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Thursday, 1400h, Pie & Piston
There are many reasons why you should get along to the Live Action Arena at the Autosport show this weekend; the Autograss cars, a McLaren 650S GT3, Terry Grant and even a world record attempt. But the main reason you need to head over is the Shedolition Derby. I've just been involved with the practice and it was about the most terrifying yet exhilarating thing I've ever done in a car.
This is not a last man standing banger race, but it does work on a figure-of-eight circuit so there's plenty of potential for, um, scrapes. It's also quite a dark arena that's nowhere near as big as it looks with 11 other cars charging round it...
My car for today's run was a Jaguar XJ. Except it wasn't. The original and problematic V8 had gone, replaced by a Ford V6 and a four-speed manual, a powertrain these guys know and trust. It's required some rather rudimentary mods - see the start switch and pedals! - but it certainly works.
And Lord above is it loud. Easily the loudest thing I've driven. The cam is so aggressive in it that the engine can't be left idling; you have to blip it every couple of seconds to stop it cutting out. Every prod elicits a vicious, feral V6 bark, the noise as hard edged and aggressive as the original V8 must have been smooth and sophisticated. It sounds wicked in every sense.
Watching the guys practice does nothing for nerves, the cars appearing to miss by millimetres. Then I get a practice run by myself and drive the wrong way round the lap. Erk.
The advice from the guys is simple: when you pass through the crossover with traffic heading towards the driver's side, you stay flat out; the other guy finds the gap either in front or behind you. The roles are then reversed next time round. Simple as that (!)
Soon enough we're out racing. And I can say without any doubt that it was the most intimidating drive I've ever had. To take no avoiding action when cars are driving towards you is bad enough, but then to try and find a gap between them is even harder. It's your responsibility and your fault if it goes wrong. An XJ is hardly a small car to be threading through tiny gaps in fast traffic...
But it doesn't go wrong and this run of the Shedolition Derby goes fine. I'm a trembling emotional mess by the end, while the other drivers laugh it off. As the guys get more practice they will get faster and make the Shedolition races even better over the weekend. I'm honoured just to have done a bit of practice and stayed out of trouble. So please do get along if you can, keeping an eye (and an ear!) out for the big blue XJ.
Hatch Hall of Fame, 1300h
Did you vote in the best hot hatch ever vote last year? Then you can't complain that your favourite didn't win! Next to our stand at the Autosport show is a hall of fame of some of the best in that top 50, including the overall winner...
It's the 205 GTI. Of course it's the 205. There's a worrying regularity to the results of polls like this, and yet again the 205 has soared to the top of your votes. The 205 at the show is a gorgeous example, owned by PHer Chris Hughes and looking every inch the pocket rocket champion. Congratulations Chris and Peugeot!
But there are some other gems in the line up. What's most surprising in fact is just how small everything is; the most modern car there is a Clio 182 Trophy (you may recognise it...) and the biggest the Mk1 Focus RS. All of them look compact, light and huge fun. Oh sure, they're probably not the safe, but it's hard to care. Look how much glass they have!
As a fan, it was a shame not to see a 306 there but the Lotus Sunbeam certainly cheered me up. And I need to have a go in the Focus RS with the new one so close...
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