Stupid things your pets/animals do.

Stupid things your pets/animals do.

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Fermit and Sexy Sarah

Original Poster:

12,787 posts

99 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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We have two cats, one is still in the child phase, maybe 16 months old (a Greek street cat, so no exact idea) She's a nob. When we renovated the front room I went to great lengths to find the thinnest sub cable I could, to put it under the wood floor, £80. To have the sub discretely tucked away, the opposite side of the room to the amp. The little git has only been behind the cable-tastic set up, pulled the phono pin off it, and lost it somewhere, no way to replace this cable. Sub now next to the front speakers. Cheers Cooking Fat!

Last year one of Mum & Dads Greys thought their Christmas tree was fair play to take a piss up. Christmas Eve, 'what's that smell?' EVERY bodies presents dripping yellow water. The other of their Greys a few months ago stole an entire freshly made Apple Crumble from their kitchen work top.

What tales have you got where your animals have been what can only be described as dick-headish?

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Friday 21st December 18:18

Smoggy XJR

550 posts

69 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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One of mine, Monty, (that's the one that put me in hospital for a week, but that's another tale), when getting up off my lap won't walk quietly onto one of the 4 pieces of conveniently placed furniture. No. He insists he has to use my left, (or right, depending on his mood), testicle as a launch pad as he tries to get to escape velocity.

Is home taxidermy easy?

anonymous-user

53 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Serves you both right for having a cat!

A dog would never be a knob wink

dudleybloke

19,718 posts

185 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Cat wants to get on kitchen windowsill, so instead of jumping up to the left of the sink onto an empty worktop then walking calmly to the windowsill, she jumps up onto the draining board when it's full of crockery, knocking plates etc to the floor and getting cat all over the clean stuff.
If she's not doing that she will try and jump onto the cooker while you are cooking.

Bloody stupid fur beast.

NNH

1,515 posts

131 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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We have two German Shepherd puppies, and the girl gets very affectionate just after she's taken a big bite of her brother's poo. The stench is horrifying.

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

Original Poster:

12,787 posts

99 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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garyhun said:
Serves you both right for having a cat!

A dog would never be a knob wink
We've got 3 of them too laugh

One that one of them did. Sarah lets the dogs lick the plates and the like in the dishwasher. One time our Dobe X got his collar caught on something on the tray, and launched himself and the entire contents across the kitchen floor rolleyes

Mexman

2,442 posts

83 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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8 month old Labrador puppies first Christmas, and a Christmas tree.
You can guess the rest.

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

Original Poster:

12,787 posts

99 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Mexman said:
8 month old Labrador puppies first Christmas, and a Christmas tree.
You can guess the rest.
HAHAHAHA, indeed!

One of these may be your friend, it worked to quickly persuade said child cat that it's not a toy!


juice

8,511 posts

281 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
We've got 3 of them too laugh

One that one of them did. Sarah lets the dogs lick the plates and the like in the dishwasher. One time our Dobe X got his collar caught on something on the tray, and launched himself and the entire contents across the kitchen floor rolleyes
rofl

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Oh where do I start?

One Christmas Morning we came downstairs to find the cat on the floor, enjoying his turkey...................

I have one cat (now banished from the bedroom) who would at 3am (and yes, I would check the clock and it was within 10 mins of 3am every fecking time, how did she know?) bite me in the face then demand attention...

I have a dog who gets so excited about his dinner than about 30% of the time he runs off down the garden without it..... I have to call him back, then he collects his prize and runs back off down the garden.....

I have one dog who appears to somehow be magentised to the bath mat. As soon as it hits the bathroom floor, she is on it. And doesn't want to move, so getting out of the shower involved a contortionist routine...

I have one dog who will, at the speed of light, get behind you and lay down. This means if you are making a cup of coffee. you can begin to turn towards the fridge and nearly fall over the dog that wasn't there half a second ago....

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

Original Poster:

12,787 posts

99 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Another one from me. Said Dobe has learnt to use door handles. We have had to fit door knobs downstairs, everywhere, as otherwise we woke up to a 55kg dog at the foot of the bed.

FiF

43,965 posts

250 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Dogs can definitely be knobs. Ours would make a perfect Pets as Therapy dog, unless there was a plate of biscuits in the room, and he'd just position next to them and refuse to shift. Clients can come to him.

Stealing stuff is his speciality. You get into the habit of placing stuff to avoid counter surfing, but occasionally you slip and hat / gloves are placed conveniently when just in from a dog walk. And of course you forget. It's that casual walk in managing to combine holding a glove together with an up yours st eating grin that grinds the gears.

He's also learnt the gesture of a flick of the head to say, come on then, shift your arse. Which is a bit annoying when he stands in front of the chair, looks you in the eyes, flicks his head to suggest shift it buddy, so you get up to let him or take him out, only to find out what he really wanted was to nick your seat. Knob.

Pothole

34,367 posts

281 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Eric has gnawed a hole in his comfy dog bed and has now pulled a good 1/3 of the stuffing out. It's like it's snowed in the dining room when we come down in the mornings! The bed can't be so comfy anymore. He's also happy to push any door open, except the back door which opens inwards so would be useful to let him in from the garden...he just stands outside looking at it. I left him for over 10 minutes once. Dozy hound.

wjb

5,100 posts

130 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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My dog, a husky/Swiss shepherd mix, is an utter bellend, she's calmed down now she's 6 but when she was younger her highlights included, stealing a chicken carcuss off the kitchen worktop and trying to swallow it whole.

Stealing and opening an entire tin of roses at Xmas and eating half the chocolate with zero ill effects.

All of a sudden forgetting the recall I spent 2 years teaching her and then Refusing to return in the dog park, giving 6 dog owners the runaround for just under an hour.

The list is endless...

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

Original Poster:

12,787 posts

99 months

Friday 21st December 2018
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Any more out there with fun tales, some great ones so far!

juice

8,511 posts

281 months

Saturday 22nd December 2018
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Oscar will get up unannounced off the Sofa and jump onto the other one. It's only after a few seconds then you get the SMELL. The little sod gets up, stretches and farts. Then moves to the other sofa cos he doesn't like the smell. Cheers buddy !!

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

Original Poster:

12,787 posts

99 months

Saturday 22nd December 2018
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But on the flip side, aint dogs great for blaming the smell on!

Saleen836

11,061 posts

208 months

Saturday 22nd December 2018
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Not mine but this popped up on my FB earlier...
The look on the poor dogs face
https://www.facebook.com/LiamTuffsOfficial/videos/...

(Contains swearing)

Anyone had this happen to them?

andburg

7,214 posts

168 months

Saturday 22nd December 2018
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Without fail, wake up every morning to find the cat has shat on the floor.

We’ve tried every litter tray and type, on the floor and elevated and it’s made no difference! At night she is now confined to the utility room so we don’t have to go looking!

Worst bit, when we go away and she stays with family or friends she uses the tray without fail!!

Cfnteabag

1,195 posts

195 months

Saturday 22nd December 2018
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We have three cats, a mum and 2 kittens now nearly 2 years old. The male kitten likes to crap in the bath, he must save it the whole time he is out because they are massive gooey poos that are half the size of him.

His sister likes to pee on clothes, might be in the washing basket, in the kids wardrobe if they leave it open or worst of all on freshly dried washing that you have just brought in and put down ready to take upstairs next time you go up!

Their mum has a very short attention span for anyone apart from me, the kids are all scared of her as she goes from enjoying a fuss to a spitting clawed monster in about half a second!

Bloody idiots