We read a lot of press releases here at PH, and spend a fair amount of our time filtering them and - when we're interested enough in what they're plugging - translating them from PR speak into something approaching English.
But some are truly unimprovable, like the one that brought us here. Here's the first line (and it gets better):
When 'murdered out' goes a bit too far
"Boutique carbon fibre atelier Vitesse | AuDessus, manufacturer of bespoke automotive pieces, announces its launch worldwide."
We'll leave aside the attempted use of punctuation in the company name, a convention we don't follow; you have to give credit to whoever came up with that 'carbon fibre atelier' line. (It's French for 'workshop' apparently.)
The basic pitch is simple enough - Vitesse AuDessus makes replacement carbonfibre bodywork for a range of supercars, offering carbon with a selection of weaves, colours and final finishes. Kits are offered for the Ferrari 458, Bugatti Veyron and Lamborghini Aventador among others. The release is impressively blase about exact pricing, quoting a casual variation of 100 percent: "exteriors typically range in price from $100-$200K; bespoke pieces for Bugatti Veyron, McLaren P1, Ferrari LaFerrari and Ferrari Enzo may carry a premium over that."
No mention of weight saving anywhere...
But our favourite line is a quote from the Vitesse AuDessus CEO, one that seems to be a pitch aimed straight at the most powerfully built company directors:
"'Our clients have already selected the very best in their lives,' says Stefany Sanchez. 'Everything they own is a reflection of their unique taste: from their home, yacht or jet all the way down to their cuff links. So why should they accept a supercar or exotic vehicle that is no different than the one in their neighbour's garage? Thus, we had a challenge: how do we make something that is already incredibly rare, sexy and exciting even rarer, sexier and even more exciting? The answer? We adorn every inch of it in handcrafted carbon fibre.'"
So if you've managed to order a supercar that's identical to the one next door, here's the solution.