New age Minis divide opinion on PH but few would argue the formula works best the closer it is to the 60s original. And previous new age Minis did a decent job of translating the traditional Mini vibe to the modern era, the low seating position, upright screen, stylised interior and chuckable handling just about enough to convince all but the most hardened cynic.
Plus 72mm in wheelbase, plus extra doors of course
You can't blame BMW for wanting to spin more derivatives off the basic formula to widen the target audience but the coupe, cabrio, Countryman and Paceman run the risk of diluting it to mere parody. The third-gen F56 hatch has a job to do then, anchoring as it does the heart and soul of Mini brand to the heritage it trades so successfully off. Having driven it in
three-door Cooper S
form on the launch event we booked one in for a UK test and when it turned up were somewhat surprised to find it had sprouted a couple of extra doors.
Shouldn't have been really, the five-door Mini having been something of a big deal at recent motor shows and suchlike. But there it was in the car park, towering over the M3 booked in at the same time and looking very Mini but not especially mini.
Tape measures out it's 72mm longer in the wheelbase than the three-door and 161mm longer overall in standard form, though the Cooper S's acne-like bumper embellishments skew those figures somewhat. Somewhat unfortunately it looks more like a slammed Countryman than an elongated hatch.
2.0-litre four pulls hard, if not thrillingly
The previous R53 and R56 generations of modern Mini look neatly understated in comparison; sadly the five-door looks about as convincingly retro as a mock-Tudor semi on an anonymous new-build housing estate. And about as pokey inside. People love the Mini look but the combination of crash regs and a desire to eke out more interior space have wreaked havoc on the proportions and the Mini design details look heavy handed.
Same inside. The old central speedo was pretty pointless as a device for reading speed but at least provided a focal point; now relegated to a housing for the infotainment screen it's surrounded by flashing coloured lights that pulsate like a neglected fruit machine in the corner of a flat roof pub. Nothing wrong with the BMW infotainment system that lurks behind of course, providing you're willing to invest in the gadgets and accept that your sub-£20K Cooper S can very quickly become a £25K hot hatch - see here for the full build of 'our' car.
Where it falls down is the relegation of the familiar iDrive controller from its comfortable elbow height position in BMWs to somewhere on the floor between the seats. As such it's hard to use without taking your eyes off the road and a bit of an awkward stretch - the old joystick design was arguably a more successful compromise.
She's a beaut- oh, no, actually she isn't
Anyway, enough of that, what's it like to drive? The 2.0-litre 192hp turbo four is a much beefier lump than the old 1.6 and is part of BMW's latest B48 modular engine family, to which 500cc cylinders can be added or subtracted as required. In the modern style it's much more linear and torquey than the boosty old engine, which oddly seems to dilute the feisty character enjoyed in hotter versions of the previous two Minis. It's very effective and the added displacement over rivals like the Renaultsport Clio and newly updated Polo GTI shows in the torque figures - a hefty 221lb ft on overboost - but it's a tad soulless.
On the spec sheet the multi-link rear suspension and optional EDC adaptive dampers look like sophisticated and impressive 'big car' tech for a hot hatch but there's not the fluency of the new-school Clio Renaultsport and none of the modes especially impress. Same with the numb steering, lifeless gearchange and springy pedals. Initiating Sport mode may bring up the legend 'Maximum Go-Kart Feel' on the central display, the irony being it seems to have been lost in the attempt to make the Mini feel more grown-up.
Some nice kit, iffy ergonomics though
It is fast but there seems little incentive in exploring this ability, there being little of the previous Cooper S's exploitable lift-off oversteer or sense of feistiness. They have tried, selecting the DSC mid-way stability also initiating the Electronic Differential Lock Control 'e-LSD' and unlocking a little of the adjustability in the chassis we've enjoyed in previous Minis. But when the eco mode flashes up the message "Consumption optimised driving fun" the sense of more gimmickry than substance is hard to escape.
Here, finally, the Clio Renaultsport's attempt to bring hot hatch fun to a more mature five-door audience begins to make some sense. And if the 200hp Renault doesn't appeal the recently revised Polo GTI does the cool, understated Germanic thing underpinned with a decently potent 192hp 1.8 turbo and junior Golf GTI looks. Both would be our picks ahead of the Mini.
MINI COOPER S 5-DOOR
Engine: 1,998cc 4-cyl turbo
Transmission: 6-speed manual/6-speed auto, front-wheel drive
Power (hp): 192@4,700-6,000
Torque (lb ft): 206@1,250-4,750 (221lb ft with overboost)
0-62mph: 6.9sec (6.8sec)
Top speed: 145mph (144mph)
Weight: 1,295kg (1,315kg, EU, with driver)
MPG: 47.9 (52.3, NEDC combined)
CO2: 139g/km (128g/km)
Price: £19,255 (£24,435 OTR as tested comprising Electric Blue metallic paint £475; Media Pack inc. Mini Navigation System XL, Mini Connected XL and enhanced Bluetooth with USB audio £1,175; Chili Pack inc. front fog lights, Mini Excitement Pack, optioned 17-inch Roulette wheels, Mini Driving Modes, dual-zone air conditioning, onboard computer and more £1,900; Leather Cross Punch upholstery at discounted Chili Pack price £590; Intelligent Emergency Calling/E-Call £140; Mini Head-Up Display £375; John Cooper Works roof spoiler £140; John Cooper Works leather steering wheel £75; Chrome Line interior £110 and Anthracite roof liner £120 - Full options build here)
Figures in brackets for optional automatic