Ah, the good old days of 2007, when men were men, a 2GB USB drive would set you back £20 but you could buy a litre of petrol and still get change out of a quid. And when BMW's M Division was still trying to sell estate cars.
Single digit mpg in a family estate? Step up!
That's 'trying' as in 'failing', but still - what a car the E61 M5 Touring was. It was the spiritual successor to the E34 M5 wagon, and the only one officially sold in the UK. And as the chaps at M have since moved onto making blinged up expresses like the M6 Gran Coupe the E61 Touring looks set to remain the last of the line. It's certainly hard to think of something that scores as many man-points as a V10-engined estate with 500hp, rear-wheel drive and the ability to move a couple of grandfather clocks.
Of course, it's easy to understand M's decision to stop doing wagons considering the E61's minimal sales. Only 222 right-hookers were made - it fared little better elsewhere - with buyers in this rarefied market segment demonstrating a clear preference for either the traction assurance of a Quattro badge or, more likely, a sod-off massive SUV. And as the M5 estate shares its sister's reputation for both towering running costs and occasional mechanical meltdowns, it's fair to say it remains a brave purchase six years later.
Looks are about the only sensible thing about it
But there's a huge amount to love if your wallet can take it. The V10 engine clatters like a Transit when it's cold, and there are electric toothbrushes with more low-down torque, but boy does it like to rev - pulling to nearly 9,000rpm with a howling soundtrack that can reanimate the recently deceased. Handling is pretty much identical to the saloon: plenty of grip (presuming the tyres are fresh), but an abundance of rear-end slip too if that's what you're in the mood for. It's a comfortable and extremely rapid long-distance tourer with room for four, their luggage and - if you're travelling to a plumbing convention - even the kitchen sink.
Well, it's rapid for a couple of hours at a time, average speeds are always going to suffer as the M5's horrendous thirst drains its 70-litre fuel tank in unfeasibly short periods. Draft a truck going downhill at 56mph and the M5 will manage mid-20s mpg, but you'll be struggling to achieve a real world average that isn't in the mid-teens, and used hard the figure can fall into single figures. The good news is that the lowest number you'll ever see on the average fuel display is 7mpg; but that's only because the system isn't programmed to go any lower.
A nice view, apart from the fuel gauge
Then there's the small matter of the seven-speed single-clutch SMG automated gearshift. There's no polite way of saying this, so we'll save the swear filter and just say that it's really not very good. Hesitant when left to its own devices, it's jerky even in its fastest mode. You get used to it over time, but only in the same way you acclimatise to dental pain or a leaking roof.
The SMG is also the weakest mechanical link, with a reputation for shredding clutches if used hard and sometimes expensive blow-ups, especially if the previous owner has used the launch control system that BMW admitted it only fitted so that journalists could harvest suitably impressive 0-60 times. Being a 2007 car, this one should have the uprated SMG pump - and the advert's promise the car has been maintained regardless of expense suggests there's a fat folder of invoices to wince over. The Touring's 1,955kg mass means it eats tyres and brakes when used hard; a full set of discs and pads will run you to over £1,500 from a BMW dealer and at least a grand from a specialist.
The Touring commands a modest premium over the vastly more common M5 saloon, but not that much of one. £23,250 looks like a fair price to start negotiating considering the every-box-ticked spec and the optimum colour combination of silver outside and black leather within. For one of the rarest M cars, that's a compelling pricetag. Tempted?
BMW M5 TOURING
Engine: 4,999cc V10
Transmission: 7-speed automated manual, rear-wheel drive, LSD
Power (hp): 507@7,750rpm
Torque (lb ft): 384@6,100rpm
MPG: 18.8
CO2: 361g/km
First registered: 2007
Recorded mileage: 71,000
Price new: £85,000
Yours for: £23,250
Original adver here.