Most ridiculous/bizarre accusations
Discussion
Carlique said:
A couple of months back me and a few pals were walking back from the cinema to my place when all of a sudden a car, riding on its axel, pulls up next to us quite aggressively. the window gets wound down to this oaf of a man which resembled the 'lotto lout' screaming at us, calling us out for a fight, for staring and laughing at his wife, who was the absolute heffer of thing weighing the car down.
It was the one of the most random experiences I've ever had, literally came out of nowhere. We'd never seen them before in our lives.
The guy was clearly a nutter anyway for thinking a such a short arse overweight fool such as himself could come out on top in a fight against 5 young fit lads anyway.
I've had something similar. Last summer, minding my own business driving on the nearside lane of a dual carriageway, windows down, near Hatfield, driving just under the speed limit. Approached a roundabout with traffic lights which were on red, so stopped. I hear shouting coming from close by, and notice an orange Astra coupe alongside with it's windows down and the driver, a loud mouthed young lady going absolutely mental, screaming and punching the steering wheel, shouting so much she was spitting everywhere. I had a mate in the car, who thought her rage was funny. Her significant other in the passenger seat was telling her to calm down, as she was threatening me 'I'm going to fIt was the one of the most random experiences I've ever had, literally came out of nowhere. We'd never seen them before in our lives.
The guy was clearly a nutter anyway for thinking a such a short arse overweight fool such as himself could come out on top in a fight against 5 young fit lads anyway.
king kill you, you ' where her exact words. He then told me I'd better leave, as I'd 'done enough'. The lights turned green and off I went. I'd never seen either of them in my life before, and hadn't cut them up or anything as when I entered the dual carriageway there was no other traffic. Very strange one.
I had one situation in the Sagaris on a dual carriageway with a chap in an estate car brake testing me and being generally rather odd, and then when we pulled up at the lights remonstrate with me in quite vulgar terms about my irresponsible driving and how I could kill myself but not others, and how I was part of the female anatomy and given to pleasuring myself, and how he was going to report me. I calmly told him that he was wrong and that I was seriously considering phoning the police myself over his threatening behaviour. This didn't seem to calm him down much.
I can only presume that the Sagaris is a very aggressive looking car and it freaked him out somewhat. I had been pressing on until about half a mile behind him at which point I slowed considerably as I caught up with the group of cars he was in. Maybe he felt I came bombing up behind him, I don't know. I certainly don't feel that I did and I'm confident that any reasonable person would agree.
However, I probably didn't help matters by then pulling away rather vigorously when the lights changed and then at the next lights, noticing he was now behind me, moving off like a granny.
I think he may actually have burst a blood vessel at that point.
I can only presume that the Sagaris is a very aggressive looking car and it freaked him out somewhat. I had been pressing on until about half a mile behind him at which point I slowed considerably as I caught up with the group of cars he was in. Maybe he felt I came bombing up behind him, I don't know. I certainly don't feel that I did and I'm confident that any reasonable person would agree.
However, I probably didn't help matters by then pulling away rather vigorously when the lights changed and then at the next lights, noticing he was now behind me, moving off like a granny.
I think he may actually have burst a blood vessel at that point.
Edited by JonRB on Thursday 21st June 16:33
In primary school I was acused of being racist for calling an black lad stupid. I was suspended and everything!
I used to work in a takeaway when I was 18, one night I had to take the takings to the bosses house for him as he wasn't in that night. i got there, knock on the door, his wife answers and takes money.
The same night my mobile rings at 2am it's bosses wife.
Wife: "is he with you?"
Me: "excuse me, who's this?"
Wife: "Kieron's wife"
Me: "no he certainly isn't. Have you lost him?"
Wife: "cheeky bh, I know he's there"
Me: "I can assure you he's not, I am at home with my parents & I WAS asleep"
Wife: "he's cheating on me *Starts to cry*"
Me: "ok, bye"
I used to work in a takeaway when I was 18, one night I had to take the takings to the bosses house for him as he wasn't in that night. i got there, knock on the door, his wife answers and takes money.
The same night my mobile rings at 2am it's bosses wife.
Wife: "is he with you?"
Me: "excuse me, who's this?"
Wife: "Kieron's wife"
Me: "no he certainly isn't. Have you lost him?"
Wife: "cheeky b
h, I know he's there"Me: "I can assure you he's not, I am at home with my parents & I WAS asleep"
Wife: "he's cheating on me *Starts to cry*"
Me: "ok, bye"
I was 14 or so I think and in an art class at secondary school. The art teacher seemed to dislike me, even though I had never done anything to upset her. Anyhoo, we get separated into pairs and each pair sat at a table with a set of objects to draw, in our case it was an empty wine bottle and a bowl of fruit. Neil, the chap I was paired with, and I crack on with the task and end up with a couple of semi-decent looking pencil drawings (even if I say so myself). The end of the lesson came and the teacher came round to look at what we'd done. She started with Neil's giving him full-on praise of the use of reflections, shading, yadda yadda yadda. She then proceeded to look at mine..... absolutely no praise came from her mouth but in fact a torrent of abuse of how I had copied Neil's drawing! I was a little shocked at this and took a second to assess my situation before I calmly tried to tell her that how could I copy his when in fact we were looking at exactly the same objects. She was having none of it. Neil got an A, I got a C-......
Stupid, ugly, dwarfish,ing bint with moustache, cow of a teacher 
Stupid, ugly, dwarfish,
ing bint with moustache, cow of a teacher axgizmo said:
In primary school I was acused of being racist for calling an black lad stupid. I was suspended and everything!
Similar thing happened to me but for saying he smelled. And he did, but you couldn't say that because he was black. Made me very confused. You don't really think about the colour of someone at that age.bigrich4 said:
our case it was an empty wine bottle and a bowl of fruit.
As used by lazy art teachers since time immemorial around the globe. I seem to remember doing an oil painting of a similar subject somewhere around 1979 at which point I would have been 9 or 10. I have a feeling I still have it out in the garage somewhere. JonRB said:
As used by lazy art teachers since time immemorial around the globe. I seem to remember doing an oil painting of a similar subject somewhere around 1979 at which point I would have been 9 or 10. I have a feeling I still have it out in the garage somewhere.
Woah, you must have gone to a posh school to have used oils! 
bigrich4 said:
I was 14 or so I think and in an art class at secondary school. The art teacher seemed to dislike me, even though I had never done anything to upset her. Anyhoo, we get separated into pairs and each pair sat at a table with a set of objects to draw, in our case it was an empty wine bottle and a bowl of fruit. Neil, the chap I was paired with, and I crack on with the task and end up with a couple of semi-decent looking pencil drawings (even if I say so myself). The end of the lesson came and the teacher came round to look at what we'd done. She started with Neil's giving him full-on praise of the use of reflections, shading, yadda yadda yadda. She then proceeded to look at mine..... absolutely no praise came from her mouth but in fact a torrent of abuse of how I had copied Neil's drawing! I was a little shocked at this and took a second to assess my situation before I calmly tried to tell her that how could I copy his when in fact we were looking at exactly the same objects. She was having none of it. Neil got an A, I got a C-......
Stupid, ugly, dwarfish,ing bint with moustache, cow of a teacher
In my experience art teachers are universally mental and generally alcoholics. One was sacked from my school when I was fourteen for assaulting a lad in her class and the other ran off with a Geography teacher to set up a pottery.Stupid, ugly, dwarfish,
ing bint with moustache, cow of a teacher rohrl said:
In my experience art teachers are universally mental and generally alcoholics. One was sacked from my school when I was fourteen for assaulting a lad in her class and the other ran off with a Geography teacher to set up a pottery.
I agree with the mental, I also believe that she was doing the no-pants dance with one of the chemistry teachers at the time, he was a little turd too.....rohrl said:
In my experience art teachers are universally mental and generally alcoholics. One was sacked from my school when I was fourteen for assaulting a lad in her class and the other ran off with a Geography teacher to set up a pottery.
Absolutely, my one accused me of deliberately doing crap drawings, he wouldnt accept I really was that bad at drawing. I got regular punishment, detention etc.Some years later he left to go travelling with his full portfolio in his van, I couldn't help laughing when I heard the van caught fire about a day into his "journey" and was burnt out. I think he ended up as a mentaller. Or an alky. Possibly both.
Seems to be a common think with Art teachers then. I was never the best at drawing, but always had a good go at it. My Art teacher just didn't like me for some reason. She always critisised my work and generally ignored me.
I really don't know why, I wasn't a bad pupil or an annoying kid, just a normal, quiet lad. For whatever reason she just didn't like me.
At Primary school I was accused of punching a window through in a corridor. This 'urban myth' still exists between people who knew me at the time.
I was running down the corridor with no one else around, and as I ran I used the palm of my hand to bash the door open, and continued to run. The door swung open, hit the wall, bounced back and as it hit it's stoppers in the closed position, the window pane fell out.
When I relayed the story to a teacher, and then to friends, it somehow turned into me becoming angry one afternoon and punching the window through. Everyone was amazed that I had no injuries on my hand, and that I must be 'hard' to have come away unscathed.
I had to pay some pocket money towards the window replacement, and TBH, punching windows and getting no injuries does sound pretty cool as a kid.
I really don't know why, I wasn't a bad pupil or an annoying kid, just a normal, quiet lad. For whatever reason she just didn't like me.
At Primary school I was accused of punching a window through in a corridor. This 'urban myth' still exists between people who knew me at the time.
I was running down the corridor with no one else around, and as I ran I used the palm of my hand to bash the door open, and continued to run. The door swung open, hit the wall, bounced back and as it hit it's stoppers in the closed position, the window pane fell out.
When I relayed the story to a teacher, and then to friends, it somehow turned into me becoming angry one afternoon and punching the window through. Everyone was amazed that I had no injuries on my hand, and that I must be 'hard' to have come away unscathed.
I had to pay some pocket money towards the window replacement, and TBH, punching windows and getting no injuries does sound pretty cool as a kid.
Brigand said:
Seems to be a common think with Art teachers then. I was never the best at drawing, but always had a good go at it. My Art teacher just didn't like me for some reason. She always critisised my work and generally ignored me.
I really don't know why, I wasn't a bad pupil or an annoying kid, just a normal, quiet lad. For whatever reason she just didn't like me.
At Primary school I was accused of punching a window through in a corridor. This 'urban myth' still exists between people who knew me at the time.
I was running down the corridor with no one else around, and as I ran I used the palm of my hand to bash the door open, and continued to run. The door swung open, hit the wall, bounced back and as it hit it's stoppers in the closed position, the window pane fell out.
When I relayed the story to a teacher, and then to friends, it somehow turned into me becoming angry one afternoon and punching the window through. Everyone was amazed that I had no injuries on my hand, and that I must be 'hard' to have come away unscathed.
I had to pay some pocket money towards the window replacement, and TBH, punching windows and getting no injuries does sound pretty cool as a kid.
I really don't know why, I wasn't a bad pupil or an annoying kid, just a normal, quiet lad. For whatever reason she just didn't like me.
At Primary school I was accused of punching a window through in a corridor. This 'urban myth' still exists between people who knew me at the time.
I was running down the corridor with no one else around, and as I ran I used the palm of my hand to bash the door open, and continued to run. The door swung open, hit the wall, bounced back and as it hit it's stoppers in the closed position, the window pane fell out.
When I relayed the story to a teacher, and then to friends, it somehow turned into me becoming angry one afternoon and punching the window through. Everyone was amazed that I had no injuries on my hand, and that I must be 'hard' to have come away unscathed.
I had to pay some pocket money towards the window replacement, and TBH, punching windows and getting no injuries does sound pretty cool as a kid.
Quality.I had a sort of similar thing, although nothing came of it for me...
Our school tuck shop had a hatch, and either side of the hatch there were two windows.
The queue to the hatch went along one side, so you were standing in front of one of the windows until you got to the hatch.
One of the School idiots walked past, saw me, and decided to give me some s
t. I wasn't bullied at school, but there were one or two mentalists that would just single out random people now and again to wind up.Anyway, his idea of giving me a hard time was to start at the other side of the corridoor, lower his head, and run at me full pelt. I just quickly stepped backwards two feet, and his thick head went right through the window
How he didn't sever his jugular, I'll never know. He copped it for that - IIRC he got a week's suspension! He never went near me again
I got pulled over by a traffic cop at a speed trap on a twisty road in North Yorkshire whilst out for a razz on a YZF750 Yamaha. I'd snuck past a car about a mile away and as I was finishing the overtake a car coming the other way started flashing his lights so I presumed it was to warn me of police. So I came down the hill at 59.5 mph and the plod launches himself into the road and stops me. Which confused me a little.
"I saw you over take that Nova up there (which I had) that's double white lines (which it was) "
"But I didn't cross the white lines (which I hadn't)" I replied
"Doesn't matter, it's still illegal (which it isn't)" he continued "I'm going to give you a fixed penalty notice" ( he damn well wasn't)
After about 5 mins of arguing he strolled over to his hidden Scooby, got out his Highway Code book, found the relevant paragraph, read it (following with his finger and mouthing the words)
after realising he was either:-
a - wrong
b - not going to be able to pin me with a bullst fixed penalty even though he knew I was right but it put his figures up
he said "I am unable to deal with this matter at this time, on your way"....the prick
The thing which confused me was he pulled the Nova at the same time and I heard him ask the driver if he'd seen me cross the lines and the Nova guy said no, if it didn't matter why'd he ask?
"I saw you over take that Nova up there (which I had) that's double white lines (which it was) "
"But I didn't cross the white lines (which I hadn't)" I replied
"Doesn't matter, it's still illegal (which it isn't)" he continued "I'm going to give you a fixed penalty notice" ( he damn well wasn't)
After about 5 mins of arguing he strolled over to his hidden Scooby, got out his Highway Code book, found the relevant paragraph, read it (following with his finger and mouthing the words)
after realising he was either:-
a - wrong
b - not going to be able to pin me with a bulls
t fixed penalty even though he knew I was right but it put his figures uphe said "I am unable to deal with this matter at this time, on your way"....the prick
The thing which confused me was he pulled the Nova at the same time and I heard him ask the driver if he'd seen me cross the lines and the Nova guy said no, if it didn't matter why'd he ask?
UnderTheRadar said:
Back on topic (not for long, I guess...
)
A relative of mine was driving home at night at the end of his shift when he spotted a young lady trying to hitch-hike. Being in a looking after people kind of job he feared for her safety and stopped and offered to drive her home. After a mile she said "unless you give me £50 I'll report you to the police for rape" He replied that he didn't have £50 on him and he'd have to go back into town to get it. When he pulled up at the police station and identified himself as PC whatever, go ahead and report me - suddenly the passenger seat was empty
He'd picked up a ghost? )A relative of mine was driving home at night at the end of his shift when he spotted a young lady trying to hitch-hike. Being in a looking after people kind of job he feared for her safety and stopped and offered to drive her home. After a mile she said "unless you give me £50 I'll report you to the police for rape" He replied that he didn't have £50 on him and he'd have to go back into town to get it. When he pulled up at the police station and identified himself as PC whatever, go ahead and report me - suddenly the passenger seat was empty
Edited by UnderTheRadar on Wednesday 20th June 22:15
The police stopped me in a street late at night and said they had reports of me running around naked and being abusive. I had just turned up to pick up my brother and was sober. They soon realised it couldn't of been me and I chipped in with well not tonight anyway officers.
I have been accused of using too much highlighter ink at work by the stationary executive key holder, I use them to highlight important sentances in our reports and proceedured that we are supposed to read.
I have been accused of using too much highlighter ink at work by the stationary executive key holder, I use them to highlight important sentances in our reports and proceedured that we are supposed to read.
Just about to take the bike out one morning (Honda 750) when a police bike with all the flashing and noisy bits pulls up blocking the gate. He jumped off and went completely mental about how he'd been chasing me for the last half hour and only got left behind as he wasn't prepared to do three figures plus in a built up area.
I politely explained that it wasn't me, I hadn't been anywhere etc. To no avail, the guy was apoplectic and repeated the accusations this time with his nose about 2mm in front of mine and I, even more politely repeated my denial.
At which point he took off his glove and grabbed one the exhaust headers, put his helmet back on and departed without another word.
Thank god I hadn't yet started the bike, things may have got custodial.
I politely explained that it wasn't me, I hadn't been anywhere etc. To no avail, the guy was apoplectic and repeated the accusations this time with his nose about 2mm in front of mine and I, even more politely repeated my denial.
At which point he took off his glove and grabbed one the exhaust headers, put his helmet back on and departed without another word.
Thank god I hadn't yet started the bike, things may have got custodial.
When I was 18, I left the pub with my two mates and just round the corner from my house a cop car drove past and very quickly turned round a couple seconds later. By this time I was on my own and thought "nah surely not for me!" Right enough they came racing up to me and got out immediatly.
Cop - where have you been?
Me - Evening how are you? Ive been to the pub with my 2 mates (not cheekily mind just politeness)
Cop -Oh dear! Well we have have just had a call from the pub you were in and you look like the person who just broke into a car there 5 mins ago and now we have to check you for sharps, needles and tvs (!!!)
WTF!! Got patted down details taken and told on my way. No apology.
Similar happened when out with my brother and mate when I was 14/15. We got accused of havin the intentions of firing fireworks at our PE teachers house as we were walking past it. Turns out it had happened the night before and police were patrolling. All 3 of us patted down (Bro was 12 so I felt it abit innapropriate) for for Illegaly concealing fireworks.
Funniest accusation (police again) was when i was followed for a mile and pulled with my fiancee for questioning as to why we were parked up down the beach (eating supper) they thought I was drug pedalling or dogging!!
Promise im not bad! Haha
Cop - where have you been?
Me - Evening how are you? Ive been to the pub with my 2 mates (not cheekily mind just politeness)
Cop -Oh dear! Well we have have just had a call from the pub you were in and you look like the person who just broke into a car there 5 mins ago and now we have to check you for sharps, needles and tvs (!!!)
WTF!! Got patted down details taken and told on my way. No apology.
Similar happened when out with my brother and mate when I was 14/15. We got accused of havin the intentions of firing fireworks at our PE teachers house as we were walking past it. Turns out it had happened the night before and police were patrolling. All 3 of us patted down (Bro was 12 so I felt it abit innapropriate) for for Illegaly concealing fireworks.
Funniest accusation (police again) was when i was followed for a mile and pulled with my fiancee for questioning as to why we were parked up down the beach (eating supper) they thought I was drug pedalling or dogging!!
Promise im not bad! Haha
Swifty Stig said:
Funniest accusation (police again) was when i was followed for a mile and pulled with my fiancee for questioning as to why we were parked up down the beach (eating supper) they thought I was drug pedalling or dogging!!
That annoys me more than the others. If they had spotted you at the beach looking suspicious why didn't they go up to you there and then?If you were doing something untoward you would have been arrested there and then.
Following someone around for a mile(s) is a complete waste of time, and they constantly complain about cuts!
Edited by AndrewEH1 on Friday 22 June 10:06
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