Chasing money from ex partner.
Discussion
Due to my naivety last year I agreed to pay my ex partner's tuition fees for this year, which amounted to £5500. The reason being if you paid it in one lump sum there was a small discount. The intention was that she would pay me back in 3 installments as her loan came in.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and out of the blue, to me anyway, I got the "I don't know what I want anymore" talk. She's paid me back 2 installments but still owes me circa £1800. She will have received her student loan today and I'm 95% sure no money will be forthcoming although I'll give it a week to see.
Is this something I could go to the small claims court with? Nothing was written down as despite warning signs I'm too trusting so not holding out much hope.
Despite trying to keep it on speaking terms that has now conveniently gone south too.
TIA.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and out of the blue, to me anyway, I got the "I don't know what I want anymore" talk. She's paid me back 2 installments but still owes me circa £1800. She will have received her student loan today and I'm 95% sure no money will be forthcoming although I'll give it a week to see.
Is this something I could go to the small claims court with? Nothing was written down as despite warning signs I'm too trusting so not holding out much hope.
Despite trying to keep it on speaking terms that has now conveniently gone south too.
TIA.
so you had the I don't know what I want talk.....so tell her what you want......money back.
Was it a gift or a loan. The fact that she has paid some back would indicate a loan and performance in terms of she is paying it back. Thus I think you would be believed if went to court on it.
Was it a gift or a loan. The fact that she has paid some back would indicate a loan and performance in terms of she is paying it back. Thus I think you would be believed if went to court on it.
ChocolateFrog said:
Due to my naivety last year I agreed to pay my ex partner's tuition fees for this year, which amounted to £5500. The reason being if you paid it in one lump sum there was a small discount. The intention was that she would pay me back in 3 installments as her loan came in.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and out of the blue, to me anyway, I got the "I don't know what I want anymore" talk. She's paid me back 2 installments but still owes me circa £1800. She will have received her student loan today and I'm 95% sure no money will be forthcoming although I'll give it a week to see.
Is this something I could go to the small claims court with? Nothing was written down as despite warning signs I'm too trusting so not holding out much hope.
Despite trying to keep it on speaking terms that has now conveniently gone south too.
TIA.
If you have nothing written down it's very hard to prove unless you have lots of texts / emails.Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and out of the blue, to me anyway, I got the "I don't know what I want anymore" talk. She's paid me back 2 installments but still owes me circa £1800. She will have received her student loan today and I'm 95% sure no money will be forthcoming although I'll give it a week to see.
Is this something I could go to the small claims court with? Nothing was written down as despite warning signs I'm too trusting so not holding out much hope.
Despite trying to keep it on speaking terms that has now conveniently gone south too.
TIA.
Depends how badly you need the 1800 quid back as to whether or not you proceed with the courts.
Hello To answer a few questions.
Yes it was a loan, the benefit being it saved her a small amount paying it all in a lump sum.
We were not ex's when I leant the money and had no reason to believe we would be any time soon.
It is a lot of money to me and although I'll survive fine without it its still a lot of money.
Only other tie is she has all my furniture, again borrowed to furnish an unfurnished rental after I sold my house.
I must have mug tattooed on my forehead!
Yes it was a loan, the benefit being it saved her a small amount paying it all in a lump sum.
We were not ex's when I leant the money and had no reason to believe we would be any time soon.
It is a lot of money to me and although I'll survive fine without it its still a lot of money.
Only other tie is she has all my furniture, again borrowed to furnish an unfurnished rental after I sold my house.
I must have mug tattooed on my forehead!
ChocolateFrog said:
To answer a few questions.
Yes it was a loan, the benefit being it saved her a small amount paying it all in a lump sum.
We were not ex's when I leant the money and had no reason to believe we would be any time soon.
It is a lot of money to me and although I'll survive fine without it its still a lot of money.
Only other tie is she has all my furniture, again borrowed to furnish an unfurnished rental after I sold my house.
I must have mug tattooed on my forehead!
You are not a mug. She may have taken you for a bit of a ride but that's not a negative on you. I hear what the others have said but do believe you would have a favourable outcome if you went to court on it from the fact she has paid you back some of the funds which would not be disputed. Yes it was a loan, the benefit being it saved her a small amount paying it all in a lump sum.
We were not ex's when I leant the money and had no reason to believe we would be any time soon.
It is a lot of money to me and although I'll survive fine without it its still a lot of money.
Only other tie is she has all my furniture, again borrowed to furnish an unfurnished rental after I sold my house.
I must have mug tattooed on my forehead!
Has she stopped communicating with you?
ChocolateFrog said:
To answer a few questions.
Yes it was a loan, the benefit being it saved her a small amount paying it all in a lump sum.
We were not ex's when I leant the money and had no reason to believe we would be any time soon.
It is a lot of money to me and although I'll survive fine without it its still a lot of money.
Only other tie is she has all my furniture, again borrowed to furnish an unfurnished rental after I sold my house.
I must have mug tattooed on my forehead!
Blaming kind and caring people for getting taken for a ride leads to a society of selfish, paranoid assholes. Don't let anyone blame you for being a good person. Yes it was a loan, the benefit being it saved her a small amount paying it all in a lump sum.
We were not ex's when I leant the money and had no reason to believe we would be any time soon.
It is a lot of money to me and although I'll survive fine without it its still a lot of money.
Only other tie is she has all my furniture, again borrowed to furnish an unfurnished rental after I sold my house.
I must have mug tattooed on my forehead!
Step 1: Remind her politely that she still owes you £1800 and agree a payment date. Preferably do this via text message, hopefully so that she accepts the debt exists in writing, and agrees the payment date.
Step 2: Collect together any other evidence in preperation. If no payment received when agreed, threaten court.
Step 3: Take it to small claims court. Balance of probabilities is how it works so if you can prove her fees were £5400, and she's already made 2 payments of £1800 to you, the court would probably decide on balance of probabilities, she owes you the final payment.
Try to focus on resolving it at Step 1 though.
To echo what has been said above - you're not a mug for going out of your way to be financially supportive to your (then) partner. Quite the opposite in fact.
You could chalk this up to the rich tapestry of life (in particular - relationship ebbs and flows) or you could persue the repayments. Only you can really know how accommodating she is, how likely she is to pay it off without continued prompting, etc. In court, as already said, the fact that she has been making repayments would indicate that it was a loan and not a gift - but ultimately if she doesn't have the means to pay it won't really change anything.
Don't beat yourself up over it though.
You could chalk this up to the rich tapestry of life (in particular - relationship ebbs and flows) or you could persue the repayments. Only you can really know how accommodating she is, how likely she is to pay it off without continued prompting, etc. In court, as already said, the fact that she has been making repayments would indicate that it was a loan and not a gift - but ultimately if she doesn't have the means to pay it won't really change anything.
Don't beat yourself up over it though.
) then perhaps blur her name at the top of the window too?
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