8.2 Milion living alone
Poll: 8.2 Milion living alone
Total Members Polled: 509
Discussion
I've been living alone (as above, with teenaged kids staying sometimes - weekends, holidays etc) for a couple of years since divorce. I've actually quite enjoyed it, but have had a gf for some time, and we're getting married in Jan. For reasons to do with work, visas (she's American) etc. we'll live together for a few months, then she'll have to go back to the US. For a little while it'll be long-distance, but luckily flights to where she'll be are fairly cheap so I plan to split my time between there and here before hopefully moving there in time.
But... I think I'll miss the independence. If I want to paint my lounge purple, I can. I can leave the hall full of my stuff, restore car parts on the kitchen table, whatever. On the other hand, she's quite a remarkable person, and so much more tolerant and accepting than my ex I'm finding it hard to come to terms with (in a good way). My mum and stepfather are 90, and although in fair health that can only go on so long. The kids are becoming more independent, but it will be hard to go. They both have real-world friends, can have conversations, but it's clear that their generation is suffering more social anxiety/shyness than mine (although I'm pretty shy I can force myself to get through it).
Still, first world problems and all that.
But... I think I'll miss the independence. If I want to paint my lounge purple, I can. I can leave the hall full of my stuff, restore car parts on the kitchen table, whatever. On the other hand, she's quite a remarkable person, and so much more tolerant and accepting than my ex I'm finding it hard to come to terms with (in a good way). My mum and stepfather are 90, and although in fair health that can only go on so long. The kids are becoming more independent, but it will be hard to go. They both have real-world friends, can have conversations, but it's clear that their generation is suffering more social anxiety/shyness than mine (although I'm pretty shy I can force myself to get through it).
Still, first world problems and all that.
S1KRR said:
As is often the way, the Japanese are way ahead of us. Again delayed or no marriage appears to be at the root.
I don't think anyone should be comparing anywhere with Japan. They're about as close to aliens as other humans can get. As for me I live alone and it's fine. I can't be bothered with relationships of any type any more. Other people seem to regard themselves as assets when in reality they're liabilities.
I've seen enough hideous relationships dragging on in to old age to know I'd rather be a free agent rather than the prisoner of someone's contempt.
Edited by bloomen on Sunday 17th November 13:49
av185 said:
Strangely it is often seen as those who are on their own who have problems whereas in fact it is often those who 'must' have someone to live with at all costs due to their insecurities who are the unstable ones and are the ones who need 'help'.
Never ceases to amaze the number of people who immediately jump from one toxic relationship to another due their own insecurities instead of spending time on their own working out who they are and what they actually want and need in life.
'Self partnering' and spending time alone is undoubtedly often the way forward following the breakdown of a relationship.
Someone has finally put into succinct words what I've been thinking for ages...Never ceases to amaze the number of people who immediately jump from one toxic relationship to another due their own insecurities instead of spending time on their own working out who they are and what they actually want and need in life.
'Self partnering' and spending time alone is undoubtedly often the way forward following the breakdown of a relationship.
Living alone = watching what you want on TV, eating when you want, less housework.
After 3 marriages and divorces, the last of which was traumatic and left me insolvent, I've spent 28 years on my own and quite frankly wouldn't want to return to domestic bliss, whatever that is. The trick is to find someone to talk to every day, just to have social contact - I walk my daughter's dog every afternoon and it's surprising how many people want to stop and chat to a stranger.
I'm 69 now, so the physical pleasures aren't of much interest any more. Cleaning the flat takes me 20 minutes maximum - if you tidy up every day there's nothing much to do when the vacuum cleaner comes out. That's bliss for you. Second bedroom is a proper man-cave too - nobody to nag you.
After 3 marriages and divorces, the last of which was traumatic and left me insolvent, I've spent 28 years on my own and quite frankly wouldn't want to return to domestic bliss, whatever that is. The trick is to find someone to talk to every day, just to have social contact - I walk my daughter's dog every afternoon and it's surprising how many people want to stop and chat to a stranger.
I'm 69 now, so the physical pleasures aren't of much interest any more. Cleaning the flat takes me 20 minutes maximum - if you tidy up every day there's nothing much to do when the vacuum cleaner comes out. That's bliss for you. Second bedroom is a proper man-cave too - nobody to nag you.
Dont like rolls said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
My dad lives alone too in a city in a really rough area, I'm thinking about getting him to move in with me, he's 70 might be nice for him to see out his years in a little village.
A wonderful thing to do, it will be a lot of effort but the wonder of knowing he feels safe and cared for is a fine goal if you can make it work.Well done Sir.
We split the house to allow my parents to move in (it was 2 houses originally anyway) and it's great. Fortunately both my parents are in good shape and don't need much help with day to day stuff but as they get older this may change. It saves money in childcare and babysitting and means the children have a great relationship with their grandparents, and a bigger range than they would otherwise.
A lot of people said we would miss our own space and privacy but it isn't really much of an issue, and probably less so than if we had split the house and sold off their half as we originally planned. It would make it difficult to have orgies but we didn't have them before so we don't miss it.
Apparently it's quite common in Asia to have 3 or even 4 generations living side by side and I can see why. It just makes sense. Especially with limited space, an aging population and expensive (not to mention often poor quality) care for both children and the elderly.
JuanCarlosFandango said:
Dont like rolls said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
My dad lives alone too in a city in a really rough area, I'm thinking about getting him to move in with me, he's 70 might be nice for him to see out his years in a little village.
A wonderful thing to do, it will be a lot of effort but the wonder of knowing he feels safe and cared for is a fine goal if you can make it work.Well done Sir.
We split the house to allow my parents to move in (it was 2 houses originally anyway) and it's great. Fortunately both my parents are in good shape and don't need much help with day to day stuff but as they get older this may change. It saves money in childcare and babysitting and means the children have a great relationship with their grandparents, and a bigger range than they would otherwise.
A lot of people said we would miss our own space and privacy but it isn't really much of an issue, and probably less so than if we had split the house and sold off their half as we originally planned. It would make it difficult to have orgies but we didn't have them before so we don't miss it.
Apparently it's quite common in Asia to have 3 or even 4 generations living side by side and I can see why. It just makes sense. Especially with limited space, an aging population and expensive (not to mention often poor quality) care for both children and the elderly.
And the added bonus of 'on site' child minders must be a big advantage.
Haven't heard about 'orgies' for years ... are they still a thing?
pequod said:
Agree with all the above although it does get a little more demanding on time as elderly parents become less capable. As you say, it is quite common for multi-generational living arrangements under one roof in other parts of the world, as it used to be here in previous times.
And the added bonus of 'on site' child minders must be a big advantage.
Haven't heard about 'orgies' for years ... are they still a thing?
No idea about origins but we don't have them and nor do my parents, unless they do it very quietly. And the added bonus of 'on site' child minders must be a big advantage.
Haven't heard about 'orgies' for years ... are they still a thing?
I’ve lived alone since I moved out of my parents home when I was 21, I’m 38 now.
I am very lonely at times, when I’m not at work or the gym I get devastatingly bored so I just sleep a lot.
I’d love to meet a woman but I’m 99% certain it’ll never happen for me now, been single for 9 years in December.
Last of my single mates has just met a girl so I’m royally f
ked now 
I am very lonely at times, when I’m not at work or the gym I get devastatingly bored so I just sleep a lot.
I’d love to meet a woman but I’m 99% certain it’ll never happen for me now, been single for 9 years in December.
Last of my single mates has just met a girl so I’m royally f
ked now Like many I've been on both sides of the fence, long term single and now a long term relationship.
Despite being somewhat introverted I found being long term single quite dispiriting and lonely.
Obviously YMMV but the only long term living alone I could tolerate would involve an occasional fk-budy or living apart relationship.
Despite being somewhat introverted I found being long term single quite dispiriting and lonely.
Obviously YMMV but the only long term living alone I could tolerate would involve an occasional f
k-budy or living apart relationship.Pan Pan Pan said:
What many seem to forget, or perhaps for some never understood in the first place, is that we, like all other species are driven by the prime biological directive to reproduce. It is the prime reason we, and all other species are here for.
Sounds like complete bullst to me. For a start there is no concept of reason for most of the animals that exist. There is certainly no reason for why we are here, or those other species. The ‘prime biological directive’... did you come up with that phrasing?
I basically live alone. It suits me at the moment but I also enjoy living with other people. I have a busy social life and don’t get lonely.
gregs656 said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
What many seem to forget, or perhaps for some never understood in the first place, is that we, like all other species are driven by the prime biological directive to reproduce. It is the prime reason we, and all other species are here for.
Sounds like complete bullst to me. For a start there is no concept of reason for most of the animals that exist. There is certainly no reason for why we are here, or those other species. The ‘prime biological directive’... did you come up with that phrasing?
I basically live alone. It suits me at the moment but I also enjoy living with other people. I have a busy social life and don’t get lonely.
He means that as a hetro male, you naturally get an erection and want to stick it between a females legs.
Clearer?
Big-Bo-Beep said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
My dad lives alone too in a city in a really rough area, I'm thinking about getting him to move in with me, he's 70 might be nice for him to see out his years in a little village.
Lovely idea.You do get on together though ?
It's just a shame he has to go home at night to his inner city council estate full of druggies trying to burgle him.
Of course knowing my luck I'll meet someone a week later and she'll walk away when she finds out "I live with my dad"
A lot of thinking to do!
Sheets Tabuer said:
Fortunately we do, He's actually been coming to my house daily since his wife died two years ago, he's made the village pub his local and has found a group of people his own age and seems to have slotted in quite well, one of them is teaching him fishing. He wanders over to the cows and has chats with them, he seems at peace here.
It's just a shame he has to go home at night to his inner city council estate full of druggies trying to burgle him.
Of course knowing my luck I'll meet someone a week later and she'll walk away when she finds out "I live with my dad"
A lot of thinking to do!
Time to have a conversation with dad, I would respectfully suggest.It's just a shame he has to go home at night to his inner city council estate full of druggies trying to burgle him.
Of course knowing my luck I'll meet someone a week later and she'll walk away when she finds out "I live with my dad"
A lot of thinking to do!
As for a new love in your life, ''rescuing'' dad from inner city council hell, will be like Catnip to the female species! It's how you want your life to change, as it surely will, that you have to be comfortable with and what he wants too. Good luck, but I think you already know what is the right course of action?
P
30 here and perpetually single. For a bit of balance, I'm gay, and Men are just as bad, and in some cases worse than (what I read/hear of) women, just sometimes for other reasons.
Pretty much lived alone since finishing uni at 21. When I moved from Wales to the Midlands after uni I initially stayed with a mate while I found my own place. Luckily that was pretty quick else I would have committed murder!
I am introverted but I deal with people okay. Living alone has never bothered me, maybe the rare feeling of loneliness as I see more and more of my friends settling down. Other than that I'm very much conditioned to being single and living alone
Pretty much lived alone since finishing uni at 21. When I moved from Wales to the Midlands after uni I initially stayed with a mate while I found my own place. Luckily that was pretty quick else I would have committed murder!
I am introverted but I deal with people okay. Living alone has never bothered me, maybe the rare feeling of loneliness as I see more and more of my friends settling down. Other than that I'm very much conditioned to being single and living alone
hyphen said:
gregs656 said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
What many seem to forget, or perhaps for some never understood in the first place, is that we, like all other species are driven by the prime biological directive to reproduce. It is the prime reason we, and all other species are here for.
Sounds like complete bullst to me. For a start there is no concept of reason for most of the animals that exist. There is certainly no reason for why we are here, or those other species. The ‘prime biological directive’... did you come up with that phrasing?
I basically live alone. It suits me at the moment but I also enjoy living with other people. I have a busy social life and don’t get lonely.
He means that as a hetro male, you naturally get an erection and want to stick it between a females legs.
Clearer?
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