How to Achieve Driving Zen

[j4r4lly]

aero250 said:

buy a Jag. relaxing while the fools are out. great to drive when there's opportunity

Yes I get this as I had a Jaguar XF for a while and I found that by the time I arrived home I was pretty chilled out and not particularly bothered by the shenanigans around me.

[GetCarter]

Where I live (and one of the main reasons I moved here) there is no traffic before 7:30 a.m. and almost none before 10 a.m. (April to October).

So we do all our driving before 10 a.m. to miss all the fkwits that have no idea how to drive on single track roads.

November to March, we have the place to ourselves.

= easy Zen. Many hours without seeing another car.

[JP18]

I haven’t even been driving 2 years and find many other drivers frustrating. My instructor always reinforced the importance of making reasonable progress, proceeding confidently and keeping left unless overtaking. Every time I’ve been on the motorway people are all over the place, sitting in the middle lane then just pulling out at the last minute. If i can manage it as such an ‘inexperienced’ driver why can’t people who have been going 10/20 + years do it? My parents find these behaviours similarly annoying but seem to have resigned themselves to just putting up with it.
Also it’s already been mentioned but trying to drive as smoothly as possible or hypermiling seems the best way to keep calm.

[vonhosen]

j4r4lly said:

Some interesting responses so thanks for that.

I'm not specifically talking about speed as I like to make progress but usually drive within the speed limit.

It's more about the people who drift around a roundabout in no specific lane and with no signal, people who fail to signal at all, who arrive at every junction and stop and then start looking to see if it's all clear (lack of anticipation) people who speed through a 30 limit at 38 and then continue at the same speed in the 60mph road and get irritated when you pass them. People who drift along a slip road at 45mph and then force their way onto the road they are joining causing braking and evasive action, leaving all the people following them struggling to join the faster road. People with poor lane discipline on dual carriageways and those that tailgate, people being ever so helpful and stopping to let someone out of a side turning despite the fact that the road is blocked on the other side so now we are all stuck.......... I could go on and on and on as the list is endless and I really think I have a bit of a problem........ lol.

Your expectations are unrealistic given what you are dealing with.
You can't change how the people are going to act, however you can change your outlook/actions so that your emotional response to that stimulus is different.
You need to 'frame' things differently & look at the world through a different lens.

[j4r4lly]

JP18 said:

I haven’t even been driving 2 years and find many other drivers frustrating. My instructor always reinforced the importance of making reasonable progress, proceeding confidently and keeping left unless overtaking. Every time I’ve been on the motorway people are all over the place, sitting in the middle lane then just pulling out at the last minute. If i can manage it as such an ‘inexperienced’ driver why can’t people who have been going 10/20 + years do it? My parents find these behaviours similarly annoying but seem to have resigned themselves to just putting up with it.
Also it’s already been mentioned but trying to drive as smoothly as possible or hypermiling seems the best way to keep calm.

The Gov't did make a half hearted attempt to deal with this a year or two ago but with the lack of traffic police it's simply not possible. There were also many people wining that "weaving" from lane to lane was dangerous and it was safer to simply park the car in the middle and trundle along regardless. Maybe instead of the endless messages on the overhead gantries saying "Don't Drive Tired" etc, they should occasionally show a "Keep Left Unless Overtaking" statement which may have some effect......... may.

[Bumblebee7]

Prizam said:

I found getting a motorbike helped, you can just get on with it. Though it's a bit risky these days.

I was going to suggest the same thing. The level of incompetency and general bad driving towards motorcyclists is completely constant. You spend so much time trying not to be killed by the muppets on the roads that you stop taking it personally. Now when I see a biker yelling at a car driver I just think to myself that they must be a summer warrior as if I acted like that on my daily commute I'd have some serious issues with high blood pressure and I'd never get anywhere on time.

[j4r4lly]

vonhosen said:

j4r4lly said:

Some interesting responses so thanks for that.

I'm not specifically talking about speed as I like to make progress but usually drive within the speed limit.

It's more about the people who drift around a roundabout in no specific lane and with no signal, people who fail to signal at all, who arrive at every junction and stop and then start looking to see if it's all clear (lack of anticipation) people who speed through a 30 limit at 38 and then continue at the same speed in the 60mph road and get irritated when you pass them. People who drift along a slip road at 45mph and then force their way onto the road they are joining causing braking and evasive action, leaving all the people following them struggling to join the faster road. People with poor lane discipline on dual carriageways and those that tailgate, people being ever so helpful and stopping to let someone out of a side turning despite the fact that the road is blocked on the other side so now we are all stuck.......... I could go on and on and on as the list is endless and I really think I have a bit of a problem........ lol.

Your expectations are unrealistic given what you are dealing with.
You can't change how the people are going to act, however you can change your outlook/actions so that your emotional response to that stimulus is different.
You need to 'frame' things differently & look at the world through a different lens.

I totally appreciate this as I know my expectations are unrealistic and to a large extent I try to ignore it. However, I struggle to completely tune out to blatant incompetence and as per my OP, it definitely seems to be on the increase. I find singing to myself and concentrating on driving as smoothly as possible is a good distraction........ unless my wife is in the car and she tells me to shut up!!!

[vonhosen]

j4r4lly said:

JP18 said:

I haven’t even been driving 2 years and find many other drivers frustrating. My instructor always reinforced the importance of making reasonable progress, proceeding confidently and keeping left unless overtaking. Every time I’ve been on the motorway people are all over the place, sitting in the middle lane then just pulling out at the last minute. If i can manage it as such an ‘inexperienced’ driver why can’t people who have been going 10/20 + years do it? My parents find these behaviours similarly annoying but seem to have resigned themselves to just putting up with it.
Also it’s already been mentioned but trying to drive as smoothly as possible or hypermiling seems the best way to keep calm.

The Gov't did make a half hearted attempt to deal with this a year or two ago but with the lack of traffic police it's simply not possible. There were also many people wining that "weaving" from lane to lane was dangerous and it was safer to simply park the car in the middle and trundle along regardless. Maybe instead of the endless messages on the overhead gantries saying "Don't Drive Tired" etc, they should occasionally show a "Keep Left Unless Overtaking" statement which may have some effect......... may.

It realistically doesn't matter how many traffic Police you throw at it.
The system being created through 'the rules' breeds drivers who aren't going to want to move around a lot. Drivers get used to driving with lots of vehicles close to one another travelling at similar speeds (with a relatively small spread of speeds). The drivers take the path of least resistance & effectively give up keeping left because it's harder work & causes them more problems on their journey. It then becomes their ingrained behavioural norm even when traffic is lighter.
Areas of the country that see less congestion don't result in the 'new' ingrained behaviour & see better lane discipline.

Oh & the gantries do occasionally say "Keep Left Unless Overtaking' but they also occasionally say "Stay In Lane".

[Dog Star]

AC43 said:

Dog Star said:

One lesson that I have learned above all others toward not getting irritated is to never ever be in a hurry.

Yes;

(a) never be in a hurry
(b) get an E Class
(c) relax

Funny you should say that. Guess what I drive

[MikeT66]

I have to admit to being like the OP. When I had my Ford Puma with non-existant air-con there were a lot of frustrations - it was a nippy, fine-handling car which made slower drivers an irritant, and being stuck in traffic in hot weather wasn't great, either.

Changed now to a little IQ (not that there's a big one, of course). Comfy seats, lovely A/C, six-speaker stereo that's perfect for soothing classical music - it's like sitting in your own personal stereo system, given the car's dimensions. Overall, a much nicer place to be than the Puma. Plus, as it's not exactly fast, I know I'm never going anywhere in a hurry... a bit like a canal boat.

Idiots with no traffic/road sense and blocking their vision with sat-navs/phones, or updating their social medai wkfest ("driving home from work, busy day, looking forward to a beer, lols") still monumentally p*sses me right off, but the mood soon passes now..

I'd also add one of the main things - try never to be late. Leave early, give plenty of time, and a lot of the stress disappears.

[dan98]

vonhosen said:

Your expectations are unrealistic given what you are dealing with.
You can't change how the people are going to act, however you can change your outlook/actions so that your emotional response to that stimulus is different.
You need to 'frame' things differently & look at the world through a different lens.

Agreed with this.
Cars give a faux-sense of control...with that comes expectation of the world around, particularly for those who may already feel a deficit of control or power in their lives.
The consequence is inevitable frustration when this meets the reality of chaos and imperfection.

Modern cars seem to get relentlessly tighter / harder, more accurately controllable. Combine that with aggressive styling and adrenaline-fuelled image, it's not easy to see where road-rage starts.

My most pleasant UK driving experiences have been in floaty / wafty / worn out old things - actual comfort is possible, combined with a lack of control which is relaxing and ultimately far more enjoyable IMO. Add cruise control and a decent stereo - perfection
Not to mention, you'll get there in the same time as everybody else.

[j4r4lly]

vonhosen said:

j4r4lly said:

JP18 said:

I haven’t even been driving 2 years and find many other drivers frustrating. My instructor always reinforced the importance of making reasonable progress, proceeding confidently and keeping left unless overtaking. Every time I’ve been on the motorway people are all over the place, sitting in the middle lane then just pulling out at the last minute. If i can manage it as such an ‘inexperienced’ driver why can’t people who have been going 10/20 + years do it? My parents find these behaviours similarly annoying but seem to have resigned themselves to just putting up with it.
Also it’s already been mentioned but trying to drive as smoothly as possible or hypermiling seems the best way to keep calm.

The Gov't did make a half hearted attempt to deal with this a year or two ago but with the lack of traffic police it's simply not possible. There were also many people wining that "weaving" from lane to lane was dangerous and it was safer to simply park the car in the middle and trundle along regardless. Maybe instead of the endless messages on the overhead gantries saying "Don't Drive Tired" etc, they should occasionally show a "Keep Left Unless Overtaking" statement which may have some effect......... may.

It realistically doesn't matter how many traffic Police you throw at it.
The system being created through 'the rules' breeds drivers who aren't going to want to move around a lot. Drivers get used to driving with lots of vehicles close to one another travelling at similar speeds (with a relatively small spread of speeds). The drivers take the path of least resistance & effectively give up keeping left because it's harder work & causes them more problems on their journey. It then becomes their ingrained behavioural norm even when traffic is lighter.
Areas of the country that see less congestion don't result in the 'new' ingrained behaviour & see better lane discipline.

Oh & the gantries do occasionally say "Keep Left Unless Overtaking' but they also occasionally say "Stay In Lane".

I can see your point but having driven abroad fairly regularly, have seen better observed lane discipline as a rule.

I think a lot of it is due to the consistent message that "speed kills" and alomost no focus on much else other than the seasonal drink drive messages and more recently, texting and driving. Many people seem to think that as long as they plod along at, or under the speed limit, then the rest of it (anticipation, observation, courtesy, lane discipline etc) is not on their radar.

[j4r4lly]

dan98 said:

vonhosen said:

Your expectations are unrealistic given what you are dealing with.
You can't change how the people are going to act, however you can change your outlook/actions so that your emotional response to that stimulus is different.
You need to 'frame' things differently & look at the world through a different lens.

Agreed with this.
Cars give a faux-sense of control...with that comes expectation of the world around, particularly for those who may already feel a deficit of control or power in their lives.
The consequence is inevitable frustration when this meets the reality of chaos and imperfection.

Modern cars seem to get relentlessly tighter / harder, more accurately controllable. Combine that with aggressive styling and adrenaline-fuelled image, it's not easy to see where road-rage starts.

My most pleasant UK driving experiences have been in floaty / wafty / worn out old things - actual comfort is possible, combined with a lack of control which is relaxing and ultimately far more enjoyable IMO. Add cruise control and a decent stereo - perfection
Not to mention, you'll get there in the same time as everybody else.

So, in essence you are saying that I'm a basket case and need to chill out!!!

Interesting theory regarding the sense of control and the chaos and imperfection of reality.

[j4r4lly]

MikeT66 said:

I'd also add one of the main things - try never to be late. Leave early, give plenty of time, and a lot of the stress disappears.

I'm very rarely running late and much prefer to leave early and then have time to relax once I've arrived. Fortunately, my wife is also a good timekeeper unlike my friend who will be late for his own funeral!

[dan98]

j4r4lly said:

So, in essence you are saying that I'm a basket case and need to chill out!!!

Interesting theory regarding the sense of control and the chaos and imperfection of reality.

No more a basket case than most other people : )
Infact kudos to you for staying in touch with yourself enough to recognise and start addressing it.

[vonhosen]

j4r4lly said:

vonhosen said:

j4r4lly said:

JP18 said:

I haven’t even been driving 2 years and find many other drivers frustrating. My instructor always reinforced the importance of making reasonable progress, proceeding confidently and keeping left unless overtaking. Every time I’ve been on the motorway people are all over the place, sitting in the middle lane then just pulling out at the last minute. If i can manage it as such an ‘inexperienced’ driver why can’t people who have been going 10/20 + years do it? My parents find these behaviours similarly annoying but seem to have resigned themselves to just putting up with it.
Also it’s already been mentioned but trying to drive as smoothly as possible or hypermiling seems the best way to keep calm.

The Gov't did make a half hearted attempt to deal with this a year or two ago but with the lack of traffic police it's simply not possible. There were also many people wining that "weaving" from lane to lane was dangerous and it was safer to simply park the car in the middle and trundle along regardless. Maybe instead of the endless messages on the overhead gantries saying "Don't Drive Tired" etc, they should occasionally show a "Keep Left Unless Overtaking" statement which may have some effect......... may.

It realistically doesn't matter how many traffic Police you throw at it.
The system being created through 'the rules' breeds drivers who aren't going to want to move around a lot. Drivers get used to driving with lots of vehicles close to one another travelling at similar speeds (with a relatively small spread of speeds). The drivers take the path of least resistance & effectively give up keeping left because it's harder work & causes them more problems on their journey. It then becomes their ingrained behavioural norm even when traffic is lighter.
Areas of the country that see less congestion don't result in the 'new' ingrained behaviour & see better lane discipline.

Oh & the gantries do occasionally say "Keep Left Unless Overtaking' but they also occasionally say "Stay In Lane".

I can see your point but having driven abroad fairly regularly, have seen better observed lane discipline as a rule.

I think a lot of it is due to the consistent message that "speed kills" and alomost no focus on much else other than the seasonal drink drive messages and more recently, texting and driving. Many people seem to think that as long as they plod along at, or under the speed limit, then the rest of it (anticipation, observation, courtesy, lane discipline etc) is not on their radar.

Anti speeding is a message delivered throughout Europe & I regularly drive/ride all over Europe. The financial penalties in a lot of other European countries are far more draconian than here.

Drivers are a product of the prevalent driving culture to a large degree.

I've said it before, the culture here is changing. We have an awful lot of drivers driving in a very congested part of what are small islands anyway & their environment plus the traffic management/enforcement policies will shape how they view the activity.

The traffic management/enforcement policies are creating (if you like & for want of a better description) a 'USA culture' of everybody getting in a lane that is moving at the pace you want to move at & staying there. Small spreads of speed & congestion (in addition to the policies) promote that. Wide spreads of speed & less congestion promotes a different culture of keeping left/right & we can call that the 'German culture'. The greater the number of drivers we have driving at or close to the speed limit, the less lane movement I think you are going to see.

We are moving away from a German model to a USA model.

Edited by vonhosen on Tuesday 30th July 12:52

[Johnnytheboy]

dan98 said:

Agreed with this.
Cars give a faux-sense of control...with that comes expectation of the world around, particularly for those who may already feel a deficit of control or power in their lives.
The consequence is inevitable frustration when this meets the reality of chaos and imperfection.

Modern cars seem to get relentlessly tighter / harder, more accurately controllable. Combine that with aggressive styling and adrenaline-fuelled image, it's not easy to see where road-rage starts.

My most pleasant UK driving experiences have been in floaty / wafty / worn out old things - actual comfort is possible, combined with a lack of control which is relaxing and ultimately far more enjoyable IMO. Add cruise control and a decent stereo - perfection
Not to mention, you'll get there in the same time as everybody else.

I was going to pooh-pooh this idea that the car changes your mood but it's true. I have two cars, ostensibly similar in that they are both 300 hp ish hatchback-based cars.

Golf Estate R (auto) - can drive very fast, but seems to be happiest poodling along with the traffic flow.

Focus RS mk2 - even if I'm not in any kind of rush, it wants to start a fight with everything around it, including its driver.

[mikeiow]

dan98 said:

Agreed with this.
Cars give a faux-sense of control...with that comes expectation of the world around, particularly for those who may already feel a deficit of control or power in their lives.
The consequence is inevitable frustration when this meets the reality of chaos and imperfection.

Modern cars seem to get relentlessly tighter / harder, more accurately controllable. Combine that with aggressive styling and adrenaline-fuelled image, it's not easy to see where road-rage starts.

My most pleasant UK driving experiences have been in floaty / wafty / worn out old things - actual comfort is possible, combined with a lack of control which is relaxing and ultimately far more enjoyable IMO. Add a decent adaptive cruise control and a decent stereo - perfection
Not to mention, you'll get there in the same time as everybody else.

Fixed that for you!

Seriously - my XC60 is a pretty smooth wafty thing, & the extra height on motorways helps see more ahead.... but the adaptive cruise just makes traffic so much more tolerable, both motorway & town driving.

As to the very many awful van drivers we all see....I just thank my lucky stars I'm not driving them, smile and listen to more Smooth Radio
(actually, more likely Radio X, or sometimes a talkie station like 5)

[j4r4lly]

dan98 said:

j4r4lly said:

So, in essence you are saying that I'm a basket case and need to chill out!!!

Interesting theory regarding the sense of control and the chaos and imperfection of reality.

No more a basket case than most other people : )
Infact kudos to you for staying in touch with yourself enough to recognise and start addressing it.

I need to do something as I'm really tired of hearing myself droning on and it achieves nothing.

[Car-Matt]

Once you learn to accept and believe the fact that trying to drive fast(er) in heavy traffic has little or no bearing on arrival time then most journeys can be relaxing, provided you learn to spot the idiots and avoid them where possible ( and not let them spoil your day by getting 'involved' with them in any way shape or form)