My mother has turned in to an 'old person' driver.

My mother has turned in to an 'old person' driver.

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Discussion

KTF

Original Poster:

9,788 posts

149 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Due to a recent bereavement, my son and I have decamped to my parents house. As he was at nursery today and I don't have much to do at the moment so I went to Tesco with my mum to do the weekly food shopping.

She has a new(ish) car and even though I offered to drive, she wanted to do it otherwise she would never get used to the car.

Anyway, we get in the car and suddenly I realise that she has turned in to one of these 'old person' drivers that wind everyone else up!

After she adopted the 'praying mantis' seating position I realised that something was going to be very different since she last drove me around - multiple decades at least.

And so it transpired, dithering at roundabouts, stopping well short of the line at traffic lights, completely ignoring the lanes at roundabouts, forcing the car in to first gear before it had come to a stop, random use of the indicators plus a few other things I can't remember during the short 5 mile trip.

No harm was done (except maybe to my blood pressure and first gear on the car). Anyway, it occured to me, is this like a 'thing' that happens to everyone? Suddenly you wake up and drive like this (a bit like you go in to M&S and think those corduroy trousers look really smart) or does it sneak up on you over time and you don't really realise?

I don't really know where I am going with this other than my eyes have been opened and I must remember what her new car looks like so I don't inadvertently end up honking at it should I find her in front of me in the near future.

blue_haddock

3,143 posts

66 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Cool story bro!

georgefreeman918

592 posts

98 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Noticed this with my father recently, when my brother and I went out with him for the day where he drove.

He hasn't adopted the seating position yet, but he refuses to do more than 45mph on all NSL roads, which resulted in a number of comments relating to how much of a rush everyone else was in and a large number of overtakes.

He has recently retired, so technically I suppose he has no need to rush anywhere!

james_TW

16,287 posts

196 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Yep - This is my mum and she's 69. But she's never been the most confident driver and at less than 5ft tall, it's always been a challenge for her - Dithering is standard and overtakes (even of tractors - and living in rural Lincolnshire, there are many) are rare.

I drive her places when I'm there, but she knows that her driving isn't the best, at least, and uses public transport as much as she can - And living in rural Lincolnshire, this is a challenge. But when she does drive: Be somewhere else...

Good luck, is all I can say...

KTF

Original Poster:

9,788 posts

149 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
quotequote all
blue_haddock said:
Cool story bro!
Like I say, I am off work at the moment so need something to fill my day.

warch

2,941 posts

153 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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I imagine a lot of old people dread driving because they'll end up getting abused by some antagonistic bloke in a hurry.

stinkyspanner

701 posts

76 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Oh st, my Mum came to stay last week and I had to move her car. When I got in it I thought she had moved her seat and steering wheel into a weird position but didn't really give it any further thought. Now I read this and I'm thinking has she turned into a preying mantis?

richs2891

895 posts

252 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Do you have a non family member or know a good driving instructor that can go out with her and sit and offer some gentle advice on her driving ?

I did this with my mum about a year ago after noticing some of the above - excuse I used was I had a driver assessment at work / whatever is believable and I found it was beneficial as it identified me driving 1 handed a bit too much.

CubanPete

3,630 posts

187 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Following my Mum (74) back from somewhere.

My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.


Frimley111R

15,537 posts

233 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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My mum isn't this bad but the less she drives the less confidence she has. She won't drive long distances now which isn't really an issue and locally she drives fine, a bit slow, but only a bit. Perhaps like your mum, she was never a greatly confident driver anyway. She had 2 minor accidents which knocked her confidence but i told her loads of us have these and she seems ok again.

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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My mum is 80. Was always a good confident driver. She avoids driving at night now since she had her cataracts done as the lights dazzle her. And won't go long distances, because of back ache more than anything. Also will only drive autos now. But she still buzzes around town and seems pretty ok, if no Lewis Hamilton.

Dog Star

16,079 posts

167 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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As I've got older I have actually slowed down - I don't mean doing 40 in NSLs, or setting off slowly at lights - I'm prompt and don't hold people up.

But it does eventually dawn on you that going as fast as you can everywhere - especially if there are traffic lights anywhere on your route - generally means your rushing makes no difference to your journey time at all. Trust me, it doesn't. Having "one of those days" where you get every light on red - that makes far more difference.

Also - not driving balls out everywhere tends to make you fly under the radar of idiots; I look at aggressive drivers with noisy exhausts now and just think they look and sound like bellends. You realise - despite the whinging of the sort of people on PH who think that over 60s need to have retests - that there's a reason why older folk have dirt cheap insurance.

SkodaIan

706 posts

84 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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CubanPete said:
Following my Mum (74) back from somewhere.

My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.
That reminds me of trying to follow my father in law (78) around his local rural roads.

The main problem was he kept overtaking people when there was no chance I'd be able to get through too. By the time I'd reached the next suitable place to overtake, it took some seriously 'spirited' driving to catch him up!

SturdyHSV

10,083 posts

166 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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I noticed this happened around about when my Mum hit 60.

Not so much the mantis position, but the general 40mph everywhere, leaving indicators on, slightly inconsiderate lane positioning thing.

It'll probably happen to me too, it's not like I'm going to be the only person in the world who doesn't deteriorate when they get old hehe Enjoy your youth beer

Oxford1971

102 posts

58 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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My dad is 84, and driving for 50 years.

He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!

Pothole

34,367 posts

281 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
She uses a holiday booking website to slow her vehicle down? amazing!

RSTurboPaul

10,219 posts

257 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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IIRC the IAM do an 'older driver assessment' which could be useful.

I'm considering getting one for my old man, seeing as he seems to be getting a lot less relaxed at driving than he used to be.

ColdoRS

1,796 posts

126 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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Oxford1971 said:
My dad is 84, and driving for 50 years.

He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!
My grandad is the same.

A farmer from the west of Scotland. Likes to go to markets and sheepdog trials around the country but couldn’t possibly have a whole night away from the farm! Instead bombs down the M74/M6 at 95mph for 4+ hours, then back again at night when his business is done. My dad and uncles often tell him to stop driving so far or to stay over and take it easy but I’m in the ‘if he enjoys it and is fit, why not let him crack on’ camp. He’s mid 80’s too.


tight fart

2,868 posts

272 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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My mum had a bump in the car in March, police asked her to do a driving test / assessment to keep her license.
90 minute drive with a police officer and another examiner.
She passed with flying colours, she’s 90 in 2 weeks.

unsprung

5,467 posts

123 months

Wednesday 20th November 2019
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CubanPete said:
Following my Mum (74) back from somewhere.

My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.
Oxford1971 said:
My dad is 84, and driving for 50 years.

He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!
laugh . hehe

These two had me issuing an audible chuckle, partly for the stories and partly for the way in which they're told.