8.2 Milion living alone

Poll: 8.2 Milion living alone

Total Members Polled: 509

Living with Partner: 51%
Living Alone - In a relationship: 7%
Living Alone (Divorced): 5%
Living Alone: 28%
Living with Friends/Family/Housemates: 8%
Author
Discussion

bigandclever

9,450 posts

186 months

Sunday 17th November
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Live alone, late forties, quite happy to be honest. Helps that it’s become clear the women of the world all had a meeting and decided they weren’t going to bang me any more laugh

RemyMartin81D

5,179 posts

153 months

Sunday 17th November
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Lord Marylebone said:
I think, as we are discovering in this thread, everyone likes different things.

There’s no right or wrong way to live your life.

Unless you are a serial killer. That’s pretty wrong.
I don't know.

The Frank Castle life seems appealing to me.

mr_spock

2,873 posts

163 months

Sunday 17th November
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I've been living alone (as above, with teenaged kids staying sometimes - weekends, holidays etc) for a couple of years since divorce. I've actually quite enjoyed it, but have had a gf for some time, and we're getting married in Jan. For reasons to do with work, visas (she's American) etc. we'll live together for a few months, then she'll have to go back to the US. For a little while it'll be long-distance, but luckily flights to where she'll be are fairly cheap so I plan to split my time between there and here before hopefully moving there in time.

But... I think I'll miss the independence. If I want to paint my lounge purple, I can. I can leave the hall full of my stuff, restore car parts on the kitchen table, whatever. On the other hand, she's quite a remarkable person, and so much more tolerant and accepting than my ex I'm finding it hard to come to terms with (in a good way). My mum and stepfather are 90, and although in fair health that can only go on so long. The kids are becoming more independent, but it will be hard to go. They both have real-world friends, can have conversations, but it's clear that their generation is suffering more social anxiety/shyness than mine (although I'm pretty shy I can force myself to get through it).

Still, first world problems and all that.

bloomen

2,939 posts

107 months

Sunday 17th November
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S1KRR said:
As is often the way, the Japanese are way ahead of us. Again delayed or no marriage appears to be at the root.
I don't think anyone should be comparing anywhere with Japan. They're about as close to aliens as other humans can get.

As for me I live alone and it's fine. I can't be bothered with relationships of any type any more. Other people seem to regard themselves as assets when in reality they're liabilities.

I've seen enough hideous relationships dragging on in to old age to know I'd rather be a free agent rather than the prisoner of someone's contempt.

Edited by bloomen on Sunday 17th November 13:49

bucksmanuk

1,361 posts

118 months

Sunday 17th November
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av185 said:
Strangely it is often seen as those who are on their own who have problems whereas in fact it is often those who 'must' have someone to live with at all costs due to their insecurities who are the unstable ones and are the ones who need 'help'.

Never ceases to amaze the number of people who immediately jump from one toxic relationship to another due their own insecurities instead of spending time on their own working out who they are and what they actually want and need in life.

'Self partnering' and spending time alone is undoubtedly often the way forward following the breakdown of a relationship.
Someone has finally put into succinct words what I've been thinking for ages...

nicanary

7,056 posts

94 months

Sunday 17th November
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Living alone = watching what you want on TV, eating when you want, less housework.

After 3 marriages and divorces, the last of which was traumatic and left me insolvent, I've spent 28 years on my own and quite frankly wouldn't want to return to domestic bliss, whatever that is. The trick is to find someone to talk to every day, just to have social contact - I walk my daughter's dog every afternoon and it's surprising how many people want to stop and chat to a stranger.

I'm 69 now, so the physical pleasures aren't of much interest any more. Cleaning the flat takes me 20 minutes maximum - if you tidy up every day there's nothing much to do when the vacuum cleaner comes out. That's bliss for you. Second bedroom is a proper man-cave too - nobody to nag you.

MitchT

12,724 posts

157 months

Sunday 17th November
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Where's the "Living with someone you've had enough of because housing costs are too high" option?

grumpy52

4,085 posts

114 months

Sunday 17th November
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Stay in Bed Instead said:
Twice divorced.

Can't be arsed anymore to have to take all the crap that comes with a relationship.
Very much the same in my case .
Add in the work I used to do , driving all over UK and Europe ,which is a known relationship breaker .



JuanCarlosFandango

2,060 posts

19 months

Sunday 17th November
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Dont like rolls said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
My dad lives alone too in a city in a really rough area, I'm thinking about getting him to move in with me, he's 70 might be nice for him to see out his years in a little village.
A wonderful thing to do, it will be a lot of effort but the wonder of knowing he feels safe and cared for is a fine goal if you can make it work.

Well done Sir.
Absolutely.

We split the house to allow my parents to move in (it was 2 houses originally anyway) and it's great. Fortunately both my parents are in good shape and don't need much help with day to day stuff but as they get older this may change. It saves money in childcare and babysitting and means the children have a great relationship with their grandparents, and a bigger range than they would otherwise.

A lot of people said we would miss our own space and privacy but it isn't really much of an issue, and probably less so than if we had split the house and sold off their half as we originally planned. It would make it difficult to have orgies but we didn't have them before so we don't miss it.

Apparently it's quite common in Asia to have 3 or even 4 generations living side by side and I can see why. It just makes sense. Especially with limited space, an aging population and expensive (not to mention often poor quality) care for both children and the elderly.

pequod

750 posts

86 months

Sunday 17th November
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JuanCarlosFandango said:
Dont like rolls said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
My dad lives alone too in a city in a really rough area, I'm thinking about getting him to move in with me, he's 70 might be nice for him to see out his years in a little village.
A wonderful thing to do, it will be a lot of effort but the wonder of knowing he feels safe and cared for is a fine goal if you can make it work.

Well done Sir.
Absolutely.

We split the house to allow my parents to move in (it was 2 houses originally anyway) and it's great. Fortunately both my parents are in good shape and don't need much help with day to day stuff but as they get older this may change. It saves money in childcare and babysitting and means the children have a great relationship with their grandparents, and a bigger range than they would otherwise.

A lot of people said we would miss our own space and privacy but it isn't really much of an issue, and probably less so than if we had split the house and sold off their half as we originally planned. It would make it difficult to have orgies but we didn't have them before so we don't miss it.

Apparently it's quite common in Asia to have 3 or even 4 generations living side by side and I can see why. It just makes sense. Especially with limited space, an aging population and expensive (not to mention often poor quality) care for both children and the elderly.
Agree with all the above although it does get a little more demanding on time as elderly parents become less capable. As you say, it is quite common for multi-generational living arrangements under one roof in other parts of the world, as it used to be here in previous times.
And the added bonus of 'on site' child minders must be a big advantage.

Haven't heard about 'orgies' for years ... are they still a thing?

JuanCarlosFandango

2,060 posts

19 months

Sunday 17th November
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pequod said:
Agree with all the above although it does get a little more demanding on time as elderly parents become less capable. As you say, it is quite common for multi-generational living arrangements under one roof in other parts of the world, as it used to be here in previous times.
And the added bonus of 'on site' child minders must be a big advantage.

Haven't heard about 'orgies' for years ... are they still a thing?
No idea about origins but we don't have them and nor do my parents, unless they do it very quietly.

pequod

750 posts

86 months

Sunday 17th November
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JuanCarlosFandango said:
No idea about origins but we don't have them and nor do my parents, unless they do it very quietly.
Or they have them when you are out! wink

Humble Pi

7,740 posts

135 months

Sunday 17th November
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I’ve lived alone since I moved out of my parents home when I was 21, I’m 38 now.
I am very lonely at times, when I’m not at work or the gym I get devastatingly bored so I just sleep a lot.
I’d love to meet a woman but I’m 99% certain it’ll never happen for me now, been single for 9 years in December.
Last of my single mates has just met a girl so I’m royally fked now smile

Olivera

3,588 posts

187 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Like many I've been on both sides of the fence, long term single and now a long term relationship.

Despite being somewhat introverted I found being long term single quite dispiriting and lonely.

Obviously YMMV but the only long term living alone I could tolerate would involve an occasional fk-budy or living apart relationship.

gregs656

4,281 posts

129 months

Sunday 17th November
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Pan Pan Pan said:
What many seem to forget, or perhaps for some never understood in the first place, is that we, like all other species are driven by the prime biological directive to reproduce. It is the prime reason we, and all other species are here for.
Sounds like complete bullst to me. For a start there is no concept of reason for most of the animals that exist. There is certainly no reason for why we are here, or those other species.

The ‘prime biological directive’... did you come up with that phrasing?

I basically live alone. It suits me at the moment but I also enjoy living with other people. I have a busy social life and don’t get lonely.

hyphen

11,470 posts

38 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
gregs656 said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
What many seem to forget, or perhaps for some never understood in the first place, is that we, like all other species are driven by the prime biological directive to reproduce. It is the prime reason we, and all other species are here for.
Sounds like complete bullst to me. For a start there is no concept of reason for most of the animals that exist. There is certainly no reason for why we are here, or those other species.

The ‘prime biological directive’... did you come up with that phrasing?

I basically live alone. It suits me at the moment but I also enjoy living with other people. I have a busy social life and don’t get lonely.
Apologies, Pan made it too complicated for you.

He means that as a hetro male, you naturally get an erection and want to stick it between a females legs.

Clearer?

grumbledoak

24,771 posts

181 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Divorced and living alone. Though it cost me everything this is still a lot better than being stuck where I was.

I would have liked more kids, but as I've made no effort to even get a date since that day it is looking unlikely.

Sheets Tabuer

15,185 posts

163 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Big-Bo-Beep said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
My dad lives alone too in a city in a really rough area, I'm thinking about getting him to move in with me, he's 70 might be nice for him to see out his years in a little village.
Lovely idea.

You do get on together though ?
Fortunately we do, He's actually been coming to my house daily since his wife died two years ago, he's made the village pub his local and has found a group of people his own age and seems to have slotted in quite well, one of them is teaching him fishing. He wanders over to the cows and has chats with them, he seems at peace here.

It's just a shame he has to go home at night to his inner city council estate full of druggies trying to burgle him.

Of course knowing my luck I'll meet someone a week later and she'll walk away when she finds out "I live with my dad"

A lot of thinking to do!

Isaac Hunt

10,617 posts

159 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Sheets Tabuer said:
Of course knowing my luck I'll meet someone a week later and she'll walk away when she finds out "I live with my dad"
If she does walk away, then you will have dodged a bullet. Looks like a good litmus test to me.

pequod

750 posts

86 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Sheets Tabuer said:
Fortunately we do, He's actually been coming to my house daily since his wife died two years ago, he's made the village pub his local and has found a group of people his own age and seems to have slotted in quite well, one of them is teaching him fishing. He wanders over to the cows and has chats with them, he seems at peace here.

It's just a shame he has to go home at night to his inner city council estate full of druggies trying to burgle him.

Of course knowing my luck I'll meet someone a week later and she'll walk away when she finds out "I live with my dad"

A lot of thinking to do!
Time to have a conversation with dad, I would respectfully suggest.

As for a new love in your life, ''rescuing'' dad from inner city council hell, will be like Catnip to the female species! It's how you want your life to change, as it surely will, that you have to be comfortable with and what he wants too. Good luck, but I think you already know what is the right course of action?
P