Do you have a useless superpower?

Do you have a useless superpower?

Author
Discussion

Don1

Original Poster:

15,965 posts

210 months

Sunday 12th May
quotequote all
As per the title. Do you have a crap super power?
Can you poo on command? Can you make any aftershave smell bad? Are you able to put fat on ten times faster than muscle? Do you have the muscle control to play a tune when you fart?

My rubbish super power is my fingernails grow faster than normal. How about you?

JerseyRoyal

117 posts

2 months

Sunday 12th May
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My testosterone is so powerful it scared all my hair away.

Voldemort

6,226 posts

280 months

Sunday 12th May
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I can, without fail, pick the slowest moving line at the supermarket tills.

Gnits

925 posts

203 months

Sunday 12th May
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I am invisible to bar staff.

Timothy Bucktu

15,310 posts

202 months

Sunday 12th May
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Voldemort said:
I can, without fail, pick the slowest moving line at the supermarket tills.
Ah, with age comes wisdom, clearly. My superpower is heading straight for the self service till, as I am certainly faster and more efficient than any dedicated till operative. Failing that, I can quickly assess the till operative and people in the queue. The ones with younger people in line, and the more Males the better. Women, and especially older Women are more likely to chat and have a coupon buried somewhere deep in their handbag, and pay in loose change.

Hugo Stiglitz

37,292 posts

213 months

Sunday 12th May
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I get walked into in the street, I get bullied swimming in communal swimming pool lanes and I'm jumped in the queue at any bar.

No honestly. The ability to blend in.

I'd be great at covert work.

laugh

Slowboathome

3,580 posts

46 months

Sunday 12th May
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Gnits said:
I am invisible to bar staff.
biglaugh

PlywoodPascal

4,377 posts

23 months

Sunday 12th May
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I can bore anyone I meet with 2 minutes of doing so.

Doofus

26,163 posts

175 months

Sunday 12th May
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Mention any subject, any subject at all, and I instantly know more about it than everyone else.

JerseyRoyal

117 posts

2 months

Sunday 12th May
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I can psychically tell that everyone is done with their food when the waiter asks at a restaurant.

PlywoodPascal

4,377 posts

23 months

Sunday 12th May
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Discendo Discimus said:
Not useless power, makes you natural moderator material

GAjon

3,742 posts

215 months

Sunday 12th May
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I can open a packet of annadins or similar and always, and I mean always , get the end with the paper slip in it.

HTP99

22,682 posts

142 months

Sunday 12th May
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Don1 said:
As per the title. Do you have a crap super power?
Can you poo on command? Can you make any aftershave smell bad? Are you able to put fat on ten times faster than muscle? Do you have the muscle control to play a tune when you fart?

My rubbish super power is my fingernails grow faster than normal. How about you?
See this interests me as I'm sure my nails grow really fast too, I always seem to be cutting them, my colleague reckons it is a sign of being healthy, I've Googled it to try and find out what it means, if anything, but nothing really comes up.

dudleybloke

19,974 posts

188 months

Sunday 12th May
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I can make anything look worse by painting it.

Honourable Dead Snark

435 posts

21 months

Sunday 12th May
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I can often forget what I was thinking half way through having the thought/ seconds later and will also wonder where an object is and start looking for it whilst I am already holding/wearing that very thing.

Most recent example is worrying I didn’t pick up the car key and left it somewhere like at home or in the office…whilst I’m driving…

Muddle238

3,927 posts

115 months

Sunday 12th May
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HTP99 said:
Don1 said:
As per the title. Do you have a crap super power?
Can you poo on command? Can you make any aftershave smell bad? Are you able to put fat on ten times faster than muscle? Do you have the muscle control to play a tune when you fart?

My rubbish super power is my fingernails grow faster than normal. How about you?
See this interests me as I'm sure my nails grow really fast too, I always seem to be cutting them, my colleague reckons it is a sign of being healthy, I've Googled it to try and find out what it means, if anything, but nothing really comes up.
I've given up Googling about my body. I got fed up of repeatedly being told by the computer that I only had 24 hours to live, regardless of the issue.

Long fingernails? 24 hours to live. Creaking knee? 24 hours. Ear ache? Sorry, that's 24 hours chap.

My superpower ability is to outlive all of these Google medical assessments.

Riley Blue

21,078 posts

228 months

Sunday 12th May
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When there's motorsport on TV I can put off having a pee until it's ov....... oh bugger!

Nethybridge

1,064 posts

14 months

Sunday 12th May
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For as long as I can remember I have predicted the exact date that christmas day will fall.


Monkeylegend

26,580 posts

233 months

Sunday 12th May
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Nethybridge said:
For as long as I can remember I have predicted the exact date that christmas day will fall.

Uncanny, I am the same with New Years day.