Throwing in the towel
Discussion
Mammasaid said:
3 years ago I was working 100 miles from home, living in a hotel for 3 nights a week, and coming home exhausted every weekend.
Then was offered redundancy, with 7 months wages. Best thing that ever happened. Now working 5 minutes from home, see my daughter (and wife!) every day, and am a much nicer person for it. I get to do all the nice things, like take her to school every day, along with sports events, clubs, etc.
Carpe diem!
You'll never regret doing it!
You will if you don’t find another jobThen was offered redundancy, with 7 months wages. Best thing that ever happened. Now working 5 minutes from home, see my daughter (and wife!) every day, and am a much nicer person for it. I get to do all the nice things, like take her to school every day, along with sports events, clubs, etc.
Carpe diem!
You'll never regret doing it!
Your job sounds very stressful indeed and of course I understand your wish to spend more time with your daughter.
I would merely suggest you take a hard look at alternatives before leaving your current position. I have done a lot of hiring and seen endless numbers of resumes.
Non business gaps are generally not positive. I am not suggesting you stay in what sounds like a sweatshop but think a bit about the longer term.
It is always easier to get a job when employed and it also gives you a base salary from which to negotiate. I know people say it always works out but in my experience this is in no way assured.
I commend your wish for a better family life and no doubt your current employer is making your life Hell but would simply suggest you look a bit more to the future.
Just my two cents’ worth.
I would merely suggest you take a hard look at alternatives before leaving your current position. I have done a lot of hiring and seen endless numbers of resumes.
Non business gaps are generally not positive. I am not suggesting you stay in what sounds like a sweatshop but think a bit about the longer term.
It is always easier to get a job when employed and it also gives you a base salary from which to negotiate. I know people say it always works out but in my experience this is in no way assured.
I commend your wish for a better family life and no doubt your current employer is making your life Hell but would simply suggest you look a bit more to the future.
Just my two cents’ worth.
I did the same thing 3 years ago OP. Quit my perm role that was taking more and more of my family life, calls throughout the night, weekend, expectation to be available on holiday. Fundamentally, if you're half competent, have a good network and are confident enough to push a few doors - you should take the risk. You have your wife's support and your daughter will LOVE you taking her to school and picking her up.
There is no more positive thing than prioritising your family over a job and it is something you wont regret, even if you don't immediately find a job. Good luck!
There is no more positive thing than prioritising your family over a job and it is something you wont regret, even if you don't immediately find a job. Good luck!
johnwilliams77 said:
Mammasaid said:
3 years ago I was working 100 miles from home, living in a hotel for 3 nights a week, and coming home exhausted every weekend.
Then was offered redundancy, with 7 months wages. Best thing that ever happened. Now working 5 minutes from home, see my daughter (and wife!) every day, and am a much nicer person for it. I get to do all the nice things, like take her to school every day, along with sports events, clubs, etc.
Carpe diem!
You'll never regret doing it!
You will if you don’t find another jobThen was offered redundancy, with 7 months wages. Best thing that ever happened. Now working 5 minutes from home, see my daughter (and wife!) every day, and am a much nicer person for it. I get to do all the nice things, like take her to school every day, along with sports events, clubs, etc.
Carpe diem!
You'll never regret doing it!
Money is nice, but it's not the be all and end all. I'd rather have less money and more time, than vice versa.
funkyrobot said:
Podie said:
funkyrobot said:
I'm software testing. When I took the job I said it was because I wanted to do my hours, then go home to the family. It's spiralled since then.
I'm in lincolnshire.
Yeah, the leave lockdown is a pain. It's not great either when I have to say I can't work so much overtime. I do have a home life. My manager doesn't.
OK, well there are certainly jobs out there in that area (sorry, London based so can't really help) so that's a positive.I'm in lincolnshire.
Yeah, the leave lockdown is a pain. It's not great either when I have to say I can't work so much overtime. I do have a home life. My manager doesn't.
In reality I think you know what you're going to do - but as someone else said try and do it on decent terms and without burning bridges. You may want to go back one day...
As mentioned above, I told my manager the other day. I gained nothing from this and it will only get worse as others are leaving the company too.
Good luck
Mammasaid said:
Good software testers are always in demand, besides which, you children are only young once, and if (and I know that can be a big if) you can get a correct work/life balance, you will not regret it.
Money is nice, but it's not the be all and end all. I'd rather have less money and more time, than vice versa.
Only he knows what the true risk is: i.e. total mortgage costs, his own savings, his wifes income etc etc - that makes it easier to make a decision. Even though my skills are also in demand, I would not bank on finding a job / income easily personally - perhaps I am risk adverse.Money is nice, but it's not the be all and end all. I'd rather have less money and more time, than vice versa.
johnwilliams77 said:
Mammasaid said:
Good software testers are always in demand, besides which, you children are only young once, and if (and I know that can be a big if) you can get a correct work/life balance, you will not regret it.
Money is nice, but it's not the be all and end all. I'd rather have less money and more time, than vice versa.
Only he knows what the true risk is: i.e. total mortgage costs, his own savings, his wifes income etc etc - that makes it easier to make a decision. Even though my skills are also in demand, I would not bank on finding a job / income easily personally - perhaps I am risk adverse.Money is nice, but it's not the be all and end all. I'd rather have less money and more time, than vice versa.
Thanks for all of the responses.
Spoke to my wife at lunch. She said go for it. She has been wanting us to evaluate moving somewhere else for a while now and thinks now is a good time.
She said she can't imagine anything nicer than me being around more for summer.
Will speak to her in more detail tonight and will make a decision then.
Spoke to my wife at lunch. She said go for it. She has been wanting us to evaluate moving somewhere else for a while now and thinks now is a good time.
She said she can't imagine anything nicer than me being around more for summer.
Will speak to her in more detail tonight and will make a decision then.
Get the hell out...Your current position sounds awful, there is nothing worse than having a Line Manager with Stick of Rock Syndrome (Chop their arm off and they have the company name written through) Go spent precious time with your little one and the wife, you will all love it.
When it comes to finances you will ultimately find something when you need it because you HAVE too.
Speaking as someone who missed massive portions of my children's upbringing as I was too busy at work and regretted it hugely, I don't make that mistake with my Grand Children!!
When it comes to finances you will ultimately find something when you need it because you HAVE too.
Speaking as someone who missed massive portions of my children's upbringing as I was too busy at work and regretted it hugely, I don't make that mistake with my Grand Children!!
The thread title is "throwing in the towel" and I don't think you are. I think you are on the verge of making a conscious well thought out choice about lifestyle vs work and it's a very positive move on your part.
It takes courage to work out what is important to you and act on it and it sounds like you are prepared to make a tough choice
Wish you all the best with it
It takes courage to work out what is important to you and act on it and it sounds like you are prepared to make a tough choice
Wish you all the best with it
TVR Moneypit said:
garyhun said:
TVR Moneypit said:
It's better to regret the things the have done, than regret the things you haven't done.
Almost Never regret the things you have done, only the things that you didn't.
Oh well, even though I was wrong I was almost right.
Always go with your gut feel OP. I think it’s clear what that is - leave and don’t look back.
You can always earn money. The problem isn’t money; it’s time. It’s impossible to earn back time but people always seek more money. Once they get enough perceived money, they then want their time back - but its often too late by then.
You only live once buddy.
You can always earn money. The problem isn’t money; it’s time. It’s impossible to earn back time but people always seek more money. Once they get enough perceived money, they then want their time back - but its often too late by then.
You only live once buddy.
I'm in a similar industry. Probably better to negotiate/discuss now with the company while they NEED you, rather than after a go-live/milestone when they just won't care that you are leaving (along with the rest of your knackered colleagues).
From their point of view it's much better to have you working a better routine e.g. 9-5 four days a week, than having quit and walked out.
From their point of view it's much better to have you working a better routine e.g. 9-5 four days a week, than having quit and walked out.
funkyrobot said:
My manager asked me yesterday if I'm ok as I've not been myself recently. I don't want to turn into an office grump!
You could try talking frankly with your manager, seems like you've got little to lose. Tell him you're not happy with the situation and see if he is prepared to change things. You could float the idea of a sabbatical and go back refreshed in 3-6months.I'm in a similar position to the OP, the CEO seems to be of the opinion that no problem, caused by inadequate systems, is so insurmountable that throwing more of my time at it won't fix it. He has even arranged for me to have keys to the office so that I don't have to worry about getting kicked out when everyone else leaves!
The endless month end cycles coupled with audits, budgets and forecasts for an ever growing number of businesses means taking holiday is a real pain. Last month I couldn't even go to my daughter's boyfriend's funeral as it clashed with a month end (To put this in context, she is 17 and he was murdered).
I have started to apply other jobs, I am in a lucky position as I can quite easily take a pay cut if it means working less hours and avoiding the A14 commute, although my hourly rate will probably increase. Work, however, will be in dire straits as my boss has also handed her notice in.
The endless month end cycles coupled with audits, budgets and forecasts for an ever growing number of businesses means taking holiday is a real pain. Last month I couldn't even go to my daughter's boyfriend's funeral as it clashed with a month end (To put this in context, she is 17 and he was murdered).
I have started to apply other jobs, I am in a lucky position as I can quite easily take a pay cut if it means working less hours and avoiding the A14 commute, although my hourly rate will probably increase. Work, however, will be in dire straits as my boss has also handed her notice in.
Not seen it mentioned yet so don’t forget to keep your development going (book a couple of short, relevant courses) if you take a break and maybe do some voluntary work in your specialism. This covers your CV off if you go looking for a perm role; less of an issue if you go contracting. Some hiring managers can get sniffy about breaks in employment regardless of the circumstances.
Gassing Station | Jobs & Employment Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff