Not wanting kids

[saleen836]

Have tried to search but odly enough it is down for repair!

Was having a conversation last night with Mrs Saleen regarding wanting kids or not, it isn't set in stone that I don't want kids but if I never have any it wouldn't bother me, now the reason for this thread is in the past I dated a lady who had a kid. For all those on here who are adamant you do not want kids are you currently or have you dated a person who already had/has a child/children?

If so where do you see it going and if you have been together for a long time do you treat the kid as your own?
If you do treat the child as your own what is it that makes you not want a kid of your own?

Just curious

[J4CKO]

How old are you ?

I knwo a couple that both said they never wanted them, she was investigating sterilisation then, next thing, not seen them for ages and they had two kids.

Dont do anything irreversible !

I hadnt really given it much thought and one day, on honeymoon she announced she felt sick, I knew she was pregnant, well, was pretty sure, she had convinced me it wouldnt happen so easily, would take ages and was practically almost looking into IVF then, bang, first one arrives nine months after the wedding.

[god'sunwantedkid]

The world is over populated.

[Mr Pies]

Can't stand children, definitely dont want them, would not date a woman with children.

[miniman]

Mr Pies said:

Can't stand children, definitely dont want them, would not date a woman with children.

I'm sure they will all, without exception, be devastated

[Mr Pies]

miniman said:

I'm sure they will all, without exception, be devastated

I think so.
Should have added, I hate kittens, puppies and cute little rabbits also

[Mobile Chicane]

I'm not keen on children and have never wanted my own.

However I wouldn't mind (too much) inheriting someone else's, provided they were well-mannered, financially independent, and not around all the time.

[miniman]

Mr Pies said:

miniman said:

I'm sure they will all, without exception, be devastated

I think so.
Should have added, I hate kittens, puppies and cute little rabbits also

I'm with you on that.

[SebastienClement]

Another toe for do not want here. Definitely do not want.

I have a godson. He'll do. I can I've him back when he becomes annoying.

[King Herald]

Having had my share of women who miraculously got pregnant despite taking all precautions, I had no plans to have children. I had no plans to get married either, but at the age of 40 I finally acquiesced to take a wench into wedlock. We had been together for six years already, so it was not a sudden 'crisis' type thing.

A year later we decided to have a child. So, 41 years old, new baby, it must have been be hell, huh?

Nope, I was happy as a pig in a pile of faeces.

Now the sweet young thing is eleven years old, going on 18, and it is getting decisively hard to feel the same unconditional love for her as I once did, with the moods, the sulks, the smart mouth etc....

[s p a c e m a n]

I'm 34 and have never particularly wanted one of my own, I'm definitely not going to go out of my way to have one. I've dated quite a few girls with children and most of my friends have them, the best bit about that is you only get the fun stuff. Toddlers up until early teens are fun, I don't want to get involved with tantrums and changing stty nappies though.

For all the good reasons people keep on telling me, I can't help but look around and see that the majority of fathers I come into contact with are disappointed with the way that their child/family has turned out. They still love them to bits but sort of wished that they hadn't bothered. For that reason I am out

[Doofus]

I've never really wanted kids. I was married before, and they were probably on the inevitable horizon. Got divorced, met someone else, got married, and she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body. No problem for me.

I'm now in my early - alright - mid forties, and I've begun to wonder if I've been missing out.

I'm not going to do anything drastic or stupid; I've made my choices. But I now think that if I'd made different choices, my life would be equally fulfilled.

[croyde]

Just spotted this after failing to deal adequately with one of my tweens getting into a major strop whilst my eldest is trying to get her homework done. I sometimes feel these days that if I had my time again I would have put my foot down or left when the now ex suggested kids.

The baby, toddler, nursery and infants stage is great but now I appear to have a house full of the most selfish creatures on Earth who only think about themselves and have milked me for every penny and will continue to do so for another decade.

I might feel better in the morning.

[Vieste]

Bloody hard question you have asked saleen836.

[Art0ir]

No interest at all. Sometimes I see a young dad with his son on his shoulders and question my position, but soon remind myself how much has been given up for that experience.

I might think differently in another decade. Maybe.

[ADM06]

I don't want kids in the foreseeable future, and don't see the point of putting effort into preserving someone else's DNA. I am only 24 though.

[rossub]

From personal experience (13 years of it), unless you actually like kids and want to form some kind of fatherly relationship with those that are not our own, then don't get together with a woman that has one/them already.

Hers is now 24 and we're still stuck with him living at home, sponging to some extent and there's no hope of that changing any time soon.

To be frank, if I knew he'd be living at home until his mid twenties (potentially++), I wouldn't have got involved. Life would be fine if he would just wise up, get a proper job and move out!

[DJFish]

I always liked the idea of kids but was put off by the practicalities.

Now I have them and wouldn't change it for the world but I still respect those who choose not to have them, much better than having them, only to decide that parenthood isn't for you...

I have a very good friend who has inherited a couple of kids, whilst he'll never have his own I think they come a pretty close second.

Edited by DJFish on Wednesday 15th May 21:28

[King Herald]

s p a c e m a n said:

For all the good reasons people keep on telling me, I can't help but look around and see that the majority of fathers I come into contact with are disappointed with the way that their child/family has turned out. They still love them to bits but sort of wished that they hadn't bothered. For that reason I am out

Seriously, you are not wrong. Once they get past 8 or so the whole world seems to have to revolve around them.

My mum told me that she dotes on her grand kids, and great grand kids, and there are loads, but once they get past about 8 they start to change and are just not the loving fun happy creatures they once were.

You have to work hard to try and keep on the good side of them.

I spent several £grand taking my daughter to Singapore for a long weekend last year, after hearing about it repeatedly, how she wanted to go there.

Out of the basic three days we were there I managed to get her out of the hotel for two of the days. First afternoon, and both evenings were spent in bed watching TV in the hotel room.

No she complains she doesn't like Singapore...

Along with the wife whining about wanting a new car, after I've just spent £100,000 building us a new house, I sometimes feel like just cutting loose and leaving them to sort their own st out! Then they can do what the fk they want to do.

[Bradgate]

I have always known that I definitely didn't want kids. I am not anti-children, I don't dislike them, and I do understand that having kids is the norm, but I am not most people, and fatherhood is not for me.

Fortunately, I met the right woman and we are quite happy with our choices.

Be true to yourself, and don't have kids that you don't want just because it's the norm, or the 'done thing'.

Edited by Bradgate on Wednesday 15th May 21:41