Rebooting Your Life
Discussion
GloverMart said:
Anyone here rebooted their life? If so, what did you do? How did you do it? What did you read/listen to to help? And how did you record your progress? This is me....
I'm 56 in two weeks time and pretty fed up to be honest. Constantly tired, rarely really happy, struggle for money and at times, feel lonely.
I'm obese, weighing in at more than 22 stone although I am 6'3" tall. I can lose weight simply by walking regularly and cutting down what I eat; I lost five stone in ten months pre COVID but mentally, the whole pandemic thing affected me more than I'd care to admit and it's all back on. But...
Life is too busy. I work full time in sports administration (with two days a week from home), part time as a data analyst for a sports data company, I produce football programmes for four non-league clubs and I'm secretary for a club too, though I'm giving this up in just over a month as it's too much now. The data analyst role is the only one I enjoy and I get to meet loads of people however....
My loneliness comes from having been single for fifteen years and having no older family. Have four children (32, 28 and twins of 23) & the youngest two live with me, we get on brilliantly. They came to live with me suddenly in 2012 and I made up my mind not to bring any partners into their life till they settled back down. Since then, no relationship at all which, 99% of the time, I don't mind, but I do sometimes wish there was a +1.
Live in a rented house on the outskirts of Bristol. Rent is cheap, it's not in great condition but tbh if I asked my landlord to spend a lot on it, the rent would go up so I live with it. Most of the issues are cosmetic so I leave them be.
So with time ticking on and my birthday a fortnight today, thought I'd better make a change. Anyone taken stock of their life and made some proper real changes? Who did you get advice from - was it podcasts, books, visits to counsellors or what? Did you just crack on and do it or did you write a blog or tweet about your changes?
I want to change. I'm a funny guy, people like me and I like people. But wobbling around life as I am for another 20-25 years holds no appeal to me whatsoever and I'd welcome any genuine advice anyone can give me, particularly from those folk who have been here.
I haven’t read the whole thread just your first post . I'm 56 in two weeks time and pretty fed up to be honest. Constantly tired, rarely really happy, struggle for money and at times, feel lonely.
I'm obese, weighing in at more than 22 stone although I am 6'3" tall. I can lose weight simply by walking regularly and cutting down what I eat; I lost five stone in ten months pre COVID but mentally, the whole pandemic thing affected me more than I'd care to admit and it's all back on. But...
Life is too busy. I work full time in sports administration (with two days a week from home), part time as a data analyst for a sports data company, I produce football programmes for four non-league clubs and I'm secretary for a club too, though I'm giving this up in just over a month as it's too much now. The data analyst role is the only one I enjoy and I get to meet loads of people however....
My loneliness comes from having been single for fifteen years and having no older family. Have four children (32, 28 and twins of 23) & the youngest two live with me, we get on brilliantly. They came to live with me suddenly in 2012 and I made up my mind not to bring any partners into their life till they settled back down. Since then, no relationship at all which, 99% of the time, I don't mind, but I do sometimes wish there was a +1.
Live in a rented house on the outskirts of Bristol. Rent is cheap, it's not in great condition but tbh if I asked my landlord to spend a lot on it, the rent would go up so I live with it. Most of the issues are cosmetic so I leave them be.
So with time ticking on and my birthday a fortnight today, thought I'd better make a change. Anyone taken stock of their life and made some proper real changes? Who did you get advice from - was it podcasts, books, visits to counsellors or what? Did you just crack on and do it or did you write a blog or tweet about your changes?
I want to change. I'm a funny guy, people like me and I like people. But wobbling around life as I am for another 20-25 years holds no appeal to me whatsoever and I'd welcome any genuine advice anyone can give me, particularly from those folk who have been here.
Get this book.
Becoming supernatural - joe dispenza
Sounds like it’s just what you need to reboot / remap how
Your life looks.
Best of luck
GloverMart said:
LastPoster said:
Hi Glover
Is that weight height machine at LWG? And do they charge to use it?
Thanks
No, it's the one at Emerson's Green. It's 70p to use it, £1 if you want the body fat measurement too. Is that weight height machine at LWG? And do they charge to use it?
Thanks
Well done, it looks like you’re making great progress! Right, I better get out for a run, I’ve been procrastinating but you’ve motivated me. Keep it up!
Following with interest.
I've had to re-boot a couple of times in my life, I'm recently 52 and there's every chance I'll have to do it again the next few weeks
I dint record anything consciously, but reading this reminded me that each time, health came first, with diet, then a bit of financial house keeping, getting on the housing ladder....then some fun with friends and cars....THEN it was social and looking for a lover/companion...
I'm having to come to terms with the fact it's me not them, in as much as I can't seem to make a relationship that lasts...
we'll see.
Good luck with your plan OP.... inspiring stuff.
I've had to re-boot a couple of times in my life, I'm recently 52 and there's every chance I'll have to do it again the next few weeks
I dint record anything consciously, but reading this reminded me that each time, health came first, with diet, then a bit of financial house keeping, getting on the housing ladder....then some fun with friends and cars....THEN it was social and looking for a lover/companion...
I'm having to come to terms with the fact it's me not them, in as much as I can't seem to make a relationship that lasts...
we'll see.
Good luck with your plan OP.... inspiring stuff.
Hello mate. Good thread. I’m now about 18 months into my reset and it’s involved so far disposing of a toxic relationship, taking up rowing, a fantastic exercise for the larger amongst us and recently making moves to make sure my day to day employment serves my mental health above my bank balance.
GloverMart said:
I'm 56 in two weeks time..
I'm obese, weighing in at more than 22 stone although I am 6'3" tall. I can lose weight simply by walking regularly and cutting down what I eat;
Similar here, only I have arthritis in my knees which can make long walks painful. Cycling can also be painful, and I'm not a good swimmer.I'm obese, weighing in at more than 22 stone although I am 6'3" tall. I can lose weight simply by walking regularly and cutting down what I eat;
As for your loneliness, I can understand you originally not wanting to introduce a new partner but your children are now old enough now for you to move on and try and find someone. A mate of mine was in a similar position and registered with eharmony dating site, added his details and criteria for a match, went on a date and they are now married. For our generation who met women on drunken nights out, the dating world has changed.
Another mate has having some success using Facebook dating (whilst trying to filter the bunny boilers) which I never knew existed.
Thanks all for the feedback and advice.
Fckitdriveon - will have a look at that, cheers for the tip.
bristolbaron - being that it is Facebook, that wouldn't surprise me!! Pleased I could inspire you though, hopefully by doing well and not because of me in my pants.
Quickmoose - thanks for the post, sounds like you're having to reboot when you don't really want to? Agree 100% with your order of doing things, I certainly can't consider a partner right now if only because for the short term, life is no less busy and any time I save is spent out walking. I wish you well.
Slowboathome, GoneabitAMG & Fusion777 - thanks for the kind words, much appreciated.
The Gauge - as I said above, although loneliness is an issue I don't feel like a partner would get the best of me right now. I'm financially still a little wobbly, the house is still a bit messy, I'm grossly overweight and I don't feel sufficiently "time rich" to make a relationship work right now. Thinking about it, I'm not sure the boys thoughts come into it much right now and if they do, it's a very small % as every other reason outweighs it.
As a mini update, went out for a 6.4 mile walk yesterday morning, got back home and received a WhatsApp message from a mate asking if I fancied a walk at 3pm. He's an ex pro footballer who comes out regularly with me, he brings his dog and we chat football, cricket and stuff for an hour or two. Always feel better for going out with him, so I agreed. Went for a shorter stroll with him, about 2.6 miles so will definitely be a shorter walk today as legs have gone.
Glad I made the effort though.
Fckitdriveon - will have a look at that, cheers for the tip.
bristolbaron - being that it is Facebook, that wouldn't surprise me!! Pleased I could inspire you though, hopefully by doing well and not because of me in my pants.
Quickmoose - thanks for the post, sounds like you're having to reboot when you don't really want to? Agree 100% with your order of doing things, I certainly can't consider a partner right now if only because for the short term, life is no less busy and any time I save is spent out walking. I wish you well.
Slowboathome, GoneabitAMG & Fusion777 - thanks for the kind words, much appreciated.
The Gauge - as I said above, although loneliness is an issue I don't feel like a partner would get the best of me right now. I'm financially still a little wobbly, the house is still a bit messy, I'm grossly overweight and I don't feel sufficiently "time rich" to make a relationship work right now. Thinking about it, I'm not sure the boys thoughts come into it much right now and if they do, it's a very small % as every other reason outweighs it.
As a mini update, went out for a 6.4 mile walk yesterday morning, got back home and received a WhatsApp message from a mate asking if I fancied a walk at 3pm. He's an ex pro footballer who comes out regularly with me, he brings his dog and we chat football, cricket and stuff for an hour or two. Always feel better for going out with him, so I agreed. Went for a shorter stroll with him, about 2.6 miles so will definitely be a shorter walk today as legs have gone.
Glad I made the effort though.
Good thread and look forward to future updates 
On the gym thing, it seems so many people think of the gym as somewhere to go and slog away miserably on some cardio exercise for 45 minutes.
Lift some weights, make your goal getting stronger and let the walking and so on handle your cardio.
I'm sure it's not for everyone, but picking up something heavy can be really rewarding, it's very easily measureable and in your first 6 months or so you'll make an enormous amount of progress which can be very motivating. Personally I find the "huge effort, short period of time" a lot more manageable and enjoyable than the "medium effort for 45 minutes" of running and so on. You really don't have to hate the gym, you may actually enjoy it.
There's so much information available on youtube and so on with guidance and such. There's a lot of noise but watch a variety of things and you'll get some idea. Again, a few personal trainer sessions as mentioned earlier in the thread perhaps to set you on the right path.
If you like a read, Starting Strength by Mark Rippertoe is a bit of an old classic, but realistically it's all you need and for a very solid foundation in getting stronger, which will help you stay active as you get older, and a bit of muscle can also help with how you feel about yourself aesthetically, and hide a bit of extra weight too. Maintaining muscle burns calories 24 hours a day too, so can help with your weight loss goals.
You're not going to turn into some sort of enormous hulk without years and years of extremely deliberate and focused effort, so don't be put off by the ridiculous fear some people seem to have that you're going to unwillingly look like a roided up body builder because you lifted a barbell for 20 minutes.
On the gym thing, it seems so many people think of the gym as somewhere to go and slog away miserably on some cardio exercise for 45 minutes.
Lift some weights, make your goal getting stronger and let the walking and so on handle your cardio.
I'm sure it's not for everyone, but picking up something heavy can be really rewarding, it's very easily measureable and in your first 6 months or so you'll make an enormous amount of progress which can be very motivating. Personally I find the "huge effort, short period of time" a lot more manageable and enjoyable than the "medium effort for 45 minutes" of running and so on. You really don't have to hate the gym, you may actually enjoy it.
There's so much information available on youtube and so on with guidance and such. There's a lot of noise but watch a variety of things and you'll get some idea. Again, a few personal trainer sessions as mentioned earlier in the thread perhaps to set you on the right path.
If you like a read, Starting Strength by Mark Rippertoe is a bit of an old classic, but realistically it's all you need and for a very solid foundation in getting stronger, which will help you stay active as you get older, and a bit of muscle can also help with how you feel about yourself aesthetically, and hide a bit of extra weight too. Maintaining muscle burns calories 24 hours a day too, so can help with your weight loss goals.
You're not going to turn into some sort of enormous hulk without years and years of extremely deliberate and focused effort, so don't be put off by the ridiculous fear some people seem to have that you're going to unwillingly look like a roided up body builder because you lifted a barbell for 20 minutes.
SturdyHSV said:
Good thread and look forward to future updates
On the gym thing, it seems so many people think of the gym as somewhere to go and slog away miserably on some cardio exercise for 45 minutes.
Lift some weights, make your goal getting stronger and let the walking and so on handle your cardio.
I'm sure it's not for everyone, but picking up something heavy can be really rewarding, it's very easily measureable and in your first 6 months or so you'll make an enormous amount of progress which can be very motivating. Personally I find the "huge effort, short period of time" a lot more manageable and enjoyable than the "medium effort for 45 minutes" of running and so on. You really don't have to hate the gym, you may actually enjoy it.
There's so much information available on youtube and so on with guidance and such. There's a lot of noise but watch a variety of things and you'll get some idea. Again, a few personal trainer sessions as mentioned earlier in the thread perhaps to set you on the right path.
If you like a read, Starting Strength by Mark Rippertoe is a bit of an old classic, but realistically it's all you need and for a very solid foundation in getting stronger, which will help you stay active as you get older, and a bit of muscle can also help with how you feel about yourself aesthetically, and hide a bit of extra weight too. Maintaining muscle burns calories 24 hours a day too, so can help with your weight loss goals.
You're not going to turn into some sort of enormous hulk without years and years of extremely deliberate and focused effort, so don't be put off by the ridiculous fear some people seem to have that you're going to unwillingly look like a roided up body builder because you lifted a barbell for 20 minutes.
Thanks Sturdy, some good advice there. I've been a gym member before but generally only for the cardio stuff although I did play with a few weights for a while, just light stuff really. On the gym thing, it seems so many people think of the gym as somewhere to go and slog away miserably on some cardio exercise for 45 minutes.
Lift some weights, make your goal getting stronger and let the walking and so on handle your cardio.
I'm sure it's not for everyone, but picking up something heavy can be really rewarding, it's very easily measureable and in your first 6 months or so you'll make an enormous amount of progress which can be very motivating. Personally I find the "huge effort, short period of time" a lot more manageable and enjoyable than the "medium effort for 45 minutes" of running and so on. You really don't have to hate the gym, you may actually enjoy it.
There's so much information available on youtube and so on with guidance and such. There's a lot of noise but watch a variety of things and you'll get some idea. Again, a few personal trainer sessions as mentioned earlier in the thread perhaps to set you on the right path.
If you like a read, Starting Strength by Mark Rippertoe is a bit of an old classic, but realistically it's all you need and for a very solid foundation in getting stronger, which will help you stay active as you get older, and a bit of muscle can also help with how you feel about yourself aesthetically, and hide a bit of extra weight too. Maintaining muscle burns calories 24 hours a day too, so can help with your weight loss goals.
You're not going to turn into some sort of enormous hulk without years and years of extremely deliberate and focused effort, so don't be put off by the ridiculous fear some people seem to have that you're going to unwillingly look like a roided up body builder because you lifted a barbell for 20 minutes.
So, an update after week two...
Health
Another three pounds gone this week meaning I've lost ten pounds in two weeks. Lost more than an inch on my height, think I must have slumped a little when it was weighing me. Pleased with that start, will hope to get near to the stone mark next week.
Walking
This week, I have got out every day and walked a total of 23.7 miles including a very long day on Thursday. Went out for a 6.4 mile walk along my local railway path & river, got back and was then WhatsApped by a mate who fancied a walk with his dog. This guy is an ex-pro footballer that lives about three miles from me and we usually walk to the top of a local steep hill & have a chat about footie and cricket. Love going out with him, he's great company but since I started full time work 13 months ago, our walks have dried up. So although I was knackered, agreed to a shorter walk and picked up a coffee on the way back, so clocked up a total of 9.1 miles that day.
Total steps for this week are 67k which includes that day of more than 20k. Achieved over 5k every day though.
Podcasts
Listened to one long form Diary of a CEO podcast this week.It was Jimmy Carr's first one he did which was quite an eye opener and as with the last time I heard it, rang many bells in my head. Super intelligent man but not without his issues, I should add. A great listen.
Home
As mentioned last week, this will be a quiet category in some weeks this week being one of them.
Money
Not much action here either to be honest.
Work
Did the three matches on Saturday which was a nice Brucie bonus at what is traditionally a quiet time of year. Was a long day leaving home before 8am and not getting back till after midnight but saw three good games. Have looked at applying for a different role with the football data company i work for too.
Social
Only social event this week was a podcast get together in Bristol. Two local football guys, both ex local players, started a podcast a couple of years ago and they recently celebrated their 100th guest (I was number 96 a few weeks back) so they had a little do - around 60 people turned up however all of them bar one was male and I've no idea why the woman was even there, someone's missus I think. No chance to practise my chatter so on we go again.
One of the girls at work is leaving next week so we have a meal + drinks on Friday night in Bristol which I'm looking forward to.
Health
Another three pounds gone this week meaning I've lost ten pounds in two weeks. Lost more than an inch on my height, think I must have slumped a little when it was weighing me. Pleased with that start, will hope to get near to the stone mark next week.
Walking
This week, I have got out every day and walked a total of 23.7 miles including a very long day on Thursday. Went out for a 6.4 mile walk along my local railway path & river, got back and was then WhatsApped by a mate who fancied a walk with his dog. This guy is an ex-pro footballer that lives about three miles from me and we usually walk to the top of a local steep hill & have a chat about footie and cricket. Love going out with him, he's great company but since I started full time work 13 months ago, our walks have dried up. So although I was knackered, agreed to a shorter walk and picked up a coffee on the way back, so clocked up a total of 9.1 miles that day.
Total steps for this week are 67k which includes that day of more than 20k. Achieved over 5k every day though.
Podcasts
Listened to one long form Diary of a CEO podcast this week.It was Jimmy Carr's first one he did which was quite an eye opener and as with the last time I heard it, rang many bells in my head. Super intelligent man but not without his issues, I should add. A great listen.
Home
As mentioned last week, this will be a quiet category in some weeks this week being one of them.
Money
Not much action here either to be honest.
Work
Did the three matches on Saturday which was a nice Brucie bonus at what is traditionally a quiet time of year. Was a long day leaving home before 8am and not getting back till after midnight but saw three good games. Have looked at applying for a different role with the football data company i work for too.
Social
Only social event this week was a podcast get together in Bristol. Two local football guys, both ex local players, started a podcast a couple of years ago and they recently celebrated their 100th guest (I was number 96 a few weeks back) so they had a little do - around 60 people turned up however all of them bar one was male and I've no idea why the woman was even there, someone's missus I think. No chance to practise my chatter so on we go again.
One of the girls at work is leaving next week so we have a meal + drinks on Friday night in Bristol which I'm looking forward to.
Edited by GloverMart on Wednesday 22 May 20:31
Health
Stayed the same this week which I'm not really surprised about.
Walking
Walking was well down at 17.2 miles and even some of that wasn't "boots on" walking. "Boots on" walking is what some people call the walking you do separately to your usual steps; so for instance, if I was to walk to my local Asda for some shopping, I'd count the walk there and back as "boots on" walking but trekking up and down the aisles wouldn't count. It's a minor thing really but it works for me.
Completed around 53k steps in total, again well down.
Podcasts
Had a music week this week, no podcasts. Most of my walks were down to the local heritage railway station and back, a distance of 2 miles. Just easier to get my head down and walk rather than faff around with headphones and then having to listen to the podcast in two halves.
Home
As mentioned last week, this will be a quiet category in some weeks this week being one of them.
Money
Not much action here either to be honest, only an unwelcome bill of £75 for some work on the car. The passenger side window has been faulty for a while and on Friday, it dropped down into the door. Had to go to football on Saturday as a bus w
ker.
Work
Potential job with stats company has been put on hold till after the Euros so that's a little in limbo. Applied for a driving job on Thursday working for PHS, same money I'm on but would get me out and about but heard back on Tuesday that my application was unsuccessful. If I have to wait a little longer for a role I'm really going to like, so be it. My current job pays £24k but involves a commute of 40 minutes - an hour and although company promised a 3/2 split in hybrid/office working, boss seems to be intent on making it 4/1 as often as possible.
Did my last two games of the season on Saturday and Sunday too.
Social
Went out on Friday night with the work folk as one of the girls was leaving. She chose to go to Eat The Bird, a burger joint where the food is fantastic but calorie filled doesn't do it justice. Had a chicken burger with fries AND cheeseburger fries too, couldn't eat it all. Was responsible by taking train into the city and back.
So although I haven't lost any weight this week, am feeling really positive. I'd have been pleased losing 10 pounds in 3 weeks anyway and I genuinely don't feel I've deprived myself of anything either. That said, my numbers were well down this week and I've not felt as well because of it.
Stayed the same this week which I'm not really surprised about.
Walking
Walking was well down at 17.2 miles and even some of that wasn't "boots on" walking. "Boots on" walking is what some people call the walking you do separately to your usual steps; so for instance, if I was to walk to my local Asda for some shopping, I'd count the walk there and back as "boots on" walking but trekking up and down the aisles wouldn't count. It's a minor thing really but it works for me.
Completed around 53k steps in total, again well down.
Podcasts
Had a music week this week, no podcasts. Most of my walks were down to the local heritage railway station and back, a distance of 2 miles. Just easier to get my head down and walk rather than faff around with headphones and then having to listen to the podcast in two halves.
Home
As mentioned last week, this will be a quiet category in some weeks this week being one of them.
Money
Not much action here either to be honest, only an unwelcome bill of £75 for some work on the car. The passenger side window has been faulty for a while and on Friday, it dropped down into the door. Had to go to football on Saturday as a bus w
ker. Work
Potential job with stats company has been put on hold till after the Euros so that's a little in limbo. Applied for a driving job on Thursday working for PHS, same money I'm on but would get me out and about but heard back on Tuesday that my application was unsuccessful. If I have to wait a little longer for a role I'm really going to like, so be it. My current job pays £24k but involves a commute of 40 minutes - an hour and although company promised a 3/2 split in hybrid/office working, boss seems to be intent on making it 4/1 as often as possible.
Did my last two games of the season on Saturday and Sunday too.
Social
Went out on Friday night with the work folk as one of the girls was leaving. She chose to go to Eat The Bird, a burger joint where the food is fantastic but calorie filled doesn't do it justice. Had a chicken burger with fries AND cheeseburger fries too, couldn't eat it all. Was responsible by taking train into the city and back.
So although I haven't lost any weight this week, am feeling really positive. I'd have been pleased losing 10 pounds in 3 weeks anyway and I genuinely don't feel I've deprived myself of anything either. That said, my numbers were well down this week and I've not felt as well because of it.
Still reading as well and cheering you on as you progress. Keep at it as it's worthwhile. The difference it's made to my life is immense and I could never go back to how I used to be. And thank you for introducing me to the "boots on" walking concept. I've always thought about my exercise in those terms and now I have an actual phrase for it.
I'll also echo StudyHSv comments about the gym and weights. Getting stronger is a good goal to have and gives you a more rounded exercise routine. You don't even have to go to a gym - dumbbells, kettlebells etc can all be picked up cheap as people sell off things that are now gathering dust since the pandemic. Aldi and Lidl are also good sources for very reasonably priced exercise equipment. There's lots of guides online as well
Keep going please
I'll also echo StudyHSv comments about the gym and weights. Getting stronger is a good goal to have and gives you a more rounded exercise routine. You don't even have to go to a gym - dumbbells, kettlebells etc can all be picked up cheap as people sell off things that are now gathering dust since the pandemic. Aldi and Lidl are also good sources for very reasonably priced exercise equipment. There's lots of guides online as well
Keep going please
ASA569 said:
Still reading as well and cheering you on as you progress. Keep at it as it's worthwhile. The difference it's made to my life is immense and I could never go back to how I used to be. And thank you for introducing me to the "boots on" walking concept. I've always thought about my exercise in those terms and now I have an actual phrase for it.
I'll also echo StudyHSv comments about the gym and weights. Getting stronger is a good goal to have and gives you a more rounded exercise routine. You don't even have to go to a gym - dumbbells, kettlebells etc can all be picked up cheap as people sell off things that are now gathering dust since the pandemic. Aldi and Lidl are also good sources for very reasonably priced exercise equipment. There's lots of guides online as well
Keep going please
I'll definitely consider the gym for sure, just maybe not quite yet. I'm a big fan of walking but even I can see that it could end up being very samey if I'm not careful.I'll also echo StudyHSv comments about the gym and weights. Getting stronger is a good goal to have and gives you a more rounded exercise routine. You don't even have to go to a gym - dumbbells, kettlebells etc can all be picked up cheap as people sell off things that are now gathering dust since the pandemic. Aldi and Lidl are also good sources for very reasonably priced exercise equipment. There's lots of guides online as well
Keep going please
There's an Active gym about three miles from where I live and another one maybe two miles from work. A membership that allows me to work out at both would be good & the money I'm saving in other areas would make the gym a good investment IMO. Since the beginning of May, I've stopped the subscription to the page turning software website (£22/month) and last week, I cancelled my website subscription for the club I was secretary of; that has saved me another £38/month so I'm quids in.
Looking forward to getting some decent walks in this weekend. Worked from home today (manager relented!) so got in a 6.5 mile walk by 8am, that was a result.
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