This year, Shed is taking his wife off for a lovely New Year's break to the south of France. Magaluf, to be precise, which as far as Shed is concerned, is a resort to the south of France. A lot of blotchy Brits go on holiday there too, but that makes it nice and cheap.
Yes, still a very pretty car
Only reason for mentioning all this is that, for less than the price of two bucket shop tickets to Majorca, he could have bought this slice of Italian automotive artistry instead, and thereby had a rather nicer time than the time he is now dreading. Sorry, looking forward to.
Yes, there are many Alfa 156s on the used car market. Some of them are even cheaper than this one. But very few of them will come with a one-year MOT and not have 'spares or repairs' buried somewhere in the ad.
The gimlet-eyed among you will have noticed what this one does have buried in its ad, namely the phrase 'Cat D'. There's a lot of punter uncertainty about damaged and repaired cars. Thanks to this general ignorance, Shed has snared many a motoring bargain oft upon the rialto.
Though this is not going to help his turnover or his well-earned reputation as a hard man, underneath his gruff exterior Shed is a generous sort of cove and is therefore happy to divulge the truth about 'Cat' cars. What follows has been ratified by a big insurance cheese mate of his.
Cat D isn't necessarily as bad as you think!
Cat B and Cat A cars should never reappear back on the road. Only the salvageable parts from a Cat B write-off can be used in other roadgoing vehicles.
As far as Cat D and Cat C cars go, as long as the vehicle has had an MOT and/or engineer's report and the insured party has carried out any works they had to do to get the vehicle legally back on the road, you have no problem. From an insurance rating perspective, neither of these categories should make any difference to the premium or to your motoring enjoyment.
In short, you have nothing to fear but fear itself. Well, that and the reputation of Alfa 156s of course. Which, a bit like the Cat thing, is again somewhat distorted by myth and legend.
Simple elegance continues inside
We all know that Italian cars rust and their electrics don't work. That's only half true with the 156. The electrics can be a pain, but rust isn't a major headache. Trim bits do come loose and dangle about, and front tyres wear prematurely on the inside shoulders because of unusual steering geometry. A knocking noise on bumpy roads might mean a new steering rack.
On the green side of the sheet though a properly set up 156 steers like a champ. This is a sweet-handling and still sharp-looking saloon designed by folk whose refusal to give a twopenny damn about the pettifogging requirements of numberplate positioning executives resulted in a wonderfully distinctive front-end look. Some say the 2003 facelift was an improvement, but that's a matter of opinion.
The 1.8 Twin Spark engine is a free-revving honey. You do need to keep an eye on the timing belt however. 35-40K is the replacement interval: skip that (and regular oil changes) at your peril. The good thing with all this sort of stuff is that Shed-age cars don't need to be forced kicking and screaming into horrid Alfa dealerships.
The kids will love the outside at least
Admittedly, the 156 might not appear on Shed's top ten list of Armageddon cars (a list he is now updating weekly rather than monthly), but nor would he turn his nose up at one if the price was right. Which, at £595, it is.
In fact, this one is even better value than you might think because, according to the ad, it is MOT'd for the next 18,201 years. That plus you get two lovely paper mats telling you where to put your feet.
Silver, MOT NOV 20216,LOADS OF HISTORY,TAKEN IN DIRECT PX, CAT D,TRADE CLEARANCE VEHICLE,, A USABLE ALFA., Upgrades - Climate Control, Alloy Wheels (1.8 T.Spark), Metallic Paint, 4 owners, Next MOT due 10/08/2016, Last serviced on 06/08/2015 at 98,000 miles, Service history, Clean bodywork, Interior - Clean Condition, Tyre condition Good, Standard Features - Alarm, Electric Windows (Front), In Car Entertainment (Radio/Cassette). 4 seats, NO HIDDEN EXTRAS ON ANY ALFA'S 6 MONTHS WARRANTY WISE WARRANTY INCLUDED IN FULL PRICE UNLESS TRADE CLEARANCE OR PX ,HERE AT TRUE ALFA @ TCS ONE PERSON MATTHEW DEALS WITH ALL SALES AND AFTER SALES TO HELP YOUR ALFA ROMEO BUYING EXPERIENCE BE HAPPY ,STRESS FREE,INFORMATIVE AND HELPFUL AT EVERY LEVEL .TO GET INTO YOUR FIRST ALFA OR UPGRADE OUT OF YOUR OLDER,LARGER,SMALLER VEHICLE PLEASE TEL. MATTHEW ON 07972885264 THANKS AND HAPPY ALFA DRIVING PEOPLE..., £595