We should stop sitting in traffic jams, fat arse caressing heated leather seats, blood pulsating through our cholesterol choked veins. We should get out and get some exercise. Pop the door open and give your fellow motorist a sound beating. Everyone's getting too stressed on our roads and it's about time we were allowed to vent that frustation legally. Bugger going down the gym every night - go ram raiding instead.
Carnage
There's a lot to learn from the animal world. It maintains a pleasing equilibrium with a heathly dose of carnage. It's the humans screwing the world up. I don't see any birds of prey going vegetarian or wild buffalo forming self help groups. Mankind is attempting to bury his natural insticts. Was man designed to run about the countryside bludgeoning small animals, or to don an Italian silk tie and cower behind his PC sending tedious emails? Don't make polite chit-chat with the boss in the gents. Give him a damn good kicking instead - he'll respect your for it.
We should look back at our ancestors
and take a leaf from their books. The Romans had it pretty much sussed. A few good ideas
like sanitation and orgies, but still retaining law and order through judicial use of
violence and the odd lion feeding.
Stabbings
Their road building scheme pulled no punches. John Prescott take note. Quickest route from A to B? Straight line, no fuss - thank you Augustus. No Prescott, not some stupid meandering dirt track of a motorway circling around the countryside avoiding old trees and hedgehog sancturies. Did the Romans stop to argue with muddy blokes in home made tunnels? No - they stabbed people and burned things.
Where do we think we're heading? Are we ever going to be as happy as the Waltons? Will there be a day when people start letting Porsche drivers out of side turnings? Who are we kidding? Where have we 'progressed' to so far? Urban sprawl, traffic jams, side-airbags, daytime TV and Daewoos.
Grenades
Well somewhere between
Boadacia and Mad Max, there is a sensible roads policy to be had. Never mind ten year
plans and integrated transport networks. I don't want a sodding bus stop with rolling dot
matrix display telling me when the next horse box is due. I want a V8 powered Land Rover
with huge bull bars, twin machine guns and a grenade in the glove box.
Society needs to loosen up. Stop chasing scumbag teenagers up the motorways for hours on end. How's about a bit of lateral thinking plod? Car chases are dangerous? Well fit your damn chopper with a few rockets instead. I'm sure Kevin won't steal another Vectra SRi if he knows some Vietnam vet' is chasing him with a small Thermos of napalm.
Vote violence... vote with your fists.
