Coping with grief
Discussion
We lost our little man 3 weeks ago today, he was only 11 & was the 2nd dog we've lost in the last 2.5yrs.
It does get easier, it really does. I've never felt grief like it when I lost my spaniel but now, 2.5yrs later I mostly look back with very fond memories & we can have a good chuckle about his many (mis)adventures!
It does get easier, it really does. I've never felt grief like it when I lost my spaniel but now, 2.5yrs later I mostly look back with very fond memories & we can have a good chuckle about his many (mis)adventures!
Good morning all.
First I want to reiterate my thanks to all of you for your replies and thoughts, and I also want to say again that my heart goes out to all those other owners who've lost their little side-kicks.
Who knew pets could create so much grief?
I'm slowly coming to terms with everything but I've had family visiting so while I've been distracted, I've not had "alone" time to process everything in my head.
Mornings are now very dull and quiet. I miss my girl jumping up to greet me and I regret the days I was in a hurry to get to work and I ignored her. The garden is now looking pristine without any poop and I'm considering removing the fence extensions I installed to prevent Lady escaping.
I've also noticed weird things like my robo vacuum being mostly empty when I clear the bucket in the morning. When we had Lady, the bucket would be full of her hairs every morning! Honey doesn't shed hairs much so it's more or less empty and full of leftover crumbs that she would otherwise eat up.
I accidentally called out her name without thinking a couple of times when letting Honey out to do her night-time pee before I took her up to our room at night. In the past, both dogs would tear out of the house at full pelt (Lady ahead by far), and they would run up the road and back again before having a quick pee on the grass. I shouted out Lady's name stopping short feeling like a muppet and also very down.
Still, that was a few days back and I do feel better.
We also received the vet bill which I was dreading, but she was very kind and gave us some big discounts for everything. She also remove the charge for euthanising Lady altogether which was thoughtful in an odd way.
Next week we need to collect her ashes and I'm dreading that. I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. Let's see what we do as Lady was her dog too.
So there we have it. Slow but steady progress I guess, but I miss my little girl intensely.
First I want to reiterate my thanks to all of you for your replies and thoughts, and I also want to say again that my heart goes out to all those other owners who've lost their little side-kicks.
Who knew pets could create so much grief?
I'm slowly coming to terms with everything but I've had family visiting so while I've been distracted, I've not had "alone" time to process everything in my head.
Mornings are now very dull and quiet. I miss my girl jumping up to greet me and I regret the days I was in a hurry to get to work and I ignored her. The garden is now looking pristine without any poop and I'm considering removing the fence extensions I installed to prevent Lady escaping.
I've also noticed weird things like my robo vacuum being mostly empty when I clear the bucket in the morning. When we had Lady, the bucket would be full of her hairs every morning! Honey doesn't shed hairs much so it's more or less empty and full of leftover crumbs that she would otherwise eat up.
I accidentally called out her name without thinking a couple of times when letting Honey out to do her night-time pee before I took her up to our room at night. In the past, both dogs would tear out of the house at full pelt (Lady ahead by far), and they would run up the road and back again before having a quick pee on the grass. I shouted out Lady's name stopping short feeling like a muppet and also very down.
Still, that was a few days back and I do feel better.
We also received the vet bill which I was dreading, but she was very kind and gave us some big discounts for everything. She also remove the charge for euthanising Lady altogether which was thoughtful in an odd way.
Next week we need to collect her ashes and I'm dreading that. I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. Let's see what we do as Lady was her dog too.
So there we have it. Slow but steady progress I guess, but I miss my little girl intensely.
beanbag said:
Good morning all.
First I want to reiterate my thanks to all of you for your replies and thoughts, and I also want to say again that my heart goes out to all those other owners who've lost their little side-kicks.
Who knew pets could create so much grief?
I'm slowly coming to terms with everything but I've had family visiting so while I've been distracted, I've not had "alone" time to process everything in my head.
Mornings are now very dull and quiet. I miss my girl jumping up to greet me and I regret the days I was in a hurry to get to work and I ignored her. The garden is now looking pristine without any poop and I'm considering removing the fence extensions I installed to prevent Lady escaping.
I've also noticed weird things like my robo vacuum being mostly empty when I clear the bucket in the morning. When we had Lady, the bucket would be full of her hairs every morning! Honey doesn't shed hairs much so it's more or less empty and full of leftover crumbs that she would otherwise eat up.
I accidentally called out her name without thinking a couple of times when letting Honey out to do her night-time pee before I took her up to our room at night. In the past, both dogs would tear out of the house at full pelt (Lady ahead by far), and they would run up the road and back again before having a quick pee on the grass. I shouted out Lady's name stopping short feeling like a muppet and also very down.
Still, that was a few days back and I do feel better.
We also received the vet bill which I was dreading, but she was very kind and gave us some big discounts for everything. She also remove the charge for euthanising Lady altogether which was thoughtful in an odd way.
Next week we need to collect her ashes and I'm dreading that. I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. Let's see what we do as Lady was her dog too.
So there we have it. Slow but steady progress I guess, but I miss my little girl intensely.
Thanks for the update op and all the best.First I want to reiterate my thanks to all of you for your replies and thoughts, and I also want to say again that my heart goes out to all those other owners who've lost their little side-kicks.
Who knew pets could create so much grief?
I'm slowly coming to terms with everything but I've had family visiting so while I've been distracted, I've not had "alone" time to process everything in my head.
Mornings are now very dull and quiet. I miss my girl jumping up to greet me and I regret the days I was in a hurry to get to work and I ignored her. The garden is now looking pristine without any poop and I'm considering removing the fence extensions I installed to prevent Lady escaping.
I've also noticed weird things like my robo vacuum being mostly empty when I clear the bucket in the morning. When we had Lady, the bucket would be full of her hairs every morning! Honey doesn't shed hairs much so it's more or less empty and full of leftover crumbs that she would otherwise eat up.
I accidentally called out her name without thinking a couple of times when letting Honey out to do her night-time pee before I took her up to our room at night. In the past, both dogs would tear out of the house at full pelt (Lady ahead by far), and they would run up the road and back again before having a quick pee on the grass. I shouted out Lady's name stopping short feeling like a muppet and also very down.
Still, that was a few days back and I do feel better.
We also received the vet bill which I was dreading, but she was very kind and gave us some big discounts for everything. She also remove the charge for euthanising Lady altogether which was thoughtful in an odd way.
Next week we need to collect her ashes and I'm dreading that. I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. Let's see what we do as Lady was her dog too.
So there we have it. Slow but steady progress I guess, but I miss my little girl intensely.
beanbag said:
Next week we need to collect her ashes and I'm dreading that. I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. Let's see what we do as Lady was her dog too.
I would strongly advise taking time to think about this too - I buried the ashes of my first dog to die in the back garden, because that's what my parents had always done, and I have always regretted it - particularly as I have since moved
You could always compromise and scatter some ashes but keep some too.
beanbag said:
It's been....
Hi beanbag, I'm sorry you're not doing too well. You are possibly suffering complicated loss and I think you would benefit from talking to someone who specializes in bereavement. I think Blue Cross offer a free pet bereavement phoneline, perhaps you could give them a ring if you feel up to it?beanbag said:
Next week we need to collect her ashes and I'm dreading that.
I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. .
Ask a doggy friend to collect them for you. If you feel your heard may not be in it, safest not to drive. If it is near me I will get them for you.I suggested to my wife spreading her ashes in her favourite places, but she has asked for more time to think about it and suggested keeping her in one place. .
In terms of ashes, may I also suggest you consider memories in glass - just an idea. We also planted a tree with a tiny bit of the ashes under..
A sad read, but a topic with great humanity.
A good friend lost her relatively young Rottweiler cross last year- she was devastated. I didn't really get it at the time and thought she was going a bit overboard. A year later and I have my own dogs now, for just three months so far, and completely understand how attached you become.
I hope OP is feeling better - you have by sincere sympathies.
A good friend lost her relatively young Rottweiler cross last year- she was devastated. I didn't really get it at the time and thought she was going a bit overboard. A year later and I have my own dogs now, for just three months so far, and completely understand how attached you become.
I hope OP is feeling better - you have by sincere sympathies.
I've 'lost' 3 over the years, all were painfully upsetting but over time that eases. They'll always have a place in my memories, mostly happy but tinged with sadness but unfortunately that's the deal.
My latest 2 are absolutely adorable labradors, 4 and 2. I try not to think about how awful it'll be when they go but threads like this bring those thoughts to the fore, just wish we got to have a bit longer with them.
Hope you're starting to feel better op, give it time and when you're ready another one will be along to share your life.
My latest 2 are absolutely adorable labradors, 4 and 2. I try not to think about how awful it'll be when they go but threads like this bring those thoughts to the fore, just wish we got to have a bit longer with them.
Hope you're starting to feel better op, give it time and when you're ready another one will be along to share your life.
I'm a 53 year old man not known for being emotional but sitting here crying whilst I type this as our little man passed away at 8.45 this morning - a long fight that he had fought very well against cancer but there is only ever one end
We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
medieval said:
I'm a 53 year old man not known for being emotional but sitting here crying whilst I type this as our little man passed away at 8.45 this morning - a long fight that he had fought very well against cancer but there is only ever one end
We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
Sorry to read this.We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
We never stop loving them.
It does get easier with time, but just when you think all the grieving is done it catches you out
medieval said:
I'm a 53 year old man not known for being emotional but sitting here crying whilst I type this as our little man passed away at 8.45 this morning - a long fight that he had fought very well against cancer but there is only ever one end
We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
So very sorry. I'm thinking of you - they do take a piece of your heart with them.We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
medieval said:
I'm a 53 year old man not known for being emotional but sitting here crying whilst I type this as our little man passed away at 8.45 this morning - a long fight that he had fought very well against cancer but there is only ever one end
We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
Always sad to read these stories. We did not think he would last the night as he declined so rapidly but he was there in the morning albeit with so little energy and we had to make that final horrific journey for any dog owner to the vets but by the grace of a God he passed away in the car on the way there.
We will always love him and will be together again I know.
You just can't help loving them so much...
Phew... This thread made me misty eyed.
A lot of sad stories here, but all underpinned by the love and joy shared between carers (animals) and their pets (humans). We are so lucky to have them so we need to make everyday special!
As a kid we lost a few doggies growing up due to old age, now that we have our own I do notice the appearance of gray hairs on my girls (labs @ 11yrs and 13yrs). I am spoiling them more these days and definitely upped my hugs. When the time does come I know I did my best, and they enriched my life as much as I did theirs. Meantime I am off to give them all a cuddle (and treat).
Hugs all round!
A lot of sad stories here, but all underpinned by the love and joy shared between carers (animals) and their pets (humans). We are so lucky to have them so we need to make everyday special!
As a kid we lost a few doggies growing up due to old age, now that we have our own I do notice the appearance of gray hairs on my girls (labs @ 11yrs and 13yrs). I am spoiling them more these days and definitely upped my hugs. When the time does come I know I did my best, and they enriched my life as much as I did theirs. Meantime I am off to give them all a cuddle (and treat).
Hugs all round!
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