There's a "wild" polecat in our house

[alfie2244]

Would it be reasonable to expect the RSPCA to at least help with it's extraction from under our setee?

[Brads67]

Just coax it out with a sausage and pick it up.

If it`s under your couch, it`s a ferret and will have been handled plenty before , so be brave and get on with it.

[mybrainhurts]

Pull yourself together, man....Tally Ho and never mind the blood.

We didn't win two world wars, waiting for the bloody RSPCA....

PS....sure it's not a camel?

[alfie2244]

It's 100% wild polecat and has been chased around the house by the dogs. I mispent a lot of my youth rabbiting with ferrets and X polecats so know 1st hand how the blighters can nip....There is no way I am putting my hands under a settee to try and grab it but I have dug out some old leather kart racing gloves but wife is refusing to put them on at the moment.

[anonymous-user]

Check which one of your thumbs is the fattest, dip the winner in a jar of marmite and proffer said thumb to hiding creature, you might have to suffer a couple of nibbles before it bites down and is safely latched on, then leave the house with polecat still attached, it will eventually release itself and scamper off to eat anything in sight.

[alfie2244]

Vandenberg said:

Check which one of your thumbs is the fattest, dip the winner in a jar of marmite and proffer said thumb to hiding creature, you might have to suffer a couple of nibbles before it bites down and is safely latched on, then leave the house with polecat still attached, it will eventually release itself and scamper off to eat anything in sight.

I'm on blood thinners but will tell the wife your suggestion.

[mybrainhurts]

alfie2244 said:

I have dug out some old leather kart racing gloves but wife is refusing to put them on at the moment.

You need to trade her in for a new one.....

[Boosted LS1]

Can you put the dogs elsewhere and then open the doors and windows before moving the settee? Give it an exit to bolt through. perhaps you could get your wife to put her curlers in. That should do the trick. :-)

[alfie2244]

mybrainhurts said:

alfie2244 said:

I have dug out some old leather kart racing gloves but wife is refusing to put them on at the moment.

You need to trade her in for a new one.....

She is the new one

[mybrainhurts]

alfie2244 said:

mybrainhurts said:

alfie2244 said:

I have dug out some old leather kart racing gloves but wife is refusing to put them on at the moment.

You need to trade her in for a new one.....

She is the new one

You never learn, do you...

[alfie2244]

Boosted LS1 said:

Can you put the dogs elsewhere and then open the doors and windows before moving the settee? Give it an exit to bolt through. perhaps you could get your wife to put her curlers in. That should do the trick. :-)

I have a confession to make....our dogs can open the internal doors so she dragged drag them screaming and kicking down to the MIL's house while I stood guard.

After numerous phone calls, many to machines, we got to a human at the RSPCA........explained the situation with difficulty............call back 1 hr later...........sorry we can't help so can you put it in a box take it to local vets?

We then did exactly what you suggested but it took some time as we had to make a clear path from the living room to the back door.........then a foot at a time I dragged the settee through 3 rooms and the dear thing obligingly moved with it.........eventually it made a dash for it once we were within a foot of the door..............move furniture back and collected 2 very excited dogs and am now posting about it on a forum..........No sight or sound of RSPCA though.

ps Wife did stand guard with a mop but her services weren't required in the end but may have to consider finding a braver replacement if it happens again.

[alfie2244]

mybrainhurts said:

alfie2244 said:

mybrainhurts said:

alfie2244 said:

I have dug out some old leather kart racing gloves but wife is refusing to put them on at the moment.

You need to trade her in for a new one.....

She is the new one

You never learn, do you...

No fool like and old fool but she is / was a nurse so may come in handy sometime.

[Yipper]

Nobody ever died by polecat. It was prolly more scared of you. They were nearly extinct a few years ago and are now making a comeback in England and Wales (but struggling in Scotland). Good to hear it got away unharmed.

[randlemarcus]

RSPCA won't help, as there's probably nobody to prosecute. Apart from you, and they now have your number

[alfie2244]

Yipper said:

Nobody ever died by polecat. It was prolly more scared of you. They were nearly extinct a few years ago and are now making a comeback in England and Wales (but struggling in Scotland). Good to hear it got away unharmed.

Truly a beautiful animal, I've seen wild stoats and obviously domesticated ferrets / polecats before. I would think a wild, scared and cornered polecat could have made a bit of a mess of the Mrs or god forbid our dogs' noses if it really felt threatened.....not impressed by the RSPCA though.

randlemarcus said:

RSPCA won't help, as there's probably nobody to prosecute. Apart from you, and they now have your number

Certainly felt like that..... me injure an endangered species could have been a good case for them

Edited by alfie2244 on Tuesday 25th July 15:19

[mybrainhurts]

Had I been in your predicament, I'd have called in an animal rights activist and stuffed her arm under the settee...

[Boosted LS1]

Good result OP.

[alfie2244]

Boosted LS1 said:

Good result OP.

Thanks...was all good fun in a way...........not sure it has fully gone away as the dogs keep showing an interest in the space under our raised decking.

[mybrainhurts]

It's laid an egg in your settee...

You're in for it when it hatches out in the middle of the night...

Did you watch Alien?

[Boosted LS1]

Anything's better then an Abbot!