Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[DoctorX]

Vipers said:

Rayny said:

paua said:

The masters at work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2_6mKhZIec

Thanks - That was a fun start to the weekend

Classic, good old British humour, before the snowflakes and woke brigade descended upon us, bloody good actors as well, days long gone me thinks.

On the subject of spoonerisms, I used to know a Sally White. Endless amusement.

[Avenicus]

22 said:

Here is a bar graph of how much door I've painted.

Love that

[Bright Halo]

DoctorX said:

Vipers said:

Rayny said:

paua said:

The masters at work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2_6mKhZIec

Thanks - That was a fun start to the weekend

Classic, good old British humour, before the snowflakes and woke brigade descended upon us, bloody good actors as well, days long gone me thinks.

On the subject of spoonerisms, I used to know a Sally White. Endless amusement.

Robin Hood and his merry men had a go at spoonerism’s with their names.
Robin Hood - Hobin Rood
Little John - Jittle Lohn
Will Scarlet - Sill Wcarlet
Friar Took didn’t want to play!

[CanAm]

Bright Halo said:

Robin Hood and his merry men had a go at spoonerism’s with their names.
Robin Hood - Hobin Rood
Little John - Jittle Lohn
Will Scarlet - Sill Wcarlet
Friar Took didn’t want to play!

Friar Tuck is the only one that actually works as a Spoonerism.

[Jim1064]

Superb example of real life (live!) spoonerism on the BBC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0yeX1sc6AE

Heard while driving on the M40, still makes me laugh.

[AW111]

Vipers said:

Classic, good old British humour, before the snowflakes and woke brigade descended upon us, bloody good actors as well, days long gone me thinks.

Sadly, I think you posted this seriously, when it's actually funny as fk!

[Vipers]

We are currently accepting applications for 10 mathematics students, 8 have already been filled and we have 4 spots left.

[havoc]

Jim1064 said:

Superb example of real life (live!) spoonerism on the BBC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0yeX1sc6AE

Heard while driving on the M40, still makes me laugh.

I love how he's clearly trying not to laugh.



Oh, and as for comedy / humour...whilst I don't agree with the 'snowflake' comment, I do think modern on-TV humour has been largely neutered by nervous executives and an overly-strong desire "not to give offence".
There's very little that's genuinely funny anymore, and even less that'll stand the test of time and be quoted in the future the way stuff like Monty Python, NTNOCN, Blackadder, Red Dwarf and The Office (not a fan, but can see why it's successful) are. Let's not forget Fawlty Towers and Only Fools & Horses, but please can someone burn all the masters of Mrs Brown's Boys!!!
Moving to film what about the perfect parody that is Tropic Thunder, most things by Mel Brooks (who would be hounded out of Hollywood in seconds nowadays, possibly just for being "too Jewish"* ) and Zucker/Abrams/Zucker?
...and in terms of stand-up - would Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks or Robin Williams be allowed to strut their stuff now?!?
(I do think stuff like Chubby Brown and his ilk are rightly condemned to the past though - there's a line between humour and plain bigotry, and some trample all over it)


* quote from one of his films, BTW.

[MartG]

Vipers said:

We are currently accepting applications for 10 mathematics students, 8 have already been filled and we have 4 spots left.

I remember seeing a sign at Uni - "Will the conference on Modern Mathematics please use the larger half of the hall"

[Rayny]

Vipers said:

Rayny said:

paua said:

The masters at work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2_6mKhZIec

Thanks - That was a fun start to the weekend

Classic, good old British humour, before the snowflakes and woke brigade descended upon us, bloody good actors as well, days long gone me thinks.

I must be hard of thinking as regards to modern times:

Two old shows from my younger days which I considered to be perfectly acceptable.
I had the television on in the background the other day. It was a repeat of that old program 'Goodnight Sweetheart' where Nicholas Lyndhurst plays the part of a time traveller (travelling between the 1980's and the wartime 1940's). I kept hearing a strange beeping noise, It took me a moment to realise that certain words being used to describe people from Japan were being censored out.
Not that long ago they showed repeats of that old classic 'Happy Days' - Before the show they had to broadcast a warning about the attitiudes of the time.

Yet modern programmes seem to allow constant swearing and verbal confrontations, completely unrealistic violence, and graphic intimacy between people of the same gender.

[Vipers]

Rayny said:

Vipers said:

Rayny said:

paua said:

The masters at work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2_6mKhZIec

Thanks - That was a fun start to the weekend

Classic, good old British humour, before the snowflakes and woke brigade descended upon us, bloody good actors as well, days long gone me thinks.

I must be hard of thinking as regards to modern times:

Two old shows from my younger days which I considered to be perfectly acceptable.
I had the television on in the background the other day. It was a repeat of that old program 'Goodnight Sweetheart' where Nicholas Lyndhurst plays the part of a time traveller (travelling between the 1980's and the wartime 1940's). I kept hearing a strange beeping noise, It took me a moment to realise that certain words being used to describe people from Japan were being censored out.
Not that long ago they showed repeats of that old classic 'Happy Days' - Before the show they had to broadcast a warning about the attitiudes of the time.

Yet modern programmes seem to allow constant swearing and verbal confrontations, completely unrealistic violence, and graphic intimacy between people of the same gender.

With all the censorship I always have a chuckle when Radio 2 plays Lou Reid’s Take a walk on the wild side, line “She never lost her head even giving head”, seems to have avoided censorship all the years

[Vipers]

[Rayny]

Vipers said:

In my mind comedy died decades ago It started to die when shouty and sweary people became accepted as 'comedy' .

[Simmos]

Vipers said:

With all the censorship I always have a chuckle when Radio 2 plays Lou Reid’s Take a walk on the wild side, line “She never lost her head even giving head”, seems to have avoided censorship all the years

I always smile at Squeeze 'Cool for cats'...

"I'm invited in for coffee and I give the dog a bone"

[Skyedriver]

Vipers said:

So true.

And yes agree about the Squeeze & Lou Reid songs but listen to a lot of the current songs, there's some risky lyrics in there too but they're so inaudible/mumbled/rapped by people who struggle to enunciate .......

[NoddyonNitrous]

Skyedriver said:

Vipers said:

So true.

And yes agree about the Squeeze & Lou Reid songs but listen to a lot of the current songs, there's some risky lyrics in there too but they're so inaudible/mumbled/rapped by people who struggle to enunciate .......

Two Ronnies in the golf club:
"Are you a town member or a country member?"
"I'm a country member."
"Ah yes, I do remember."

Amazed they got away with that in the 70s or 80s.

[Super Sonic]

Simmos said:

Vipers said:

With all the censorship I always have a chuckle when Radio 2 plays Lou Reid’s Take a walk on the wild side, line “She never lost her head even giving head”, seems to have avoided censorship all the years

I always smile at Squeeze 'Cool for cats'...

"I'm invited in for coffee and I give the dog a bone"

Olivia Newton John, 'Summer Nights'
"He ran by me, got my suit damp"!

[CharlesdeGaulle]

NoddyonNitrous said:

Two Ronnies in the golf club:
"Are you a town member or a country member?"
"I'm a country member."
"Ah yes, I do remember."

Amazed they got away with that in the 70s or 80s.

There were some not-so-hidden classics.

[Still Mulling]

NoddyonNitrous said:

Two Ronnies in the golf club:
"Are you a town member or a country member?"
"I'm a country member."
"Ah yes, I do remember."

Amazed they got away with that in the 70s or 80s.

[peter tdci]

Super Sonic said:

Olivia Newton John, 'Summer Nights'
"He ran by me, got my suit damp"!

Tatiana Romanova in 'From Russia With Love' - in bed and wearing nothing but a pair of stockings and a ribbon round her neck:
Tatiana: "I think my mouth is too big..."
Bond: "No, it's the right size. For me, that is."