Mixed race adoption?

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Discussion

andymadmak

Original Poster:

14,482 posts

269 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
quotequote all
Just seen this story on the BBC
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-404...

A sikh couple have been refused to enter the adoption process, because only white families are needed in their area!
Surely a child needs a loving family.... skin colour shouldn't come into it!
What on earth is wrong with a Sikh couple (or a black couple or lime green couple etc etc) adopting a white child?

amusingduck

9,396 posts

135 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
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"Adoption agencies are allowed to prioritise on the basis of race in order to match children to prospective parents of the same ethnic background."

Makes sense to me, provided the prospective parents are equally able.

The article doesn't sound like prioritisation though. It sounds like the council didn't even bother to see whether they'd be suitable at all. Which makes no sense.

Given the council's attitude, you'd think they were inundated with adoption applications from rich white families. I doubt that is the reality, and I see no reason whatsoever that this couple shouldn't have been given the chance.

Ganglandboss

8,294 posts

202 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
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One of my friends works at a primary school in an area with more than it's fair share of scumbags. Her role is general admin, but includes a lot of pastoral care and liaising with social services etc. Recently, the mother of two kids at the school left them home alone while she went on the p*ss. She was woken up the following day by police, who had found the kids playing in a load of broken glass in the front room. She had locked herself out and smashed a window to get in, before passing out on the sofa.

This was the latest in a long list of incidents that social services had been alerted to, and has resulted in the kids being taken off her permanently. I'm told that because one kid is white, and the other mixed white/Asian, they will be separated and adopted by different families.

Mr GrimNasty

8,172 posts

169 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
quotequote all
andymadmak said:
Just seen this story on the BBC
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-404...

A sikh couple have been refused to enter the adoption process, because only white families are needed in their area!
Surely a child needs a loving family.... skin colour shouldn't come into it!
What on earth is wrong with a Sikh couple (or a black couple or lime green couple etc etc) adopting a white child?
Seems entirely sensible to me, likely to be very culturally confusing for the poor kid.

PC/equality virtue signalling should never override the best interests of the child.

These days it all too frequently does.


BlackLabel

13,251 posts

122 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
quotequote all
Surely it depends on just how Sikh this couple are. If they are at the temple every 5 minutes, live by special religious diets etc and would bring their adopted child up in this way then the local authorities position is completely understandable. However if they are just the Sikh equivalent of Sunday morning Christians then I don't see why their heritage should be an issue here.

andymadmak

Original Poster:

14,482 posts

269 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
quotequote all
Mr GrimNasty said:
Seems entirely sensible to me, likely to be very culturally confusing for the poor kid.

PC/equality virtue signalling should never override the best interests of the child.

These days it all too frequently does.
Hmm. On one level I sort of understand you, but in the final analysis surely the decision should have been made on the basis of interviews and assessments? As above, if very culturally Sikh, then maybe a ginger white Catholic might struggle - although the value of having a loving family cannot be under estimated. Without the interviews though, the decision looks a little bit like "cos brown" and you know that I am the last person to call that one out!
Roll on the day when everyone follows Morgan..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh8mUia75k8



ubbs

648 posts

216 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
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Very culturally Sikh my view is, baptised Sikhs tend to go to the temple once a week they don't eat meat or drink alcohol not a bad thing these days, we were thinking of adoption after many years of ivf and us as a couple wouldn't have had a problem adopting a child of any colour, religion, race, etc.
Most of my nieces and nephews are mixed raced (11 of them)so there's a lot of white faces in my family, I'd say if the child is going to a loving family should colour be an issue? Really thankful to my baptised Sikh parents who brought 8 of us up to see all human beings as one.

Wiccan of Darkness

1,838 posts

82 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
quotequote all
I can see the councils POV on this one. There's a lot to consider, not just about the prospective parents. The child too needs to be able to have an identity. Being adopted is bad enough but being 'different' from ones parents has the potential to be detrimental to the childs sense of identity.

For all those bloody do-gooders who say oh it might NOT happen, well the chance that it might is as good a reason as any to foster a child with ethnically similar parents.

I mean, we're talking about a child. A human life. It's irresponsible to take a gamble with that child. You can't say 15 years later when the lack of self identity hits that child and you're cutting the noose from around their neck having found them hanging to then simply say "win some, lose some".

We don't know the other reasons, if any, why the sikh couple were not chosen. But as usual, they start screaming racism because they feel victimised because something so precious as a childs life didn't go the way they wanted.

Children are not objects. They're sentient beings with real emotions and that seems to be lost on a lot of people. Who knows, perhaps the child on a visit said 'nah, their house smells of curry, I don't like it'.

Once again, the PC brigade seek to politicise something and frankly it really roasts my pelican.

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
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I wonder if the couple would prefer a Sikh child, was there one on offer

speedyman

1,523 posts

233 months

Tuesday 27th June 2017
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I watched an interview with the couple in question and based on what I saw they would have made ideal parents to any child. Just a nice British couple wanting to adopt a child who happen to be Sikhs. Perhaps to much PC at work here.

Mandalore

4,165 posts

112 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
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Why do people get such a perverse kick out of stirring up racial tension??

And really...the council is going to immediately drop its rule about housing siblings together - because one is mixed race?


Biker 1

7,694 posts

118 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
I'm surprised this is an issue in 21st century Britain. My neighbours are a black & white couple, with a mixed race child. Nice people & well behaved happy kid.
I would take issue with people actively practising ANY religion being allowed to adopt, but not ethnicity.
Its OK for Madonna to raise a black child......

amusingduck

9,396 posts

135 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
Wiccan of Darkness said:
I can see the councils POV on this one. There's a lot to consider, not just about the prospective parents. The child too needs to be able to have an identity. Being adopted is bad enough but being 'different' from ones parents has the potential to be detrimental to the childs sense of identity.

For all those bloody do-gooders who say oh it might NOT happen, well the chance that it might is as good a reason as any to foster a child with ethnically similar parents.

I mean, we're talking about a child. A human life. It's irresponsible to take a gamble with that child. You can't say 15 years later when the lack of self identity hits that child and you're cutting the noose from around their neck having found them hanging to then simply say "win some, lose some".

We don't know the other reasons, if any, why the sikh couple were not chosen. But as usual, they start screaming racism because they feel victimised because something so precious as a childs life didn't go the way they wanted.

Children are not objects. They're sentient beings with real emotions and that seems to be lost on a lot of people. Who knows, perhaps the child on a visit said 'nah, their house smells of curry, I don't like it'.

Once again, the PC brigade seek to politicise something and frankly it really roasts my pelican.
Some would say that the potential detriment of remaining in care would outweigh the potential detriment of living with a well-off, loving family, who happen to have a different background.

Guardian said:
Speaking to BBC2’s Victoria Derbyshire show, the Manders’ lawyer, Georgina Calvert-Lee from McAllister Olivarius, said: “The Manders simply want to register their interest in adopting, as you might want to register to participate in a race, they are not asking to be allowed to win the race, they simply want to register. What they were confronted with was a denial of possibility to register, because the adoption agency thought they couldn’t win.
They weren't denied the chance of adopting a specific child, they were denied the possibility of adopting any of the children. Do they have 50 white kids up for adoption, and 150 well-off white couples on the list???

hyphen

26,262 posts

89 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
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I will do the sensible thing and wait to see what the courts decide.

At the moment the council won't comment due to ongoing court action, and the couple haven't shown anything in writing to prove what they were told.

hyphen

26,262 posts

89 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
Biker 1 said:
Its OK for Madonna to raise a black child......
What point do you think you have made by typing this statement?

andymadmak

Original Poster:

14,482 posts

269 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
hyphen said:
Biker 1 said:
Its OK for Madonna to raise a black child......
What point do you think you have made by typing this statement?
I suspect that the point he is raising is one of double standards. Why is it considered acceptable for wealthy white woman such as Madonna and Angelina Jolie to adopt children of different race and from an entirely different culture and country, but this British Sikh couple are deemed to not be able to adopt a British white child

hyphen

26,262 posts

89 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
andymadmak said:
hyphen said:
Biker 1 said:
Its OK for Madonna to raise a black child......
What point do you think you have made by typing this statement?
I suspect that the point he is raising is one of double standards. Why is it considered acceptable for wealthy white woman such as Madonna and Angelina Jolie to adopt children of different race and from an entirely different culture and country, but this British Sikh couple are deemed to not be able to adopt a British white child
But Madonna and Angeline both adopted from abroad, and this couple have been advised by the council to also adopt from abroad...

There are no issues with this couple adopting from abroad, the fuss is about the UK. So unless Madonna has adopted a Uk black kid whilst stating Kaballah as her religion and culture, there appears to be no relevance to Biker1's pointing to lack of fame/wealth in this case.

Sheets Tabuer

18,898 posts

214 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
I can see the point if the prospective parent dresses like Carmen Miranda, only speaks a foreign language and tries to indoctrinate the child into some belief system but this couple seemed pretty westernised.

andymadmak

Original Poster:

14,482 posts

269 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
quotequote all
hyphen said:
But Madonna and Angeline both adopted from abroad, and this couple have been advised by the council to also adopt from abroad...

There are no issues with this couple adopting from abroad, the fuss is about the UK. So unless Madonna has adopted a Uk black kid whilst stating Kaballah as her religion and culture, there appears to be no relevance to Biker1's pointing to lack of fame/wealth in this case.
Yes, I understand that. The question is though that if the reasons for rejecting the Sikh couple are based around cultural differences, surely there are fewer cultural differences between a British couple seeking to adopt a British kid who happens to be a different colour, than an American woman adopting a kid from Africa with absolutely no cultural, racial or other references in common?

hyphen

26,262 posts

89 months

Wednesday 28th June 2017
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If you have money in your pocket, you can probably get pretty much anything you like from a poor African nation where corruption is rife.