Middle aged virgins
Discussion
Ali G said:
There may be a spectrum - and not all men want to shag all female friends (despite Hollywood)
It is who you feel most comfortable with sharing your innermost and are most comfortable with not betraying your innermost and with whom you wish to share companionship for the rest of forever.
Coitus has something to do with this, but not everything.
Dawkins (perhaps)
yesIt is who you feel most comfortable with sharing your innermost and are most comfortable with not betraying your innermost and with whom you wish to share companionship for the rest of forever.
Coitus has something to do with this, but not everything.
Dawkins (perhaps)
not everyone wants a relationship (minutes to decades), not everyone needs to be around people. I feel for those who are happy as they are, but limited thinkers wish to make them more like the herd, and for those who do want a lil companionship/whatever but aren't able to because they are not socially equipped.
Apologies if this is little personal but, to those who are simply not interested in a sexual relationship, do you still have the urges to 'sort oneself out' as it were? If so, is there any desire to do so whilst viewing the offerings of numerous free websites, showing the opposite sex (or same sex, even) is various forms of repose?
I ask because, whilst I was an early starter (lost the V at 13, I am shamed to admit) and have enjoyed long term relationships to date, when the situation arises I can literally switch off my libido, including any thoughts of onanism. This was particularly useful after the birth our children, which often leads to the absence of sex for long periods of time for many couples.
I ask because, whilst I was an early starter (lost the V at 13, I am shamed to admit) and have enjoyed long term relationships to date, when the situation arises I can literally switch off my libido, including any thoughts of onanism. This was particularly useful after the birth our children, which often leads to the absence of sex for long periods of time for many couples.
Edited by phil1979 on Wednesday 23 May 10:57
As said before travel is the answer. Travel far and wide - there are over 3 billion women out there and your c0ck will get some vag. I didn't really get any pussy until I went abroad in my late 20s - think of Will from the The Inbetweeners (actually even he gets some action from the school hotty) - that was me but without the briefcase. I suppose some blokes just don't crave pussy - that's fine - but if you do like I did badly - you'll find some way to make yourself cool.
Edited by fido on Wednesday 23 May 10:57
I would take the report that "the prostitute turned him down" with a pinch of salt.
http://smbc-comics.com/comic/science-journalism
http://smbc-comics.com/comic/science-journalism
phil1979 said:
Apologies if this is little personal but, to those who are simply not interested in a sexual relationship, do you still have the urges to 'sort oneself out' as it were? If so, is there any desire to do so whilst viewing the offerings of numerous free websites, showing the opposite sex (or same sex, even) is various forms of repose?
I ask because, whilst I was an early starter (lost the V at 13, I am shamed to admit) and have enjoyed long term relationships to date, when the situation arises I can literally switch off my libido, including any thoughts of onanism. This was particularly useful after the birth our children, which often leads to the absence of sex for long periods of time for many couples.
This post makes me wish for a moment I had a different username. Anyway, I am a single 53 year old bloke who hasn't been in a long term relationship for over 10 years or one of any type for 6. Being something of an introvert I am perfectly happy with that, in fact I'd say it's my choice. However, whilst the fact that I've not had nookie for 6 years doesn't cause me any real problem, I don't think I ever really switch off my libido completely and certainly "fancy" good looking women as much as I ever did. I think that one issue is that I fancy exactly the same types of women I did when I was 25 and have absolutely no desire at all to have sex with anyone I don't fancy. I do look at nookie films on the internet by the way but rather separate that into a different category. I ask because, whilst I was an early starter (lost the V at 13, I am shamed to admit) and have enjoyed long term relationships to date, when the situation arises I can literally switch off my libido, including any thoughts of onanism. This was particularly useful after the birth our children, which often leads to the absence of sex for long periods of time for many couples.
Edited by phil1979 on Wednesday 23 May 10:57
Clockwork Cupcake said:
I would take the report that "the prostitute turned him down" with a pinch of salt.
Indeed, once a mind has become highly attuned to finding social rejection, then that rejection can be found in the most loving embrace. I too am surprised at the tone in here, not the usual npe, maybe it is striking too many chords
though at least half of the replies show exactly why the subject isn't discussed very much. Jasandjules said:
Is it possible to be "turned down" by a prostitute? Am I missing something but I thought the whole point was cash was exchanged for a guarantee of nookie? You don't ask them out for a drink!?
Of course it’s possible. They are not forced into having sex with you, they have a choice. If they think you are too ugly/smelly/whatever to have sex with you for money then they can turn you down. They are people you know, not machines. Jasandjules said:
Is it possible to be "turned down" by a prostitute? Am I missing something but I thought the whole point was cash was exchanged for a guarantee of nookie? You don't ask them out for a drink!?
Why does that seem surprising, did you never read any Belle De Jour? I'd imagine that 30 years ago, if he went on about being a 30yo virgin, she would be freaking out about safety and doing a 3 min mile.
Douglas Quaid said:
Of course it’s possible. They are not forced into having sex with you, they have a choice. If they think you are too ugly/smelly/whatever to have sex with you for money then they can turn you down. They are people you know, not machines.
I must confess I assumed (awful to do but there we go) that most of the people would be, well, not Brad Pitt..... So that would be quite normal to them? Otherwise they might not make much money at all. Jasandjules said:
Douglas Quaid said:
Of course it’s possible. They are not forced into having sex with you, they have a choice. If they think you are too ugly/smelly/whatever to have sex with you for money then they can turn you down. They are people you know, not machines.
I must confess I assumed (awful to do but there we go) that most of the people would be, well, not Brad Pitt..... So that would be quite normal to them? Otherwise they might not make much money at all. Divine Brown, less so, but kudos, she did manage to snag Hugh Grant.
Douglas Quaid said:
Of course it’s possible. They are not forced into having sex with you, they have a choice. If they think you are too ugly/smelly/whatever to have sex with you for money then they can turn you down. They are people you know, not machines.
Away from the media driven feminist angle, you would suspect many are stuck in the life as a trafficked migrant/drug addict/single mums and so on. So not sure how many would turn anyone away- surely anyone that isn't violent/into some bizarre stuff is a regarded as a good 'client'?You never hear about hairdressers turning people away, and they must get some right smelly types.
hyphen said:
Away from the media driven feminist angle, you would suspect many are stuck in the life as a trafficked migrant/drug addict/single mums and so on. So not sure how many would turn anyone away- surely anyone that isn't violent/into some bizarre stuff is a regarded as a good 'client'?
You never hear about hairdressers turning people away, and they must get some right smelly types.
Yes, perhaps. But who is to say that he went to one of those? For all we know he was turned down by someone with a select clientele who could afford to be picky. If indeed it happened at all. You never hear about hairdressers turning people away, and they must get some right smelly types.
It was just a clickbait hook on the article, as far as I'm concerned.
Jasandjules said:
Is it possible to be "turned down" by a prostitute? Am I missing something but I thought the whole point was cash was exchanged for a guarantee of nookie? You don't ask them out for a drink!?
One of my fave forums for its sheer weirdness used to be Punternet, which is hookers and their punters all chatting away. I dunno if it's still going but there were no shortage of sex workers on there who'd discuss their lengthy list of no nos. Lots were very picky about race and were naturally hyper attuned to potential nutters too. I'm sure many other professions turn down paying work simply because they don't like the customer.
Edited by bloomen on Wednesday 23 May 23:15
Thesprucegoose said:
I don't hate women I just never really had the luck. I must be the only person that has gone to magaluf three times and didn't get a shag.
Thread like this bring the alphas out when in reality I lot don't have it a lot.
There isn't any Luck to "getting girls" It's putting the effort in. Thread like this bring the alphas out when in reality I lot don't have it a lot.
captain_cynic said:
Some people are voluntarily single, but not necessarily loners. Maybe he just likes a certain type of girl that isn't readily available in the UK (I.E. Pacific Islander or Latina). Also that with a modern life, often we don't have a lot of time to pursue relationships.
I thought about him today actually. I suspect it's more the shyness/fear of rejection thing. Or maybe he just sets his standards WAY too high. Russian Troll Bot said:
I'm another one who has never had any sort of long term relationship, my longest being 3 months in my teens and a few odd flings since. Never understood how to talk to or read women, which has led to several awkward situations where I was convinced someone liked me when she was just being friendly. The older you get the harder it gets, since everyone else around you is invariably more experienced. Had zero luck with online dating either, it takes a lot just to build up the confidence or think of what to say, so when no reply is received it feels like a big setback and a personal slight.
On the other hand, I'd rather be single than stuck in an abusive or unhappy relationship. And if there is one thing I have learned, it's that you cannot force someone to find you attractive, just as you cannot force yourself to find someone attractive.
It strikes me that you put women on a pedestal. At the end of the day even a supermodel will "drop the kids off at the pool" They aren't some mythical perfect creature! On the other hand, I'd rather be single than stuck in an abusive or unhappy relationship. And if there is one thing I have learned, it's that you cannot force someone to find you attractive, just as you cannot force yourself to find someone attractive.
Thinking of the "perfect message/chat up line is a waste of time. Just comment on something around you at the time. Or something she's doing. Or wearing even. Online dating is a numbers game. And also a compete s
tbag. Something daft like 1000 men to one woman. I recommend face to face over online dating. Talking to 10 new people a night for 4 weeks. Will result in far more positive things than sitting on POF/Match for 3 hours a night for 4 weeks.And if you have any fears of talking to new people. The best way round that is to go out to a bar/club/BUSY high street. And give your mate £50 in fivers. You have to go and talk to 10 girls you don't know. And every time you do, you get a fiver back. It doesn't have to result in a phone number or a shag or even a response from her. Just literally, going over to a girl, making a POSITIVE comment/Asking if she knows where Starbucks is (obviously don't be stood next to it
) . And then wandering off. You need to desensitise yourself to it. I decided to take a look at what mumsnet thought about this topic, glad I did because it was rather surprising. Oddly they seem to be a lot less tolerant than this thread has been, regarding it as a big red flag. I'd think a shy guy is much less likely go about cheating on them.
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2437884...
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2869548...
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