Adverts that make you wanna smash your TV set up. (Vol 2)

Adverts that make you wanna smash your TV set up. (Vol 2)

Author
Discussion

iandc

2,577 posts

153 months

Tuesday 22nd October
quotequote all
21st Century Man said:
Derek doesn't have any equity in the house. Jim from Key Equity came around, did a jaunty little song and dance number out the front of the house then came in for a nice cup of tea. Derek took all the capital out of the house and fked off on a World Cruise with Junedad and blew the lot. The kids have no inheritance, so the least Derek can do is cover the cost of a funeral plan.
Or just dig him in with the plants at the garden centre so the remaining old dears can pop round, visit him and discuss funeral plans laugh

Halmyre

7,531 posts

86 months

Wednesday 23rd October
quotequote all
nicanary said:
J4CKO said:
Antony Moxey said:
J4CKO said:
Over fifties life insurance adverts, affable old buffer Derek cheerfully going on about his demise and really worrying about his funeral, last time I saw this much enthusiasm and resignation for death was the "Ameglian Major Cow", the animal bred to want you to eat it and recommend the most succulent cuts.
Never understood these - you’re living in a house worth a couple of hundred grand at least that you’re going to hand over to your kids when you go toes up and you’re worried about landing them with a three grand bill for the funeral.
Yeah, perhaps they are more for people who dont have equity in a home or significant savings ?

They are all so st though, annoying characters going on about Jean popping off "lovely Service", but she didnt have a funeral plan so was dumped in a Wheelie Bin.


Funerals are st anyway, big stupid car with windows on a dead body in a box, how werird is that, nearly dead blokes with the worlds hairiest noses and ears to carry the coffin, mawkish 20 min slot in a crematorium whist someone who never met you says nice things, then off for ham sandwiches at a pub.
It's not a legal necessity to have a funeral. There's a company advertising on TV at the moment who provide a "minimum legal requirements" service involving cremation and it sounds right up my street. Mind you, there's nothing to stop you saving that cost and doing it all yourself - my sister did. Straight from the hospital morgue to the Crem, cheap coffin, no mourners. No service, no funeral directors. As long as the cadaver is disposed of in an authorised manner, no need for any of the sh*t.
Another use for a pizza oven, possibly?

Blown2CV

22,501 posts

150 months

Wednesday 23rd October
quotequote all
J4CKO said:
Antony Moxey said:
J4CKO said:
Over fifties life insurance adverts, affable old buffer Derek cheerfully going on about his demise and really worrying about his funeral, last time I saw this much enthusiasm and resignation for death was the "Ameglian Major Cow", the animal bred to want you to eat it and recommend the most succulent cuts.
Never understood these - you’re living in a house worth a couple of hundred grand at least that you’re going to hand over to your kids when you go toes up and you’re worried about landing them with a three grand bill for the funeral.
Yeah, perhaps they are more for people who dont have equity in a home or significant savings ?

They are all so st though, annoying characters going on about Jean popping off "lovely Service", but she didnt have a funeral plan so was dumped in a Wheelie Bin.


Funerals are st anyway, big stupid car with windows on a dead body in a box, how werird is that, nearly dead blokes with the worlds hairiest noses and ears to carry the coffin, mawkish 20 min slot in a crematorium whist someone who never met you says nice things, then off for ham sandwiches at a pub.
yea exactly just stick me up on a Zoroastrian Tower of Silence and I'll be reet.

TommoAE86

1,953 posts

74 months

Wednesday 23rd October
quotequote all
techiedave said:
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
You are protecting my future xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

for getting a smart meter

fk off
Yup, the radio one is worse "our energy usage is expected to double over the next 30 years, therefore we need to predict usage by spying on everyone we can dupe into save £3.50 per year by getting a smart meter"

rolleyes

techiedave

7,917 posts

57 months

Thursday 24th October
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Carol Vorderperson : "Hi Gull, Hi Abel whats all this then why you put a for sale sign up ?"

Gull and abel: (GA) "Well Carol we are downsizing"

Carol : "have you thought about equity release you get to owe a fortune and have to pay it off in years to come. Look Marjorie over there did it and popped on a conservatory she didn't really need and can't afford to heat . And Dorothy and Dick over there used the money to give to their ungrateful kids to buy crap they didn't need

GA "is it easy to arrange"

Carol "absolutely they will have your pants down in a millisecond one of their experts will be round to try and get as much out of you as possible"

GA "Are Somelive and Dead a reputable company?"

Carol "absolutely the money they pay me for these adverts I would recommend them to anyone I got my tits done via the fee from the last advert I did for them

GA "great ill ring them now thanks so much you are such a well known face we can trust I feel really assured I'm doing the right thing"

Carol "ho ho ho you won't need this sale board I'll just cut it down it's damaging the estate agents property and cancelling the sale will lead to penalty costs but when you have sold your soul to the devil like me you don't care about these things I'm having bum implants soon"

LuS1fer

35,454 posts

192 months

Thursday 24th October
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/\ /\

Brilliant.

iandc

2,577 posts

153 months

Thursday 24th October
quotequote all
techiedave said:
Carol Vorderperson : "Hi Gull, Hi Abel whats all this then why you put a for sale sign up ?"

Gull and abel: (GA) "Well Carol we are downsizing"

Carol : "have you thought about equity release you get to owe a fortune and have to pay it off in years to come. Look Marjorie over there did it and popped on a conservatory she didn't really need and can't afford to heat . And Dorothy and Dick over there used the money to give to their ungrateful kids to buy crap they didn't need

GA "is it easy to arrange"

Carol "absolutely they will have your pants down in a millisecond one of their experts will be round to try and get as much out of you as possible"

GA "Are Somelive and Dead a reputable company?"

Carol "absolutely the money they pay me for these adverts I would recommend them to anyone I got my tits done via the fee from the last advert I did for them

GA "great ill ring them now thanks so much you are such a well known face we can trust I feel really assured I'm doing the right thing"

Carol "ho ho ho you won't need this sale board I'll just cut it down it's damaging the estate agents property and cancelling the sale will lead to penalty costs but when you have sold your soul to the devil like me you don't care about these things I'm having bum implants soon"
Funny but sadly oh so true. Is it next PPI waiting in the wings?

AlexRS2782

5,647 posts

160 months

Saturday 26th October
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cuprabob said:
BT, another rebrand and another advert, however at least we no longer have to listen to Jimmy Nesbit anymore and go back to liking "Teenage Kicks" again smile
Just seen that one myself - another vomit inducing advert. This seems to be the new advertising go to (see the Smart Meter ads) by making your advert all about "it's for the children of the future".

Langweilig

3,406 posts

158 months

Sunday 27th October
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The diet coke advert. Just because you like diet coke, it doesn't mean that you have to squeal like a little girl who's wet her knickers.

motco

12,524 posts

193 months

Sunday 27th October
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I am growing more and more sick of the whiney, nasal voice of the ad for McCain's chips. The ad is nauseatingly sentimental and PC and it's about chips FFS

iandc

2,577 posts

153 months

Sunday 27th October
quotequote all
motco said:
I am growing more and more sick of the whiney, nasal voice of the ad for McCain's chips. The ad is nauseatingly sentimental and PC and it's about chips FFS
That's where you are wrong. It is about sharing, bringing families together and all looking at each other in a "this is so wonderful" way as you get fat on the crap oven chips because nobody can be bothered to go to the chip shop and get proper ones!!!

CypSIdders

333 posts

101 months

Sunday 27th October
quotequote all
techiedave said:
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
You are protecting my future xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

for getting a smart meter

fk off
Couldn't agree more!
Literally wheeling out disabled kids, fking despicable!

Escort3500

5,465 posts

92 months

Monday 28th October
quotequote all
New TKmaxx ad with a load of annoying tossers singing and dancing inanely in a futile bid to persuade us to buy their crap.

67Dino

1,307 posts

52 months

Monday 28th October
quotequote all
Escort3500 said:
New TKmaxx ad with a load of annoying tossers singing and dancing inanely in a futile bid to persuade us to buy their crap.
Perfect definition of advertising right there...

Saleen836

6,930 posts

156 months

Monday 28th October
quotequote all
Just seen an advert for 'Smile Direct Club'
It rattles on about getting a better smile etc without paying a fortune, then you read the bottom of the screen....£199 deposit,and £120 per month for 12 months!
To me paying over £1600 is a fortune for some teeth aligners to be sent through the post!

techiedave

7,917 posts

57 months

Tuesday 29th October
quotequote all
Saleen836 said:
Just seen an advert for 'Smile Direct Club'
It rattles on about getting a better smile etc without paying a fortune, then you read the bottom of the screen....£199 deposit,and £120 per month for 12 months!
To me paying over £1600 is a fortune for some teeth aligners to be sent through the post!
It's damned economical when you consider the costs of those Star Wars/ Model Car ? magazines that sell you a piece for a month !

MXRod

1,312 posts

94 months

Tuesday 29th October
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Moam chew things .and the guy "dancing " in front of a boom box has just reappeared .
Thanks heavens for our V box and the FF function

oceanview

1,050 posts

78 months

Tuesday 29th October
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Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??

Doofus

10,218 posts

120 months

Tuesday 29th October
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oceanview said:
Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??

Halmyre

7,531 posts

86 months

Tuesday 29th October
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oceanview said:
Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??
Well, it is their logo.