relative, of course. Put anyone who's never driven a big exec into the seat of any A8 and they'll soon be gibbering in ecstasy. But even after we've discounted that phenomenon, you're still left with the distinct feeling that the big winner in the A8 story could be the Shedman whose meagre resources disqualify him from anything bar the cheapest specimens.
Naturally, running costs won't be low if you use the performance. Up until the mid-2000s, the 4.2 V8's cams were belt driven: working on a 75K change policy, this one could be due soon. The Quattro system means you really need to replace all four tyres at once. Failure to do so risks lunching the transmission. Thermostats go and electrickery is everywhere, which of course can be the Shedman's nemesis. MMI info screens are known for going on the blink, ditto the electric boot latch.
And if it's a wreck you can sell the plate
In general however the A8's excellent build quality should protect you from the worst. Dents in that lightweight body can be an expensive pain, but if you're lucky you could end up with something that is both a lovely drive and genuinely incredible value for money.
Which is where we came in. With a warmed-over fourth-gen car due soon the appeal of first-gen A8s like this can surely only go one way. Buy into that old-but-good experience now, and use the quid left over from your thousand to buy a Walkers Grab Bag for your first motorway cruise. The heady pem of cheese'n'onion and leather will live with you forever.
4 Doors, Automatic, Saloon, Petrol, 145,000 miles, Metallic Silver, MOT-03-2014, 2 Owners. 1997 AUDI A8 WITH 17 AUDI STAMPS IN SERVICE BOOK 6 MONTHS TAX AND MOT AN ABSOLUTE BEAUTY ABS, Adjustable seats, Adjustable steering column/wheel, Air conditioning, Alloy wheels, Anti theft system, CD, Central locking, Child locks, Colour coding - Body, Computer, Cruise control, Driver airbag, Electric mirrors, Electric windows, Foglights, Front armrest, Head restraints, Headlight washers, Heated screen, Heated seats, Leather seats, Locking wheel nuts, Lumbar support, Metallic paintwork, Multi function steering wheel, Navigation system, Park distance control, Passenger airbag, Pearlescent paint, Power assisted steering, Radio, Rear armrest, Remote locking, Sports seats, Sunroof, Tinted glass, Towbar, Side airbags, Sunblind, Telephone, Traction control. Insurance Group:20. £999