How do you deal with really rude builder?

How do you deal with really rude builder?

Author
Discussion

Leicesterdave

Original Poster:

2,282 posts

179 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
I've had my roof done over the last 2 days and this guy is like ' trust me' 'on my kids life' etc which to be fair set alarm bells ringing but (rightly or wrongly) his review on checkatrade and ALL other review website stacked up and said how polite and good he was. I decided to go with the reviews rather than my gut instinct....

He made loads of rude little comments like 'Look you're an intelligent guy no? It's common sense' in that real patronising way when I asked him a couple of questions.

Then they finished the job, went up to the loft a couple of hours later and noticed it dripping a bit. Called him back to be told that he was tired and basically really had a ps off attitude towards me.

I never get tradespeople- I pay in good faith (in this case £950) and get treated like crap if I dare question something going wrong. In fact even on the job the guy just shows very little respect.

I'm not a particular large fella and always wonder if I was built like a tank whether they'd have the same attitude? Who knows.

Either way he is coming back today to have a look at it, but I just know he'll be FULL of attitude and a part of me just wants to answer back- should I? I'm sure they know you depend on them to rectify and job and won't have the guts to tell them what's what.

Just can't believe you've got to think the above just when you're employing someone for a day's work.... I'd never even think of speaking to my customers like that, and I do get some lip from them!

greygoose

8,225 posts

194 months

Friday 13th December 2019
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Sadly there seem to be a lot of rubbish tradesmen out there who are dreadful at communicating with customers. Good luck getting it resolved.

dieselgrunt

685 posts

163 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
Did you check any references or reviews ?

greygoose

8,225 posts

194 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
dieselgrunt said:
Did you check any references or reviews ?
He does say his reviews on checkatrade were good, though I am never sure how those sites are audited (if at all).

DonkeyApple

54,925 posts

168 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
Leicesterdave said:
I've had my roof done over the last 2 days and this guy is like ' trust me' 'on my kids life' etc which to be fair set alarm bells ringing but (rightly or wrongly) his review on checkatrade and ALL other review website stacked up and said how polite and good he was. I decided to go with the reviews rather than my gut instinct....

He made loads of rude little comments like 'Look you're an intelligent guy no? It's common sense' in that real patronising way when I asked him a couple of questions.

Then they finished the job, went up to the loft a couple of hours later and noticed it dripping a bit. Called him back to be told that he was tired and basically really had a ps off attitude towards me.

I never get tradespeople- I pay in good faith (in this case £950) and get treated like crap if I dare question something going wrong. In fact even on the job the guy just shows very little respect.

I'm not a particular large fella and always wonder if I was built like a tank whether they'd have the same attitude? Who knows.

Either way he is coming back today to have a look at it, but I just know he'll be FULL of attitude and a part of me just wants to answer back- should I? I'm sure they know you depend on them to rectify and job and won't have the guts to tell them what's what.

Just can't believe you've got to think the above just when you're employing someone for a day's work.... I'd never even think of speaking to my customers like that, and I do get some lip from them!
It’s just a particular type of bloke. It doesn’t matter whether you’re particularly short, of non who’re skin, or well spoken etc etc, they will just have the view that they are superior and that also you are part of the group who are holding them down which gives them that classic chip as well.

Frankly, they are the type of bloke that once you punch them in the face they will be your beat friend forever as they settle into a comfortable beta Male position.

And with tradesfolk they often manage to combine this with being tooth suckers at the same time.

You either have to just let it go and rationalise that these are the ‘little’ men who you have to deal with every so often or you you need to look them in the eye and ask them plainly what they are playing at.

The problem is that once you let the first passive aggressive comment pass it sets the die and releases them. I would suggest that going forward you learn to simply say ‘pardon?’ when one of these schmucks cross your path again and when they rephrase their remark to be polite (which they will because they have two languages, one for people they respect and another for the ones they don’t) you simply reply ‘That’s better’ while keeping eye contact.

I’m a very mellow person and Indont relish confrontation and while being tall has stopped many of these types before they start I have learned over the years the importance of nipping then in the bud instantly by a simple out patronising and gentle putting back in their box.

At the end of the day, just be grateful you’re not their wife.

Taylor James

3,111 posts

60 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
There's a higher than average percentage of this type in the building trades. They frequently talk to each other like st and that sometimes leaks into their behaviour with customers.

Don't give the guy any excuse not to fix the problem or he will take it. Save any comments - if they are really worth it - until the job is done properly.

WinstonWolf

72,857 posts

238 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
DonkeyApple said:
Leicesterdave said:
I've had my roof done over the last 2 days and this guy is like ' trust me' 'on my kids life' etc which to be fair set alarm bells ringing but (rightly or wrongly) his review on checkatrade and ALL other review website stacked up and said how polite and good he was. I decided to go with the reviews rather than my gut instinct....

He made loads of rude little comments like 'Look you're an intelligent guy no? It's common sense' in that real patronising way when I asked him a couple of questions.

Then they finished the job, went up to the loft a couple of hours later and noticed it dripping a bit. Called him back to be told that he was tired and basically really had a ps off attitude towards me.

I never get tradespeople- I pay in good faith (in this case £950) and get treated like crap if I dare question something going wrong. In fact even on the job the guy just shows very little respect.

I'm not a particular large fella and always wonder if I was built like a tank whether they'd have the same attitude? Who knows.

Either way he is coming back today to have a look at it, but I just know he'll be FULL of attitude and a part of me just wants to answer back- should I? I'm sure they know you depend on them to rectify and job and won't have the guts to tell them what's what.

Just can't believe you've got to think the above just when you're employing someone for a day's work.... I'd never even think of speaking to my customers like that, and I do get some lip from them!
It’s just a particular type of bloke. It doesn’t matter whether you’re particularly short, of non who’re skin, or well spoken etc etc, they will just have the view that they are superior and that also you are part of the group who are holding them down which gives them that classic chip as well.

Frankly, they are the type of bloke that once you punch them in the face they will be your beat friend forever as they settle into a comfortable beta Male position.

And with tradesfolk they often manage to combine this with being tooth suckers at the same time.

You either have to just let it go and rationalise that these are the ‘little’ men who you have to deal with every so often or you you need to look them in the eye and ask them plainly what they are playing at.

The problem is that once you let the first passive aggressive comment pass it sets the die and releases them. I would suggest that going forward you learn to simply say ‘pardon?’ when one of these schmucks cross your path again and when they rephrase their remark to be polite (which they will because they have two languages, one for people they respect and another for the ones they don’t) you simply reply ‘That’s better’ while keeping eye contact.

I’m a very mellow person and Indont relish confrontation and while being tall has stopped many of these types before they start I have learned over the years the importance of nipping then in the bud instantly by a simple out patronising and gentle putting back in their box.

At the end of the day, just be grateful you’re not their wife.
I'm guessing you had a bad experience with a builder? hehe

Thales

619 posts

56 months

Friday 13th December 2019
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DonkeyApple said:
Frankly, they are the type of bloke that once you punch them in the face they will be your beat friend forever as they settle into a comfortable beta Male position.
Cringe.

Andeh1

7,107 posts

205 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
it's common OP, and this will be the lesson you learn.

Checkatrade etc are generally useless for getting a true indication of quality. Many of the reviews will be from mates & easy job customers, those customers who have been shafted will be less likely to lead bad reviews (he knows where I live, and I am too polite'') and Checkatrade want to keep the builders happy & paying their fees so i am sure help fudge it all behind the scene.

You can't beat a local, recommended builder, where you can see their work & speak to previous customers first hand.

Just let it wash over you, accept this is his little way of making him feel better about himself and stay fair and reasonable in what you ask of him, and in the way you approach it.

MOST OF ALL - Don't pay the final balance until you are happy with the work! You remain in power until you pay him in full.

Aluminati

2,475 posts

57 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
Chekatrade ?hehe

DonkeyApple

54,925 posts

168 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
WinstonWolf said:
I'm guessing you had a bad experience with a builder? hehe
Not yet. We’re lucky our here that you don’t have to work all that hard to find really nice, professional companies that come with viable personal recommendations. But being a born and bred Londoner of 46 years I am more than aware of the blokes who change their attitude in farcical volte face depending on how bullish they feel on pushing people about. The same tradesman can be perfect on one job and gauge the eyes out of a punter on another.

Hoofy

76,253 posts

281 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
If it's more hassle than it's worth, perhaps take the £950 on the chin (he's done most of the work?) and get someone else in but don't pay up front.

Lotobear

6,232 posts

127 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
Do as you likey?

V8RX7

26,765 posts

262 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
I have run building sites and employed builders personally and also worked as one.

You have to bear in mind that generally they aren't the brightest, educationally speaking.

They may have a chip on their shoulder and they may be jealous of your house / car / wife

They really don't like being questioned so you have to phrase questions carefully

I tend to mirror attitudes - if they are rude, I'm rude back however this depends what state your house is in and how much money has been paid, I've mollycoddled many because I'd be in a worse position if they walked.

I've never had a builder walk away but I have thrown a few off site and I have picked up the pieces after others have walked off.

Really after they have carried out a significant amount of work, the best you can do is minimise your loss.

Online reviews are frequently useless - many sites won't let you leave negative reviews - including checkatrade

Foliage

3,861 posts

121 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
You just need to put these kinda tradesman in their place.

Leicesterdave

Original Poster:

2,282 posts

179 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
He's been this am, rectified it (although obviously time will tell if it's really fixed it) but the attitude stunk.

I told him about his lack of respect but he just wouldn't have it, telling me I'm getting too much into it.

Just a wind up merchant but if my roof is now fixed it's best just to leave alone. I envy people who know tradesmen they can trust, it's got to be worth its weight in gold!

Hoofy

76,253 posts

281 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
Leicesterdave said:
He's been this am, rectified it (although obviously time will tell if it's really fixed it) but the attitude stunk.

I told him about his lack of respect but he just wouldn't have it, telling me I'm getting too much into it.

Just a wind up merchant but if my roof is now fixed it's best just to leave alone. I envy people who know tradesmen they can trust, it's got to be worth its weight in gold!
Phew.

Next time ask a neighbour for recommendations.

eldar

21,614 posts

195 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
greygoose said:
He does say his reviews on checkatrade were good, though I am never sure how those sites are audited (if at all).
Owned by British Gas. Decent tradespeople will put you in touch with proper past customers.





alorotom

11,908 posts

186 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
eldar said:
greygoose said:
He does say his reviews on checkatrade were good, though I am never sure how those sites are audited (if at all).
Owned by British Gas. Decent tradespeople will put you in touch with proper past customers.
Easily faked though and I've fallen foul to this in the past with tradespeople and ex-tennants

poo at Paul's

14,116 posts

174 months

Friday 13th December 2019
quotequote all
I had two guys come to put in 8k of granite worktops (15 years ago so was a decent size job). I felt I had to keep my eye on them a bit, as one guys eemed quite careful, the other a bit of a gobby pratt. We had some unusual shapes being put in , and they needed to drill some holes, the gobby bloke kept being rude, as I was double checking they knew where things were going (another bloke measured up) and in the end he said "don't you have anything better to do?"/ So I explained I just anted it to all go to plan, if he was happy he knew what was needed, to get on with it but call me in if they were unsure. The VERY FIRST taphole they had to cut, (two holes one big one small for a filter tap, they went and drilled the wrong way around. What a pair of tts! So this was in a piece of 3m long granite with three cutouts, very fragile, now needed another piece making (about £1200). HIs boss went metal, so then he just became a total pratt. About an hour later, he is bodging a window sill in, and I thought, why is that sitting above the edge of the window, and the other is an inch below…. he said the sill was wobbly, (bks) so I lifted it up and he had over an inch of plastic spacers and gripfill under it......it basically was because he could not be arsed to cut the upstand down to the correct height! His mate was embarrassed I caught them, and apologised, but this pratt set off on one, saying he didn't have time to waste on it, needed to get home, (it was 230pm! ). My plumber was there, and he still laughs about it, as I just told him to fk off, move his van off my drive, and sit in it until his mate finished the job, or I would not pay them anything (I only paid £1k so far).
He thought i was joking, but in marched him t the door, and made him move the van, told him if he didn't , I would. He was acting like a spoit kid, so I treated him like one.
Other guy finished the job with the bits he had, he was a nice guy and proper mortified. Boss came back with him and the new bit 2 weeks later, fixed that, but never fitted the last bit, that needed a cutout, I ended up finishing it myself. I paid them all bar £1500, waiting for the last bit but as they never did it, I never paid them.

Sometimes you just know someone is a pratt. Shame as the boss was great, his mate was great and the granite was and still is immaculate, not moved and mm, looks like the day it was fitted 15 years on. But sometimes you can only take so much before you have to cut your losses and say, tell you what sunshine, why don't you just fk off and go sit outside in the road until the adults finish.