Things you hate about Job Adverts/Recruitment

[redrabbit29]

"Ability to face off with senior executives" .... face off? You mean speak to, or converse with? What's all this face off sh*te?

Listing perks and benefits as a pool table, football table thing or free fruit. Rubbish!

I also hate the phrase "onboarding" meaning when you join a new company. It just sounds like something a 5 year old made up and we're all just using it to please him so he doesn't have a temper tantrum

[redrabbit29]

Also any job title with the word "Evangelist" in. I see it a lot in cyber based roles, "Cyber Evangelist"

[bigandclever]

redrabbit29 said:

"Ability to face off with senior executives" .... face off? You mean speak to, or converse with? What's all this face off sh*te?

‘face off’ has always meant ‘stand up to’ in my world.

[redrabbit29]

bigandclever said:

‘face off’ has always meant ‘stand up to’ in my world.

Exactly my interpretation. Sounds a bit like "must have the balls to deal with confrontational situations with arsey senior people"

[CoolHands]

How about this for wky bks, on an advert in my field I clicked on recently

ad said:

..Sitting within this function, the Business Intelligence team provides critical data oriented services that underpin the operations of the Trust, this criticality is only increasing. The team manages the Trust's Data Lake, supporting the Trust’s appetite for...

My bold

[MC Bodge]

CoolHands said:

How about this for wky bks, on an advert in my field I clicked on recently

ad said:

..Sitting within this function, the Business Intelligence team provides critical data oriented services that underpin the operations of the Trust, this criticality is only increasing. The team manages the Trust's Data Lake, supporting the Trust’s appetite for...

My bold

Information swamp?

[CoolHands]

I should apply and work that into my covering letter!

[alorotom]

CoolHands said:

How about this for wky bks, on an advert in my field I clicked on recently

ad said:

..Sitting within this function, the Business Intelligence team provides critical data oriented services that underpin the operations of the Trust, this criticality is only increasing. The team manages the Trust's Data Lake, supporting the Trust’s appetite for...

My bold

Public sector and known to be rife for this.

[CheesecakeRunner]

CoolHands said:

How about this for wky bks, on an advert in my field I clicked on recently

ad said:

..Sitting within this function, the Business Intelligence team provides critical data oriented services that underpin the operations of the Trust, this criticality is only increasing. The team manages the Trust's Data Lake, supporting the Trust’s appetite for...

My bold

If it’s your field, and you don’t know what a data lake is, it’s probably best you don’t apply.

[CoolHands]

I assume you’re in management, you sound perfect

[bristolracer]

It's when they come out with all this bks for a job that used to be summed up as 'till operator' or 'warehouseman'

[anxious_ant]

CheesecakeRunner said:

CoolHands said:

How about this for wky bks, on an advert in my field I clicked on recently

ad said:

..Sitting within this function, the Business Intelligence team provides critical data oriented services that underpin the operations of the Trust, this criticality is only increasing. The team manages the Trust's Data Lake, supporting the Trust’s appetite for...

My bold

If it’s your field, and you don’t know what a data lake is, it’s probably best you don’t apply.

Why so serious?

How about dataverse?

[sociopath]

anxious_ant said:

CheesecakeRunner said:

CoolHands said:

How about this for wky bks, on an advert in my field I clicked on recently

ad said:

..Sitting within this function, the Business Intelligence team provides critical data oriented services that underpin the operations of the Trust, this criticality is only increasing. The team manages the Trust's Data Lake, supporting the Trust’s appetite for...

My bold

If it’s your field, and you don’t know what a data lake is, it’s probably best you don’t apply.

Why so serious?

How about dataverse?

If it's NHS it won't be a data lake it will be a swamp, with sharks and crocodiles, and all manner of poisonous insects and arachnids

[CheesecakeRunner]

CoolHands said:

I assume you’re in management, you sound perfect

Nah, next ivory tower over - architect.

But I do know what a data lake is :-)

[Sporky]

MC Bodge said:

Information swamp?

Or for SMEs, "thing puddle".

[wiggy001]

redrabbit29 said:

Also any job title with the word "Evangelist" in. I see it a lot in cyber based roles, "Cyber Evangelist"

Any job title with the word “Cyber” in.

[APontus]

'Graduate' in junior roles when they don't need a degree to do the job. It means nothing and almost guarantees you're going to get a headless chicken.

[redrabbit29]

wiggy001 said:

Any job title with the word “Cyber” in.

Yea I said that exact thing last week when I said it is basically an exciting futuristic sounding word which has just become trendy and overused

[redrabbit29]

I also can't stand adverts that say things like

"We are looking for a security ninja"
"We need a hero who can perform the functions below".

Utter boll arks

[xx99xx]

'£competitive'

Just list a bloody salary range or a minimum and avoid wasting everyone's time.