Lo, let us gaze in wonderment at the automotive equivalent of the Dead Sea Scrolls – an unmessed-with Citroen Saxo VTR.
Gape in open-mouthed wonder at its unlowered suspension. Suspend your disbelief at the pristine condition of its unsullied flanks and unscraped front end. Salivate at the sight of its gouge-free alloys, possibly – could it be? surely not? – wearing tyres not made in China.
Someone more uncouth than Shed might liken it all to finding a virgin in a whorehouse. He’s not like that, obviously, but he is feeling slightly faint. Hang on a minute… hang on… it’s got low mileage as well. Oh no. It's all too much.
What’s wrong with it then, apart from it having the same name as a packet of salt? Well, it’s a French supermini from the early 2000s, so draw your own conclusions as regards long-term quality. Nor is it face-meltingly rapid at the top end, an 8-valve trait exacerbated by long gearing, but having half the correct number of valves means there’s decent get up and go from low revs around town.
The beauty of little cars that are light on their feet is that tyres and brakes can last ages if you don’t thrape them around everywhere. Or lower them too much, as that crocks the driveshafts and suspension bushes.
Inside, seat sliders are a bit flimsy, and take along a bottle of water so you can check the sunroof seals are still water-tight - Saxo roofs often get a bit leaky.
But on the up side, 40+ mpg, 7 months MOT, and tax till, er, Monday week… only Shed’s legendary sense of fair play and fear of being done for insider trading is preventing immediate purchase. Nothing to stop you though. Merry Christmas.
Here's the original ad:
CITROEN SAXO VTR 2001 LOW MILEAGE (£799)
2001 X reg
Tax until 31/12/12 and 7 months MOT
2 New front tyres
3 Door, 5 seats
Radio/CD/AUX/USB head unit