The Simpsons favourite bits thread

Author
Discussion

Morningside

24,110 posts

228 months

Wednesday 12th July 2017
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generationx said:
Homer on the phone: " Hello Selma, how you doing? Ahah. Ahah. Ahah. Listen, shut up a minute"
You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel.

DanielSan

18,745 posts

166 months

Wednesday 12th July 2017
quotequote all
Old one but a good one, 'Bart what's your favourite sprinkler?'

https://youtu.be/clEGzYMXfVA

Gets me everytime I see it.

43034

2,963 posts

167 months

Wednesday 12th July 2017
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Are you saying boo or boo-urns?

Triumph Man

8,670 posts

167 months

Friday 14th July 2017
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I was saying boo-urns

Steamer

13,843 posts

212 months

Friday 14th July 2017
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Lisa: “I’m studying for the math fair. If I win I’ll bring home a brand new protractor.”

Homer: “Ha..Too bad we don’t live on a farm.”

Lance Catamaran

24,942 posts

226 months

Friday 14th July 2017
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Lisa: Remember, it is better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Homer's brain: What the hell does that mean? Better say something in case they think I'm an idiot.

Homer: takes one to know one!

Homer's brain: swish!

8Ace

2,681 posts

197 months

Monday 17th July 2017
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Huge fan of Captain McCallister:

50 sea shanties, on three compact discs,

Arrr, squidy, i got nothin' against yer. I just heard there was gold in your belly.

I'll call you back, Ishmael

Not a nickel, yarr, he'll be dancin' for hours.

Here be a fine vessel. *Dinghy sinks.*. Yarr, I don't know what I'm doing.






Teppic

7,317 posts

256 months

Tuesday 18th July 2017
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On just now:

"Stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe. Da da da-da da-da da da insurance fraud today!"

Mr Gearchange

5,892 posts

205 months

Tuesday 18th July 2017
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Classic.

"Im just going out to commit certain deeds.......suckers"

mrtwisty

3,057 posts

164 months

Wednesday 19th July 2017
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PRAY. FOR. MOJO.

Mr Gearchange

5,892 posts

205 months

Wednesday 19th July 2017
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Potato man.

Teppic

7,317 posts

256 months

Wednesday 19th July 2017
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Mr Burns: "Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!"

SuperHans.

64 posts

81 months

Wednesday 19th July 2017
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HOMER: Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain,”

MARGE: Hhhhhmmmm...

HOMER: “Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?”

MR BURNS: Smithers! There's a rocket in my pocket.

SMITHERS: You don't have to tell me Sir...

Teppic

7,317 posts

256 months

Thursday 27th July 2017
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BART AFTER DARK

Bart: "S-U-C-C-E-E-S, that's the way you spell success!"

Belle: "Are you wearing a garbage bag?"
Homer: I have misplaced my pants"


GRADE SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL

Maude Flanders: "Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X, in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N."
Krusty: "Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!"

TwigtheWonderkid

43,246 posts

149 months

Thursday 27th July 2017
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Chief Wiggum sitting in his cop car eating a donut. Announcement comes over police radio.

"Be on the lookout for a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat, a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat."

Said Stutz Bear Cat drives past 2 seconds later. Wiggum looks at car, looks at donut and says "That one was more a magenta."

Lance Catamaran

24,942 posts

226 months

Thursday 27th July 2017
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Chief Wiggum sitting in his cop car eating a donut. Announcement comes over police radio.

"Be on the lookout for a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat, a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat."

Said Stutz Bear Cat drives past 2 seconds later. Wiggum looks at car, looks at donut and says "That one was more a magenta."
Put out an APB for a suspect driving a...........car, of some description.

E65Ross

34,943 posts

211 months

Thursday 27th July 2017
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Chief Wiggum sitting in his cop car eating a donut. Announcement comes over police radio.

"Be on the lookout for a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat, a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat."

Said Stutz Bear Cat drives past 2 seconds later. Wiggum looks at car, looks at donut and says "That one was more a magenta."
Burgundy, in fact. Absolute classic that bit though! Gotta love Wiggum!

TwigtheWonderkid

43,246 posts

149 months

Friday 28th July 2017
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E65Ross said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Chief Wiggum sitting in his cop car eating a donut. Announcement comes over police radio.

"Be on the lookout for a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat, a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat."

Said Stutz Bear Cat drives past 2 seconds later. Wiggum looks at car, looks at donut and says "That one was more a magenta."
Burgundy, in fact. Absolute classic that bit though! Gotta love Wiggum!
Yes, you're right. Also, it was a 36 Bearcat, not a 31.

I guess the 36 model would be more common! hehe

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

99 months

Friday 28th July 2017
quotequote all
Lance Catamaran said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Chief Wiggum sitting in his cop car eating a donut. Announcement comes over police radio.

"Be on the lookout for a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat, a maroon 1931 Stutz Bear Cat."

Said Stutz Bear Cat drives past 2 seconds later. Wiggum looks at car, looks at donut and says "That one was more a magenta."
Put out an APB for a suspect driving a...........car, of some description.
SUSPECT IS HATLESS! Repeat, HATLESS!

TwigtheWonderkid

43,246 posts

149 months

Friday 28th July 2017
quotequote all
Another couple that spring to mind

Ralph Wiggum, getting school test results back: Me, fail English...that's unpossible.

Moe, in a posh restaurant trying to impress a date: Bring me your finest food.....stuffed with your second finest.