Works Xmas parties - any shenanigans?
Discussion
'Tis the season to be merry... and to have works Christmas parties. Where year-long smouldering sexual tension ignites... and petty rivalry erupts into violence.
If you have had yours yet, did anything exciting happen? Did you end up fingerbanging Tracy from accounts, or calling the MD a w
ker?
Our was on Thursday night, pretty uneventful. The gobby receptionist wouldn't take no (or even "fk off") for an answer when she repeatedly tried to take a selfie with the sales manager (a dour scot who likes his personal space) so after sufficient warning he took her phone and smashed it. Cue waterworks, and the feminist network cuddling her and agreeing hes an ahole. Cue also me thinking "im too old for this st" heading home at 11pm, sober as a judge.
How was yours?
If you have had yours yet, did anything exciting happen? Did you end up fingerbanging Tracy from accounts, or calling the MD a w
ker?Our was on Thursday night, pretty uneventful. The gobby receptionist wouldn't take no (or even "f
k off") for an answer when she repeatedly tried to take a selfie with the sales manager (a dour scot who likes his personal space) so after sufficient warning he took her phone and smashed it. Cue waterworks, and the feminist network cuddling her and agreeing hes an ahole. Cue also me thinking "im too old for this st" heading home at 11pm, sober as a judge.How was yours?
this is always a strange one, we have an annual xmas bash - most of us dont work together anymore and havent for getting on for 8yrs now but we are all good friends and keep in touch all year round - this year was our 10yr christmas party extravaganza anniversary
theres always a massive amount of flirting, touching, hugging, holding, cupping, groping - in all directions but there is a collective no-sex rule amongst us all - were all married now (although non of us were when we first worked together) and its relatively innocent fun (very unPC granted, but we are all very similar people and all go on like this) - it just works!
theres always a massive amount of flirting, touching, hugging, holding, cupping, groping - in all directions but there is a collective no-sex rule amongst us all - were all married now (although non of us were when we first worked together) and its relatively innocent fun (very unPC granted, but we are all very similar people and all go on like this) - it just works!
Last Friday afternoon/evening. Quite enjoyed it, decent chat round the table at STK in The Strand then off to the 10th floor rooftop bar with great views looking South over the Thames. Lots of Lagavulin drank and a decent tube ride home and in for 8.00pm. 
I don't do them like I used to, thankfully.
I don't do them like I used to, thankfully.
Not going. I work in engineering anyway so you can imagine the types, I of course see myself contradicting this stereotype by being normal(ish) 
They're doing some sort of evening at an indoor crazy golf place this week with food after. If I was going I'd have to drive and it's the opposite direction from home for me. At least they did go karting last year that I didn't mind going out of my way for though the last of respect for red flags last time did make me think I might reconsider if they were to do that again this year.
Back in the day we had some good ones though, lots of drink, lots of banter, sometimes got out of hand especially when we were part of a bigger group and the party was for all i.e. the bods that worked in manufacturing through to us graduate types. Remember a few official warnings getting handed out one year
We also had a team night out one year and ended up doing over £100 a head in the Chinese restaurant we'd gone to. The boss might have had some explaining to do to the MD after but then it was him who was choosing the expensive wine off the list, we just drunk it (in quantity).
They're doing some sort of evening at an indoor crazy golf place this week with food after. If I was going I'd have to drive and it's the opposite direction from home for me. At least they did go karting last year that I didn't mind going out of my way for though the last of respect for red flags last time did make me think I might reconsider if they were to do that again this year.
Back in the day we had some good ones though, lots of drink, lots of banter, sometimes got out of hand especially when we were part of a bigger group and the party was for all i.e. the bods that worked in manufacturing through to us graduate types. Remember a few official warnings getting handed out one year
We also had a team night out one year and ended up doing over £100 a head in the Chinese restaurant we'd gone to. The boss might have had some explaining to do to the MD after but then it was him who was choosing the expensive wine off the list, we just drunk it (in quantity).
The past 3 have been quite eventful.
2 years ago I badly misjudged a joke that included my telling the very senior, very stern female director to fk off. Was meant innocently, did not go down that well. I then split my trousers right down the arse and spent the rest of the night walking around with my arse on show.
Last year I was casually seeing a girl from the office. She kissed a colleague in front of me, which caused quite a bit of drama considering he was staying with me that night. I now live with him, and they're now seeing each other, meaning I get to listen to them have sex on a regular basis.
And last Friday was my first Christmas party with my new team, and that got seriously out of hand for a whole host of reasons that are better left unsaid.
Who knows what's going to happen on Thursday with my old team at their Christmas party - I might be posting here on Friday.
2 years ago I badly misjudged a joke that included my telling the very senior, very stern female director to f
k off. Was meant innocently, did not go down that well. I then split my trousers right down the arse and spent the rest of the night walking around with my arse on show.Last year I was casually seeing a girl from the office. She kissed a colleague in front of me, which caused quite a bit of drama considering he was staying with me that night. I now live with him, and they're now seeing each other, meaning I get to listen to them have sex on a regular basis.
And last Friday was my first Christmas party with my new team, and that got seriously out of hand for a whole host of reasons that are better left unsaid.
Who knows what's going to happen on Thursday with my old team at their Christmas party - I might be posting here on Friday.
C0ffin D0dger said:
Not going. I work in engineering anyway so you can imagine the types, I of course see myself contradicting this stereotype by being normal(ish)
I resemble that remark!I never go on our "proper" one, only time I've regretted it is when I missed out on seeing the punch up some of them had in the street.
The engineering department might go get a curry or something together.
Ours is in January, because the people in accounts, who are most of the people in the office, can't work properly around month end/year end - which is also in December for us. Plus nearly all the office hotties have gone now anyway.
Which annoys me a lot. But then to be fair, ours are always rather tame for the "official" bit - a lunch where the CEO puts a few quid behind the bar and we eat dry turkey and tell the same jokes that we have forever and day.
But what we will miss out on is the bit where we go out to the pub in town afterwards, which at Christmas is full of all the other semi-drunk people from other companies, all merry on Christmas spirit as well. Instead it'll be a rainy January afternoon and then the pub will be empty as every boring tt does "Dry January" and so no eye candy for us
Which annoys me a lot. But then to be fair, ours are always rather tame for the "official" bit - a lunch where the CEO puts a few quid behind the bar and we eat dry turkey and tell the same jokes that we have forever and day.
But what we will miss out on is the bit where we go out to the pub in town afterwards, which at Christmas is full of all the other semi-drunk people from other companies, all merry on Christmas spirit as well. Instead it'll be a rainy January afternoon and then the pub will be empty as every boring t
t does "Dry January" and so no eye candy for usA few years ago, chatting with the boss of my boss, the Head of Sales:
Him: "I don't think I could successfully lead a team of people who didn't like me."
Me: "Don't be silly, we've had a brilliant year."
(This may be the only time that I've not thought of the line about 5 mins later, when it would no longer make sense. It may also be the reason I tend not to drink at company nights out.)
Him: "I don't think I could successfully lead a team of people who didn't like me."
Me: "Don't be silly, we've had a brilliant year."
(This may be the only time that I've not thought of the line about 5 mins later, when it would no longer make sense. It may also be the reason I tend not to drink at company nights out.)
alorotom said:
this is always a strange one, we have an annual xmas bash - most of us dont work together anymore and havent for getting on for 8yrs now but we are all good friends and keep in touch all year round - this year was our 10yr christmas party extravaganza anniversary
theres always a massive amount of flirting, touching, hugging, holding, cupping, groping - in all directions but there is a collective no-sex rule amongst us all - were all married now (although non of us were when we first worked together) and its relatively innocent fun (very unPC granted, but we are all very similar people and all go on like this) - it just works!
Bricklayer? theres always a massive amount of flirting, touching, hugging, holding, cupping, groping - in all directions but there is a collective no-sex rule amongst us all - were all married now (although non of us were when we first worked together) and its relatively innocent fun (very unPC granted, but we are all very similar people and all go on like this) - it just works!
Few years ago ours was in a circus tent with dwarfs and what what looked like female strippers serving us food,trapeze females above us very annoying,and a co-worker showing me how to fit a bottle of bud all the way in her foof.NOT BEEN TO ANY MORE.
Edited by ApOrbital on Monday 10th December 17:57
Ours is this thursday. We are used to living/working away together for extended periods. Very social, everyone likes a drink and the rest, even the directors. It would be abnormal if the night goes without some kind of incident but never any fighting and nothing that would cause career damage. Almost certainly it will not be able to come close to previous drinking adventures when ‘on tour’.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I don't miss that at all. Had one many moons ago at some swanky West End Hotel with a great deal of weed, pills and booze were involved, got back home around 5 or 6 in the morning and the only thing I could remember was falling over a table right by Posh Spice who looked at me with such disdain it was unreal.
Another one a few years later I was meeting my wife when we were staying up in a West End hotel, got there totally f
ked and ended going up and down in the lift all night passed out. Woke up feeling st in the early hours with my phone gone. She wasn't best pleased at all. 
Edited by vixen1700 on Monday 10th December 12:06
Electronicpants said:
alorotom said:
this is always a strange one, we have an annual xmas bash - most of us dont work together anymore and havent for getting on for 8yrs now but we are all good friends and keep in touch all year round - this year was our 10yr christmas party extravaganza anniversary
theres always a massive amount of flirting, touching, hugging, holding, cupping, groping - in all directions but there is a collective no-sex rule amongst us all - were all married now (although non of us were when we first worked together) and its relatively innocent fun (very unPC granted, but we are all very similar people and all go on like this) - it just works!
Bricklayer? theres always a massive amount of flirting, touching, hugging, holding, cupping, groping - in all directions but there is a collective no-sex rule amongst us all - were all married now (although non of us were when we first worked together) and its relatively innocent fun (very unPC granted, but we are all very similar people and all go on like this) - it just works!
I have to go back a long time to my Time at Post Office Telephones yes well before it became BT etc etc. The office party WAS an office party.
Because we were in the Sales Groups we still had to deal with customers, so all call were re routed to a room and a couple ofnon party people volunteered to have sensible converstaions with the public and were helped out be a sort of roster. Those on the roster went ape.
All the desks were shifted as best as we could so there as a sort of dance floor, everyone brought in food and booze and at 2pm it started, Having had a rehersal in the pub next door. This was the same in every department. As a young 16 year old just out of school i could ot beleive my eyes on what went on Normally sedate married women and the umarried matures going after anything in trousers armed with a sprig of Mistletoe and giving out free 'lessons' to any lad under 20. Climblng on the desks doing the 60's version of pole dancing, and the bosses condoning every bloody minute of it even urging them on. So much underwear in those days to discard!!
The best bit was on the next day, the Sports and Social Secretary came around moaning about the mess in the basement.
'Every bloody year, i get this, i should get those involved to sort it out'
Now i didnt understand what he meant so asked an old hand what it was all about
'Oh he has to give the baize on the three snooker tables a good shampooing and we think its because he isnt invited'
And the next year I realised it wasnt all Watneys pale ale that was creating the mess!
Great Days, and by God some of the older women really knew what to do!!
Because we were in the Sales Groups we still had to deal with customers, so all call were re routed to a room and a couple ofnon party people volunteered to have sensible converstaions with the public and were helped out be a sort of roster. Those on the roster went ape.
All the desks were shifted as best as we could so there as a sort of dance floor, everyone brought in food and booze and at 2pm it started, Having had a rehersal in the pub next door. This was the same in every department. As a young 16 year old just out of school i could ot beleive my eyes on what went on Normally sedate married women and the umarried matures going after anything in trousers armed with a sprig of Mistletoe and giving out free 'lessons' to any lad under 20. Climblng on the desks doing the 60's version of pole dancing, and the bosses condoning every bloody minute of it even urging them on. So much underwear in those days to discard!!
The best bit was on the next day, the Sports and Social Secretary came around moaning about the mess in the basement.
'Every bloody year, i get this, i should get those involved to sort it out'
Now i didnt understand what he meant so asked an old hand what it was all about
'Oh he has to give the baize on the three snooker tables a good shampooing and we think its because he isnt invited'
And the next year I realised it wasnt all Watneys pale ale that was creating the mess!
Great Days, and by God some of the older women really knew what to do!!
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