Adverts that make you wanna smash your TV set up. (Vol 2)

[Halmyre]

nicanary said:

J4CKO said:

Antony Moxey said:

J4CKO said:

Over fifties life insurance adverts, affable old buffer Derek cheerfully going on about his demise and really worrying about his funeral, last time I saw this much enthusiasm and resignation for death was the "Ameglian Major Cow", the animal bred to want you to eat it and recommend the most succulent cuts.

Never understood these - you’re living in a house worth a couple of hundred grand at least that you’re going to hand over to your kids when you go toes up and you’re worried about landing them with a three grand bill for the funeral.

Yeah, perhaps they are more for people who dont have equity in a home or significant savings ?

They are all so st though, annoying characters going on about Jean popping off "lovely Service", but she didnt have a funeral plan so was dumped in a Wheelie Bin.


Funerals are st anyway, big stupid car with windows on a dead body in a box, how werird is that, nearly dead blokes with the worlds hairiest noses and ears to carry the coffin, mawkish 20 min slot in a crematorium whist someone who never met you says nice things, then off for ham sandwiches at a pub.

It's not a legal necessity to have a funeral. There's a company advertising on TV at the moment who provide a "minimum legal requirements" service involving cremation and it sounds right up my street. Mind you, there's nothing to stop you saving that cost and doing it all yourself - my sister did. Straight from the hospital morgue to the Crem, cheap coffin, no mourners. No service, no funeral directors. As long as the cadaver is disposed of in an authorised manner, no need for any of the sh*t.

Another use for a pizza oven, possibly?

[Blown2CV]

J4CKO said:

Antony Moxey said:

J4CKO said:

Over fifties life insurance adverts, affable old buffer Derek cheerfully going on about his demise and really worrying about his funeral, last time I saw this much enthusiasm and resignation for death was the "Ameglian Major Cow", the animal bred to want you to eat it and recommend the most succulent cuts.

Never understood these - you’re living in a house worth a couple of hundred grand at least that you’re going to hand over to your kids when you go toes up and you’re worried about landing them with a three grand bill for the funeral.

Yeah, perhaps they are more for people who dont have equity in a home or significant savings ?

They are all so st though, annoying characters going on about Jean popping off "lovely Service", but she didnt have a funeral plan so was dumped in a Wheelie Bin.


Funerals are st anyway, big stupid car with windows on a dead body in a box, how werird is that, nearly dead blokes with the worlds hairiest noses and ears to carry the coffin, mawkish 20 min slot in a crematorium whist someone who never met you says nice things, then off for ham sandwiches at a pub.

yea exactly just stick me up on a Zoroastrian Tower of Silence and I'll be reet.

[TommoAE86]

techiedave said:

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
You are protecting my future xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

for getting a smart meter

fk off

Yup, the radio one is worse "our energy usage is expected to double over the next 30 years, therefore we need to predict usage by spying on everyone we can dupe into save £3.50 per year by getting a smart meter"

[anonymous-user]

Carol Vorderperson : "Hi Gull, Hi Abel whats all this then why you put a for sale sign up ?"

Gull and abel: (GA) "Well Carol we are downsizing"

Carol : "have you thought about equity release you get to owe a fortune and have to pay it off in years to come. Look Marjorie over there did it and popped on a conservatory she didn't really need and can't afford to heat . And Dorothy and Dick over there used the money to give to their ungrateful kids to buy crap they didn't need

GA "is it easy to arrange"

Carol "absolutely they will have your pants down in a millisecond one of their experts will be round to try and get as much out of you as possible"

GA "Are Somelive and Dead a reputable company?"

Carol "absolutely the money they pay me for these adverts I would recommend them to anyone I got my tits done via the fee from the last advert I did for them

GA "great ill ring them now thanks so much you are such a well known face we can trust I feel really assured I'm doing the right thing"

Carol "ho ho ho you won't need this sale board I'll just cut it down it's damaging the estate agents property and cancelling the sale will lead to penalty costs but when you have sold your soul to the devil like me you don't care about these things I'm having bum implants soon"

[LuS1fer]

/\ /\

Brilliant.

[iandc]

techiedave said:

Carol Vorderperson : "Hi Gull, Hi Abel whats all this then why you put a for sale sign up ?"

Gull and abel: (GA) "Well Carol we are downsizing"

Carol : "have you thought about equity release you get to owe a fortune and have to pay it off in years to come. Look Marjorie over there did it and popped on a conservatory she didn't really need and can't afford to heat . And Dorothy and Dick over there used the money to give to their ungrateful kids to buy crap they didn't need

GA "is it easy to arrange"

Carol "absolutely they will have your pants down in a millisecond one of their experts will be round to try and get as much out of you as possible"

GA "Are Somelive and Dead a reputable company?"

Carol "absolutely the money they pay me for these adverts I would recommend them to anyone I got my tits done via the fee from the last advert I did for them

GA "great ill ring them now thanks so much you are such a well known face we can trust I feel really assured I'm doing the right thing"

Carol "ho ho ho you won't need this sale board I'll just cut it down it's damaging the estate agents property and cancelling the sale will lead to penalty costs but when you have sold your soul to the devil like me you don't care about these things I'm having bum implants soon"

Funny but sadly oh so true. Is it next PPI waiting in the wings?

[AlexRS2782]

cuprabob said:

BT, another rebrand and another advert, however at least we no longer have to listen to Jimmy Nesbit anymore and go back to liking "Teenage Kicks" again

Just seen that one myself - another inducing advert. This seems to be the new advertising go to (see the Smart Meter ads) by making your advert all about "it's for the children of the future".

[Langweilig]

The diet coke advert. Just because you like diet coke, it doesn't mean that you have to squeal like a little girl who's wet her knickers.

[motco]

I am growing more and more sick of the whiney, nasal voice of the ad for McCain's chips. The ad is nauseatingly sentimental and PC and it's about chips FFS

[iandc]

motco said:

I am growing more and more sick of the whiney, nasal voice of the ad for McCain's chips. The ad is nauseatingly sentimental and PC and it's about chips FFS

That's where you are wrong. It is about sharing, bringing families together and all looking at each other in a "this is so wonderful" way as you get fat on the crap oven chips because nobody can be bothered to go to the chip shop and get proper ones!!!

[CypSIdders]

techiedave said:

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank youuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
You are protecting my future xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

for getting a smart meter

fk off

Couldn't agree more!
Literally wheeling out disabled kids, fking despicable!

[Escort3500]

New TKmaxx ad with a load of annoying tossers singing and dancing inanely in a futile bid to persuade us to buy their crap.

[67Dino]

Escort3500 said:

New TKmaxx ad with a load of annoying tossers singing and dancing inanely in a futile bid to persuade us to buy their crap.

Perfect definition of advertising right there...

[Saleen836]

Just seen an advert for 'Smile Direct Club'
It rattles on about getting a better smile etc without paying a fortune, then you read the bottom of the screen....£199 deposit,and £120 per month for 12 months!
To me paying over £1600 is a fortune for some teeth aligners to be sent through the post!

[anonymous-user]

Saleen836 said:

Just seen an advert for 'Smile Direct Club'
It rattles on about getting a better smile etc without paying a fortune, then you read the bottom of the screen....£199 deposit,and £120 per month for 12 months!
To me paying over £1600 is a fortune for some teeth aligners to be sent through the post!

It's damned economical when you consider the costs of those Star Wars/ Model Car ? magazines that sell you a piece for a month !

[MXRod]

Moam chew things .and the guy "dancing " in front of a boom box has just reappeared .
Thanks heavens for our V box and the FF function

[oceanview]

Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??

[Doofus]

oceanview said:

Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??

[Halmyre]

oceanview said:

Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??

Well, it is their logo.

[psi310398]

Halmyre said:

oceanview said:

Lloyds- and their obsession with bloody horses.

Are they a bank or a fking stables??

Well, it is their logo.

Maybe I'm odd, but I love watching the 'osses. I wish the ad were longer...