last Friday's - admittedly rather wonderful - choice of Shed of the Week, Garlick obviously has latent criminal tendencies, for the large Jag barge has been the smoker of choice for wideboys and gangster for pretty much half a century now.
But if that XJ12 SOTW was the perfect choice for the aspiring robbers of this world, today's offering might be the ideal vehicle for those with their heart set on catching 'em.
So, for all you Sweeney wannabes out there, may we present this rather appealing specced-to-the-nines Granada Ghia X. Don't go thinking that DI Regan had to slum it compared with his Jaguar-peddling quarry, either.
You'll have plenty of toys to play with while luxuriating in those man-made fibre chairs, too. Electric mirrors, seats and windows, air conditioning and even a trip computer are yours for the fiddling - although not everything seems to work on this particular car. In the back there's even a gooseneck reading light for when you've got some paperwork to catch upon and you've got some hapless DS to do the driving for you.
But it's not all good news. Aside from a few electrical niggles, the seller admits that there's work to be done on the exterior, including a few bumps and dents to be ironed out - but this is SOTW, and you could surely live with a few dents and dings and some scrubby paintwork (especially if you'll be driving through the piles of mysteriously empty cardboard boxes that form an obligatory part of almost every car chase).
There is worse, however, and it comes in the form of the letters S,O,R and N. That's right; this week we're breaking our own SOTW rules in picking out a car that has neither tax nor ticket. But you'll never make it as a tough guy maverick cop without breaking a few rules. Or without tooling around in a Ford Granada.
Advert is reproduced below
2.8i Ghia X Saloon, superb nearly-rust-free condition (1984)
112,443 miles £1,000
Due to my new estate project, I must sell my saloon. She's very nearly totally rust-free (a couple of surface blemishes only, and a bit of grot around the front of the bonnet as they usually do). Underneath she's solid as a rock. A little tiny bit of surface work, and a proper respray, she'd look like she did out of the factory; she really is a good starting point for a light restoration.
She starts & runs fine - would benefit from a tune-up as the neutral idle speed is too fast. All the gears run fine and there's no unusual clonks or bangs from the gear train. I think she's got the wrong diff in, however, as she's quite low geared; brilliant for off-the-lights grand prix, but not so good for cruising at 90 leptons. Mileage wise, she claims around 112,450 - I cannot verify that I'm afraid.
The tyres are all in great condition & have loads of tread left. The spare is a metric tyre, and although it's got lots of tread, the sidewall is badly cracked & crazed, so I'd suggest a replacement is in order. The fitted tyres are all imperial (much cheaper than that metric nonsense). The alloys are in fabulous condition, almost entirely blemish free. One looks to have a slight rub on it, but I can't tell if that's a kerb mark, or that glue stuff they use when fitting the tyres.
- One rear electric window is stuck; and all of the windows are a bit lazy.
- The central locking suffers the usual Granada problem of Just Plain Doesn't Work Properly. You can see all the solenoids trying, but they just can't work through the stiffness to actually operate the locks. A good seeing to will cure this.
- The heater switch has failed, so the blowers won't come on at all. This is a crying shame as, when I bought this Granada, it was the only one I've ever had where the aircon actually worked! I can only assume it still does work, once you've fixed the blower switch, but I can't prove it.
- The hazard light switch only flashes the right-hand indicators. You can make all 4 flash by using the LH indicators on the stalk. That has to be the wierdest fault I've ever seen on any car, ever...
- A standard dipstick is fitted, so the oil level warning light is inoperative.
The exterior looks great from a bit of a distance (thanks to the lack of rust), but up-close there's a few bumps and dings which need looking at. By far the worst is the offside wing which I managed to dent
Really, what this car needs is a very light exterior restoration - fix up the few dents, rub the whole thing down, and treat her to a proper coat of paint. Do that, and she'll look absolutely spectacular for another 25 years. This was something I'd planned on doing myself, but never got around to (always too many other projects on the go); and, now that I'm having to downsize & ditch all my other projects, I fancied an estate instead... and now that I've got the estate, sadly the saloon & I must part company.
She's currently SORNed, last MoT was in 2006. I don't think there's anything that would stop her getting a fresh MoT, except possibly the hazard light problem & the condition of the spare tyre.
There's a load more pictures available at this URL:http://listerengine.com/pics/granada/
A very short test-drive around my yard is possible, but no speed tests (not enough room...)
Price is £1,000ovno.