"Classic Car Rescue" Channel 5 on Mon 24th Sep 20:00
Discussion
Utterly dreadful wasn't it! I quite like Wheeler Dealers, this really ought to have been good, but no, it was just inexplicable shouting and unnecessary damage! Why did the cockney bloke feel the need to shout all the bleedin' time!?
Would quite liked to have given them a 'restoration' about as good as the one they gave the car.
If that sounds odd then I mean punch repeatedly and ban from going near cars with tools.
Would quite liked to have given them a 'restoration' about as good as the one they gave the car.
If that sounds odd then I mean punch repeatedly and ban from going near cars with tools.
I see everyone has had a right good go at panning this show. I decided to invest an hour of my time last night to give it a fair chance. I watched every minute of it. So, I'll feel completely within my rights to comment too...
The presenters:
What in the name of holy f
k are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.
The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete fking .
The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute st.
My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU fkING RETARDS. fking cobblers.
Cut to bald parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car.
Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft, error after error.
The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing st that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.
The presenters:
What in the name of holy f
k are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete f
king .The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute s
t. My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU f
kING RETARDS. fking cobblers.Cut to bald
parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car. Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft
, error after error.The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing s
t that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.It all makes you wonder who the show is aimed at. Real enthusiasts will have "seen through" the thing and won't watch it any more,, and the casual viewer has so much choice with satellite TV that they'll probably think it's a specialist programme, and won't watch it anyway. I'm guessing the viewing figures will be so low they won't make a second series.
I don't usually bother to watch this type of programme anyway - they're made on a limited budget and aimed at folks who don't know their arse from their elbow. I watched the first two episodes of that Sky "history of Britain" thingy, but deleted the series link. It's obviously aimed at 10/12 year olds. Numpty-TV.
I don't usually bother to watch this type of programme anyway - they're made on a limited budget and aimed at folks who don't know their arse from their elbow. I watched the first two episodes of that Sky "history of Britain" thingy, but deleted the series link. It's obviously aimed at 10/12 year olds. Numpty-TV.
Perhaps it Was aimed at people who " Lack an intelligent disposition" ?? God it was awfull.
I cant beleive he really paid 12 grand for that thing..... Surely not ??
But with his supposed budget the Only E Type he could have bought was the Ugly Duckling Series 2 Two plus Two and an Auto .... Good grief , how did the poor Original E Type Ever be allowed to evolve into that !
I cant beleive he really paid 12 grand for that thing..... Surely not ??
But with his supposed budget the Only E Type he could have bought was the Ugly Duckling Series 2 Two plus Two and an Auto .... Good grief , how did the poor Original E Type Ever be allowed to evolve into that !
neutral 3 said:
Perhaps it Was aimed at people who " Lack an intelligent disposition" ?? God it was awfull.
I cant beleive he really paid 12 grand for that thing..... Surely not ??
But with his supposed budget the Only E Type he could have bought was the Ugly Duckling Series 2 Two plus Two and an Auto .... Good grief , how did the poor Original E Type Ever be allowed to evolve into that !
Did I mis-hear or was there something about an E-type being a big car and most people wouldn't be able to drive it so they gave it independent rear suspension?I cant beleive he really paid 12 grand for that thing..... Surely not ??
But with his supposed budget the Only E Type he could have bought was the Ugly Duckling Series 2 Two plus Two and an Auto .... Good grief , how did the poor Original E Type Ever be allowed to evolve into that !
What was the Canadian bloke's role in the whole thing? Why was he there at all?
I also liked the way the bald one slagged off the area the white E-Type was stored in. God it was a dreadful programme. Who was it aimed at?
benjj said:
I see everyone has had a right good go at panning this show. I decided to invest an hour of my time last night to give it a fair chance. I watched every minute of it. So, I'll feel completely within my rights to comment too...
The presenters:
What in the name of holy fk are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.
The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete fking .
The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute st.
My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU fkING RETARDS. fking cobblers.
Cut to bald parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car.
Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft, error after error.
The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing st that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.
I must commend your full and fair review of said programme. Ever thought of doing reviews full-time?The presenters:
What in the name of holy f
k are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete f
king .The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute s
t. My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU f
kING RETARDS. fking cobblers.Cut to bald
parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car. Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft
, error after error.The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing s
t that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.benjj said:
I see everyone has had a right good go at panning this show. I decided to invest an hour of my time last night to give it a fair chance. I watched every minute of it. So, I'll feel completely within my rights to comment too...
The presenters:
What in the name of holy fk are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.
The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete fking .
The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute st.
My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU fkING RETARDS. fking cobblers.
Cut to bald parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car.
Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft, error after error.
The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing st that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.
This (always wanted to say that!)The presenters:
What in the name of holy f
k are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete f
king .The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute s
t. My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU f
kING RETARDS. fking cobblers.Cut to bald
parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car. Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft
, error after error.The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing s
t that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.
benjj said:
I see everyone has had a right good go at panning this show. I decided to invest an hour of my time last night to give it a fair chance. I watched every minute of it. So, I'll feel completely within my rights to comment too...
The presenters:
What in the name of holy fk are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.
The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete fking .
The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute st.
My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU fkING RETARDS. fking cobblers.
Cut to bald parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car.
Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft, error after error.
The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing st that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.
Well done Ben, you've summed it up beautifully. Have forwarded your wonderfully accurate critique to Points of View, and TV critic guides within The Times, Independent, Telegraph and Guardian.The presenters:
What in the name of holy f
k are these two clowns doing on TV? Several years ago I got food poisoning after a curry in Manchester. The pints of fetid yellow water that I passed during that horrific night had more talent than these two absolute wasters. The fat cockney bald one was like a Lock Stock reject, the red lipped North American joker would be more at home eating aerosol cheese than presenting a 'factual' car programme.The car:
Who in their right mind would buy a knackered 2+2 Auto? I'll tell you who; a complete f
king .The 'restoration':
AAAAAARRRRRRGH. BODGE BODGE BODGE. Absolute s
t. My 4 year old daughter brought home some of her school artwork yesterday. We all smiled and told her how great it was but we all recognised just how talentless she is with a paint brush. That was until I saw the masking and overspray on the Jag. THE TYRES WERE RED YOU f
kING RETARDS. fking cobblers.Cut to bald
parading around some East End slum like he is a low budget Don Corleone. Cut to the 'old mucker' who has a crate full of old E-Type parts readily available for a 'hand'. Cut to the rubber lipped yank making some urgent phonecall. Lets just hope it was to his agent asking for a one way ticket to Kabul to perform a stage version of that Danish cartoonists life work. £6.5k budget for paint, bodywork, 6 full time mechanics etc. I absolutely pissed myself laughing when the costs were given at the end. It was just lies. They had obviously spent way more than they suggested and, guess what, the car was still absolutely st at the end of it. I wouldn't let these two spastic oafs near my lawnmower, let alone an actual car. Misc other grumbles:
The narrator was a daft
, error after error.The editing was horrible, shots grafted together backwards and forwards in time.
The RM bloke doing the valuation must have been concussed at time of filming, what a dribbling snatch.
In summary: the very worst car show I have ever watched, and that inclused all the American yee-hawing s
t that they put on Discovery Turbo at 3am on a Wednesday.Apparently they're 'restoring' a 911 next week...heaven help us
http://www.channel5.com/shows/classic-car-rescue/e...
Here is a snapshot of next week's 911 'restoration'
Wet Lipped Yank: "Hot diggety donut, lets go get us a real life Jagwar XKE'
Fat Cockney: "You slaaag, we did that last week innit."
Wet Lipped Yank: "Holy makeroly good buddy, I know that, its just that we know what were doing now and, well, hot dawg if it aint just peachy fun."
Fat Cockney: "That doesn't make sense you farking noodle, I'll take you dahn Hackerney, a top bloke mate of mine has got some pork we need to have a butcherz at."
Wet Lipped Yank: "Well I'll be dipped in doo doo, a real life Porsher Nine Hundred Eleven? Hot diggety damn."
[insert 47 minutes of shouting and cack...]
Fat Cockney: "Well we finished the car in 8 hours at a total cost of £800. Now some top geeza from Bonhams is comin' ovah to value it."
Wet Lipped Yank: (looks nervous)
Bonhams Appraiser: "I'm terribly sorry chaps but it appears you are a complete shower of fking st. This car is ruined and is worth fk all. My wife is a commissioning editor for Channel 5 and I'm going to tell her that I'm leaving her if they don't cancel this fking travesty of a show, poste haste. Good day to you both."
Fat Cockney: Lummy.
[credits roll]
Wet Lipped Yank: "Hot diggety donut, lets go get us a real life Jagwar XKE'
Fat Cockney: "You slaaag, we did that last week innit."
Wet Lipped Yank: "Holy makeroly good buddy, I know that, its just that we know what were doing now and, well, hot dawg if it aint just peachy fun."
Fat Cockney: "That doesn't make sense you farking noodle, I'll take you dahn Hackerney, a top bloke mate of mine has got some pork we need to have a butcherz at."
Wet Lipped Yank: "Well I'll be dipped in doo doo, a real life Porsher Nine Hundred Eleven? Hot diggety damn."
[insert 47 minutes of shouting and cack...]
Fat Cockney: "Well we finished the car in 8 hours at a total cost of £800. Now some top geeza from Bonhams is comin' ovah to value it."
Wet Lipped Yank: (looks nervous)
Bonhams Appraiser: "I'm terribly sorry chaps but it appears you are a complete shower of f
king st. This car is ruined and is worth fk all. My wife is a commissioning editor for Channel 5 and I'm going to tell her that I'm leaving her if they don't cancel this fking travesty of a show, poste haste. Good day to you both."Fat Cockney: Lummy.
[credits roll]
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