Am I mean, £1200 per month on household?
Discussion
So you’re paying her mortgage/rent, holidays and all joint household bills and luxuries, her car running costs (save for petrol) all whilst giving her £5k in cash per year (which will surely more than cover her petrol, mobile, and clothes etc.)
In return she does the food shopping out of her wages? Can I be your partner?!
In return she does the food shopping out of her wages? Can I be your partner?!
BRISTOL86 said:
So you’re paying her mortgage/rent, holidays and all joint household bills and luxuries, her car running costs (save for petrol) all whilst giving her £5k in cash per year (which will surely more than cover her petrol, mobile, and clothes etc.)
In return she does the food shopping out of her wages? Can I be your partner?!
She is also looking after his autistic son In return she does the food shopping out of her wages? Can I be your partner?!
, seriously dont be that guyStrange arguments to have. You have so much coming in, so much going out. Going out needs to be slightly less than coming in. If there’s not enough to do that things need to change. Arguing won’t bring more money in.
When my wife was off work with the babies I used to give her £350 per month, plus she got child benefit. I payed everything else and didn’t have any disposable income myself at all. She was able to budget with that money and even pay for a holiday one year. The money we had wasn’t really enough for us so we had to adapt.
She should be able to budget on what she has but at the same time, she wants and should have an even slice of the pie at the very least.
When my wife was off work with the babies I used to give her £350 per month, plus she got child benefit. I payed everything else and didn’t have any disposable income myself at all. She was able to budget with that money and even pay for a holiday one year. The money we had wasn’t really enough for us so we had to adapt.
She should be able to budget on what she has but at the same time, she wants and should have an even slice of the pie at the very least.
NDA said:
Hard to say....
I know someone recently divorced who has to pay everything on £1600 a month - no school fees and no mortgage, but everything else. It means living quite frugally.
You're right - it depends. I know someone recently divorced who has to pay everything on £1600 a month - no school fees and no mortgage, but everything else. It means living quite frugally.
£1,600 per month is about the same as an the take-home from a national-average income job (£23,500). Not having mortgage/rent coming out of that puts you in a far better position than the majority of the population. So whilst it's hardly going to be Taittinger for breakfast, statistically it's not especially bad.
In the OP's case, he's already paying for house, car and life insurance, utilities, council tax, netflix, internet. That's probably £400 a month without blinking, so £1,200 a month in this scenario is probably similar.
My wife is a full time mother to our two kids. I pay for everything (about 5k/month total), including her phone, gym/spa memberships, her holidays, wine and life insurance. She gets 250 GBP a week for food for us and the kids, some petrol and anything else. I think that 13,000 GBP pa is a reasonable amount to live on if all other bases are covered.
Obviously YMMV
Obviously YMMV
KrazyIvan said:
She is also looking after his autistic son , seriously dont be that guy
When did I say otherwise? I imagine that’s why OP pays a fair chunk of his wages directly to his partner. , seriously dont be that guyIt’s uktimately a moot point. Between them X in less Y out. Matters not a jot what the source of the ins and outs are, they are where they are at the end of each month. It doesn’t sound like either one is spending irresponsibly on extravagances, it’s just balancing mundane and routine outgoings.
Deesee said:
1TurboTom said:
I am the sole earner in our house, aged 30, recently took a lower paid job in Cyber Security with better future prospects. Girlfriend, 26, is a stay at home mum, 2 children (mine).
I pay mortgage and bills at around £900.
I give the girlfriend £250 on top of the £137ish from child maintenance (think it's that) so she has £387 to pay for food shopping, her petrol, car insurance, mobile contact, hair etc. No problems or complaints.
I spend £250 a month on fuel, food at work and anything else that I do.
Save around £800 into an S/S ISA each month for the future.
Anything we do at weekends or meals out etc, I pay for. Always happy to give extra money for anything the children or she needs, for example she is currently taking IT certifications which I will pay for.
Through being frugal we have become very financially secure, got enough put away for 2 years expenditure, nearly down to 50% LTV on the house too. I think it helps to talk about what your goals are for the future and get on the same page, we are hoping to ditch work when I'm 50 and go sailing; this is a big motivator.
Nice, I think her friends will refer to you as a keeper! I pay mortgage and bills at around £900.
I give the girlfriend £250 on top of the £137ish from child maintenance (think it's that) so she has £387 to pay for food shopping, her petrol, car insurance, mobile contact, hair etc. No problems or complaints.
I spend £250 a month on fuel, food at work and anything else that I do.
Save around £800 into an S/S ISA each month for the future.
Anything we do at weekends or meals out etc, I pay for. Always happy to give extra money for anything the children or she needs, for example she is currently taking IT certifications which I will pay for.
Through being frugal we have become very financially secure, got enough put away for 2 years expenditure, nearly down to 50% LTV on the house too. I think it helps to talk about what your goals are for the future and get on the same page, we are hoping to ditch work when I'm 50 and go sailing; this is a big motivator.
Keep it up
My regular income is less than £1k per month, from 2 pensions and a part time job. My house is paid for, but I still have monthly household direct debits of £400 a month. I put away £125 a month to cover all the annual bills (car bills, tank of heating oil). I also save a bit towards an annual holiday. Food and fuel are around £250 a month. Leaves me about £200 a month pocket money, which is plenty.
I do earn extra from self employment (about £5k a year), and most of that money gets saved up and spent on luxuries like cars and watches, or home improvements.
I think I'm doing pretty well with a total income of around £1400 a month after tax, almost half of which is "disposable". If I want something, I can generally just get it, without going short elsewhere.
I do earn extra from self employment (about £5k a year), and most of that money gets saved up and spent on luxuries like cars and watches, or home improvements.
I think I'm doing pretty well with a total income of around £1400 a month after tax, almost half of which is "disposable". If I want something, I can generally just get it, without going short elsewhere.
It’s also a source of argument in our family, and both of us earn rather more than the OP and his wife.
My cynical father would describe it in terms of “It’s always the man who goes to the bar”.
In our case, we can both earn it just fine. We’re just less good at managing expenditure - but (IMO because I earn 2x her salary) I have more interest in working out where it goes because I feel like I have more to lose if my salary falls.
OP definitely time to sit down and produce a costs spreadsheet. Then set up an account (joint or in your name) and run all joint expenditure through it. Everything else is discretionary spending.
My cynical father would describe it in terms of “It’s always the man who goes to the bar”.
In our case, we can both earn it just fine. We’re just less good at managing expenditure - but (IMO because I earn 2x her salary) I have more interest in working out where it goes because I feel like I have more to lose if my salary falls.
OP definitely time to sit down and produce a costs spreadsheet. Then set up an account (joint or in your name) and run all joint expenditure through it. Everything else is discretionary spending.
Edited by OMITN on Sunday 17th June 09:31
stevensdrs said:
£1200 a month is living in luxury, so you are not being mean at all. Do a budget on what is being spent and where, and see if spending is excessive. I run a house,( no mortgage), 2 cars and 7 cats on less than that.
It really depends on what you view as luxury. A lot of people would not be happy at all on that sort of budget.NEWANON4 said:
...I pay the mortgage, house insurance, life insurance, utilities, council tax, netflix, internet and both car insurance and tax. Basically all the bills. I also pay for any car repairs, holidays & house maintenance.
My partner has ...£1200 per month.
From that they have to pay for their mobile bill (£30pm), petrol, clothes, hair, nails and household groceries for use two and our autistic child.
My partner thinks this is not possible...
?
£1200 is an awful lot, get a breakdown of where this entitled woman is spending it.My partner has ...£1200 per month.
From that they have to pay for their mobile bill (£30pm), petrol, clothes, hair, nails and household groceries for use two and our autistic child.
My partner thinks this is not possible...
?
hyphen said:
NEWANON4 said:
...I pay the mortgage, house insurance, life insurance, utilities, council tax, netflix, internet and both car insurance and tax. Basically all the bills. I also pay for any car repairs, holidays & house maintenance.
My partner has ...£1200 per month.
From that they have to pay for their mobile bill (£30pm), petrol, clothes, hair, nails and household groceries for use two and our autistic child.
My partner thinks this is not possible...
?
£1200 is an awful lot, get a breakdown of where this entitled woman is spending it.My partner has ...£1200 per month.
From that they have to pay for their mobile bill (£30pm), petrol, clothes, hair, nails and household groceries for use two and our autistic child.
My partner thinks this is not possible...
?
NDA said:
Hard to say....
I know someone recently divorced who has to pay everything on £1600 a month - no school fees and no mortgage, but everything else. It means living quite frugally.
Funnily enough, was talking to a friend of Mrs C' who has been left in almost exactly this position (£1800/month). She was saying that, whilst some people would think that is a reasonable amount, to go from basically never having to think about money to having to make sure that £1800 lasts the month without too obviously trashing the standard of living for her 2 girls has been bloody hardI know someone recently divorced who has to pay everything on £1600 a month - no school fees and no mortgage, but everything else. It means living quite frugally.
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