Is this inappropriate behavior?
Discussion
Skimming through this I can't see if the age of the children is mentioned? I think this does make a difference.
Society has moved towards the belief that touching others genitals is inappropriate unless for medical reasons or it is consenting adults so those in authority are often over sensitised to genitals of those n their care being touched.
From the description the OP has given, the primary issue to address is the brawl but as is sometimes the case where over sensitised subject matter is involved, the person in authority has made the wrong call.
I'm not sure what the OP can do about it as they are unlikely to change their minds and admit that they were wrong.
Society has moved towards the belief that touching others genitals is inappropriate unless for medical reasons or it is consenting adults so those in authority are often over sensitised to genitals of those n their care being touched.
From the description the OP has given, the primary issue to address is the brawl but as is sometimes the case where over sensitised subject matter is involved, the person in authority has made the wrong call.
I'm not sure what the OP can do about it as they are unlikely to change their minds and admit that they were wrong.
TooMany2cvs said:
Surely there's a simple way to determine if you're happy with your kid doing this...
If you had a daughter of that age, and she came home saying one of the boys had grabbed her there, what would your reaction be?
I don't think it's as simple as this but I can see where you are coming from.If you had a daughter of that age, and she came home saying one of the boys had grabbed her there, what would your reaction be?
More needs to be taken into consideration such as the kids ages and expected awareness.
Pistom said:
TooMany2cvs said:
Surely there's a simple way to determine if you're happy with your kid doing this...
If you had a daughter of that age, and she came home saying one of the boys had grabbed her there, what would your reaction be?
I don't think it's as simple as this but I can see where you are coming from.If you had a daughter of that age, and she came home saying one of the boys had grabbed her there, what would your reaction be?
More needs to be taken into consideration such as the kids ages and expected awareness.
Gavia said:
It’s exactly that simple. Your earlier post about their age is irrelevant. From the moment kids become socially aware they should understand which bits are private for them and others. Why you’re suggesting otherwise is weird, especially trying to blend it on society, if anything society has helped in this.
Beavers are 6 (or 5 3/4?) - 8 years old. At the younger end, they should know. At the older end they definitely should know. 5 is still quite young for boundaries and social awareness.
At that age they basically just want to do whatever they've been told not to do. Defiant little sh*ts......
Not going to tell my kids they can't do stuff (like swearing), I just want them to understand when it's appropriate and when it's not.
Kids these days won't do as they're told, telling them not to do something is like daring them to do it. There are too many bad influences on kids TV, like that f**king TV show "Malcolm in the middle" or as I prefer to call it "your not the boss of me".
Still, I think to get kicked out of beavers, you'd have to do a bit more than described.
Vaud said:
Beavers are 6 (or 5 3/4?) - 8 years old. At the younger end, they should know. At the older end they definitely should know.
5 is still quite young for boundaries and social awareness.
Your points seem to contradict themselves. Maybe not fully socially aware, but kids learn very quickly once they start to be left in situations where there are many of them of the same age that the world no longer revolves around them. As you say though, they should be aware that it’s not acceptable. 5 is still quite young for boundaries and social awareness.
creampuff said:
I remember when I was in primary school, kids were always kicking each other in the nuts. I wouldn’t read much into it.
This isn’t about kicking in the nuts, it’s about grabbing there and apparently it doesn’t matter to the lad whether it’s a boy or a girl that he’s grabbing. SVTRick said:
Outside in a park, jackets off and punch the s
t out of each other.
Beavers lol.
Get your kid into the local boxing or martial arts / judo club,
Join local Rugby club, great for team building and more.
Then he will grow a pair and get some respect.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-37923133t out of each other.Beavers lol.
Get your kid into the local boxing or martial arts / judo club,
Join local Rugby club, great for team building and more.
Then he will grow a pair and get some respect.
For me, that's a better outcome for my kids than being some sad, martial arts fantasist.
To the OP, as a Cub Scout leader, I would count this as inappropriate behaviour from all three involved and it would need addressing. I would be unlikely to suspend a young person following a one-off incident, particularly if there was provocation, but I would flag it with the parents to make sure they could reinforce that it wasn't acceptable behaviour.
Gavia said:
Vaud said:
Beavers are 6 (or 5 3/4?) - 8 years old. At the younger end, they should know. At the older end they definitely should know.
5 is still quite young for boundaries and social awareness.
Your points seem to contradict themselves. Maybe not fully socially aware, but kids learn very quickly once they start to be left in situations where there are many of them of the same age that the world no longer revolves around them. As you say though, they should be aware that it’s not acceptable. 5 is still quite young for boundaries and social awareness.
That said, I have a 5 year old who knows it is very naughty to hit, and you should go and talk to an adult/teacher/carer, but kids vary.
Vaud said:
No, I was nuanced. Should versus definitely should know. A nearly 6 year old may not discriminate where they hit someone because they don't have the awareness or physiological understanding. An 8 year old probably still doesn't grasp the physiological but would have the social understanding.
That said, I have a 5 year old who knows it is very naughty to hit, and you should go and talk to an adult/teacher/carer, but kids vary.
Hitting isn’t great, but kids will be kids. Agree thatbparents should domall they can to dissuade itThat said, I have a 5 year old who knows it is very naughty to hit, and you should go and talk to an adult/teacher/carer, but kids vary.
Hitting in the private parts is an absolute no-no and should be immediately stopped
Grabbing down there is something that should never have happened and that’s the part of this thread that seems to be getting blurred.
The OP seems a bit vague on whether he punched or grabbed, but the fact that there’s uncertainty which it was is far from ideal.
Zigster said:
To the OP, as a Cub Scout leader, I would count this as inappropriate behaviour from all three involved and it would need addressing. I would be unlikely to suspend a young person following a one-off incident, particularly if there was provocation, but I would flag it with the parents to make sure they could reinforce that it wasn't acceptable behaviour.
This to me would have been a better way of dealing with the situation.Gavia said:
It’s exactly that simple. Your earlier post about their age is irrelevant. From the moment kids become socially aware they should understand which bits are private for them and others. Why you’re suggesting otherwise is weird, especially trying to blend it on society, if anything society has helped in this.
I bet those saying "Nah, too young" would regard kids of this age groups as more than old enough to know the difference between an adult helper holding their hand and an adult having a crafty grope...Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff