Sad day at work yesterday
Discussion
The guy that sits facing me in the office at work was found dead by his parents in his home yesterday.
I've only known him about 5 months but liked him very much and looked forward every morning to him coming in, sense of humour etc.
We were wondering if he had booked a few days off for Easter as he hadn't turned in on Monday.
Wish I'd answered his phone as its been ranging out the last days but it was out of reach.
Don't know what happened.
Terribly sad for his parents.
Sat looking at his private bits an pieces on his desk.
Goodbye Rob, 39 is far too young.
I've only known him about 5 months but liked him very much and looked forward every morning to him coming in, sense of humour etc.
We were wondering if he had booked a few days off for Easter as he hadn't turned in on Monday.
Wish I'd answered his phone as its been ranging out the last days but it was out of reach.
Don't know what happened.
Terribly sad for his parents.
Sat looking at his private bits an pieces on his desk.
Goodbye Rob, 39 is far too young.
Edited by so called on Thursday 18th April 08:08
Awful news, sorry to hear that.
Far too many men are choosing suicide......... I hope it’s given more resource than it has been up to now......... I read in the nursing times (admittedly a couple years ago) that despite it being the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 successive governments have not spent a single penny on finding out why so many men take that path.
Far too many men are choosing suicide......... I hope it’s given more resource than it has been up to now......... I read in the nursing times (admittedly a couple years ago) that despite it being the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 successive governments have not spent a single penny on finding out why so many men take that path.
kiethton said:
keirik said:
Very sad news but why would his employer be responsible for providing a counsellor?
Not legally responsible but it's a decent thing to offer and you'd be a pretty bad employer if you didn't tbh - worth far more than it's cost, even if only offered as a gestureIf it's a large company it would never stop.
Times change I guess
keirik said:
Had lots of colleagues die over 35 years. Never offered counselling by any of my employers.
If it's a large company it would never stop.
Times change I guess
A lot or large companies or public sector bodies have counselling services or mental first aiders. Mental wellness is considered just as important as physical. If it's a large company it would never stop.
Times change I guess
OP, sorry to hear about your loss. Especially in such tragic circumstances. Might help to talk with colleagues about it as you are most certainly not on your own in the way you feel.
In the mid-nineties they held the British Kart GP at Brands Hatch. There were two fatalities. I was marshalling there that weekend and got involved in the second incident more than I would have liked.
When we were clearing up, the Chief Marshall came up to me and said, "you all right, Phil?" I said that I had felt better but I would do.
"Could you do this, then?" he asked and handed me a five gallon jerrycan of water and a stiff broom. I had the good sense to save the last half gallon for my boots.
I did my 'counselling' when I got home, with half a bottle of scotch at the bottom of the garden. I seemed to get over it all OK, but perhaps it was the memory of some of the things my dad told me about his wartime service that got me through. All I was left with was a feeling of undirected anger.
When we were clearing up, the Chief Marshall came up to me and said, "you all right, Phil?" I said that I had felt better but I would do.
"Could you do this, then?" he asked and handed me a five gallon jerrycan of water and a stiff broom. I had the good sense to save the last half gallon for my boots.
I did my 'counselling' when I got home, with half a bottle of scotch at the bottom of the garden. I seemed to get over it all OK, but perhaps it was the memory of some of the things my dad told me about his wartime service that got me through. All I was left with was a feeling of undirected anger.
steveatesh said:
Awful news, sorry to hear that.
Far too many men are choosing suicide......... I hope it’s given more resource than it has been up to now......... I read in the nursing times (admittedly a couple years ago) that despite it being the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 successive governments have not spent a single penny on finding out why so many men take that path.
2015 data Far too many men are choosing suicide......... I hope it’s given more resource than it has been up to now......... I read in the nursing times (admittedly a couple years ago) that despite it being the biggest killer of men under the age of 50 successive governments have not spent a single penny on finding out why so many men take that path.
Sorry to hear of this, think it can be quite hard to take in the first time a young(ish) work colleague passes away.
If offered, either directly from this or as general part of works package, can be useful to speak with counsellor about it.
We had a bad year few years ago, young lad killed riding his new motorbike 2nd day after he got it, then few months later young colleague run over by a train on 2nd day of their holiday (survived, but not all of them came back & they never came back to work). Was very hard to take in colleagues roughly my age being taken /affected in this way; was good to talk things through with someone neutral from it all.
If offered, either directly from this or as general part of works package, can be useful to speak with counsellor about it.
We had a bad year few years ago, young lad killed riding his new motorbike 2nd day after he got it, then few months later young colleague run over by a train on 2nd day of their holiday (survived, but not all of them came back & they never came back to work). Was very hard to take in colleagues roughly my age being taken /affected in this way; was good to talk things through with someone neutral from it all.
Thanks all for the comments and advice.
Don't know about counselling here, as a contractor I tend to try and look after myself.
He had a lot of friends here and very well liked so its affected quite a few people.
The strongest emotion is as to how he passed away.
We don't know if he died in bed in his sleep, fell or was it self inflicted?
Just don't like the thought that he lay injured. The risk of living alone.
As I mentioned, terrible for his parents.
They had travelled to his home as they were unable to contact him.
Don't know about counselling here, as a contractor I tend to try and look after myself.
He had a lot of friends here and very well liked so its affected quite a few people.
The strongest emotion is as to how he passed away.
We don't know if he died in bed in his sleep, fell or was it self inflicted?
Just don't like the thought that he lay injured. The risk of living alone.
As I mentioned, terrible for his parents.
They had travelled to his home as they were unable to contact him.
Henners said:
I had similar a while back - close colleague, a mate, dropped down dead one weekend. In his 40s.
The next couple of weeks you’ll have those times when you find something funny / interesting and think oh yeah Rob will like to hear about that.
Bit s
t really ain’t it.
Yes.The next couple of weeks you’ll have those times when you find something funny / interesting and think oh yeah Rob will like to hear about that.
Bit s
t really ain’t it. I working but at the same time I'm sat here looking under his monitors at his Clementine's, his Tabasco Sauce, his pot of black pepper...........
His mates in his football team are in for a shock too.
It is the sudden death of friends which is the most upsetting.
Friend of mine in his 50s, went to bed one night, feeling fine, just didnt wake up.
Another in his 40s, came home, felt tired, told his wife he was going for a sleep, to wake him at 7pm. She went upstairs and couldnt open the bedroom door, because he had died behind it.
Another 26 years old, not a big drinker, diagnosed with liver cancer and gone within two weeks.
Coping with the death of a friend is never easy, my condolences to the OP.
Friend of mine in his 50s, went to bed one night, feeling fine, just didnt wake up.
Another in his 40s, came home, felt tired, told his wife he was going for a sleep, to wake him at 7pm. She went upstairs and couldnt open the bedroom door, because he had died behind it.
Another 26 years old, not a big drinker, diagnosed with liver cancer and gone within two weeks.
Coping with the death of a friend is never easy, my condolences to the OP.
A company I worked with had a wellbeing package, which basically meant if you needed some help you could ring up and be assigned a counsellor for x hrs of therapy.
When I started I was a bit meh about it, but was grateful for someone to talk to when, a chap I worked on a project with in Edinburgh, died in a bike crash. I hadn't even met the fella in person, only spoken and seen him on our regular Skype calls, we had one friday afternoon, where he was full of life and excited about his plans for the weekend. I wished him well and said we will catch up on monday.
I joined a Skype call monday morning and another staff member told me the news that he had died. Despite not meeting him, the news hit me like a ton of bricks and much more than when a close friend died.
Grief is weird.
When I started I was a bit meh about it, but was grateful for someone to talk to when, a chap I worked on a project with in Edinburgh, died in a bike crash. I hadn't even met the fella in person, only spoken and seen him on our regular Skype calls, we had one friday afternoon, where he was full of life and excited about his plans for the weekend. I wished him well and said we will catch up on monday.
I joined a Skype call monday morning and another staff member told me the news that he had died. Despite not meeting him, the news hit me like a ton of bricks and much more than when a close friend died.
Grief is weird.
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