You know you have a dog when...

[FourWheelDrift]

hondafanatic said:

Jasandjules said:

FiF said:

... when you've finished any meal or snack you have to do the croupier style hand movements to demonstrate "All gone".

I call this the "Magic Trick".... Nothing up my sleeves, nothing in my hands.....

“All gone! All gone! Good girl! All gone”.

"Er, yes. Thank you sir I can see that. But the usual response is a tip"

[FiF]

Another thing, immediately after removing the collar and you go, "ooh, naked"

[Richard-390a0]

Every window / door has 'nose art'

[hondafanatic]

Richard-390a0 said:

Every window / door has 'nose art'

HaHa! excellent! True story.

[Starfighter]

The vacuum needs to be unclogged at least twice per use.

[Turn7]

When your car interior resembles this....




Stolen from the show us your dogs thread....

[Muzzer79]

Your lawn resembles The Somme

Your feet almost permanently ache from stepping on a half-chewed bone/toy

You spend thousands more on an estate car/SUV so that you can make it smelly by transporting a wet, muddy, furry thing in it

You stand up and within seconds someone is in your seat


I love him really.

[hondafanatic]

Muzzer79 said:

Your lawn resembles The Somme

This! It’s sooooo fking embarrassing how bad my lawn is compared to all the neighbours. We’re basically one of the only two families that are my neighbours that are not retired. Everyone else’s gardens are immaculate at a minimum, stunning being the norm. The Somme is exactly the word I use to describe what my lab has done to my lawn and the Frenchie occasionally like to join in even though he’s no idea why he’s doing it.

You know you have a dog when you realise you find yourself surprised if you ever hear a doorbell that isn’t swiftly followed by barking and scrambling to the front window.

[GAjon]

When you have Autumn leaf fall on your garden it becomes a minefield!

[MXRod]

When you read this thread ,and find you are not alone

[CooperS]

hondafanatic said:

Muzzer79 said:

Your lawn resembles The Somme

This! It’s sooooo fking embarrassing how bad my lawn is compared to all the neighbours. We’re basically one of the only two families that are my neighbours that are not retired. Everyone else’s gardens are immaculate at a minimum, stunning being the norm. The Somme is exactly the word I use to describe what my lab has done to my lawn and the Frenchie occasionally like to join in even though he’s no idea why he’s doing it.

You know you have a dog when you realise you find yourself surprised if you ever hear a doorbell that isn’t swiftly followed by barking and scrambling to the front window.

You need artificial grass!

[RobXjcoupe]

You understand what each tone of barking means

[rxe]

CAPP0 said:

You know you have a dog (or two) when it's cold outside and a full poo bag makes a handy temporary handwarmer.

Latex gloves make great poo bags. Glove on, grasp warm turd, other people look on in amazement as a bloke picks up a dog turd with his bare hands. Turn glove inside out to remove turd from hand, dump in bin. Or take it for a lap round the park on a cold day.

Best “hand warming” incident ever was with a gamekeeper mate. We were shooting roe with some rather townie, squeamish people. Knocked one over, and went over to gralloch it. Gamekeeper slit it open and shoved his hands in. The townies asked what he was doing, thinking it was some complex dissection. Gamekeeper said “fking freezing today, I’m warming my hands up.....”

[hondafanatic]

CooperS said:

hondafanatic said:

Muzzer79 said:

Your lawn resembles The Somme

This! It’s sooooo fking embarrassing how bad my lawn is compared to all the neighbours. We’re basically one of the only two families that are my neighbours that are not retired. Everyone else’s gardens are immaculate at a minimum, stunning being the norm. The Somme is exactly the word I use to describe what my lab has done to my lawn and the Frenchie occasionally like to join in even though he’s no idea why he’s doing it.

You know you have a dog when you realise you find yourself surprised if you ever hear a doorbell that isn’t swiftly followed by barking and scrambling to the front window.

You need artificial grass!

We’ve discussed this. But we don’t know anyone with it. Our uneducated conclusion was that it would end up smelling of piss in the summer and how do you deal with runny number twos which happen? For the latter I have a big water container and wash away into the soil anything I can’t pick up.

Genuine question

[fttm]

Nose art on windows , lawns are constant meh , can’t eat an orange in peace or dare to sneak some cheese from the fridge . List is endless

[mike74]

FiF said:

... when you've finished any meal or snack you have to do the croupier style hand movements to demonstrate "All gone".

Conversely you soon realise what an inconvenient pita it is having to actually dispose of any leftovers when you don't have a dog.

[Chris Type R]

hondafanatic said:

We’ve discussed this. But we don’t know anyone with it. Our uneducated conclusion was that it would end up smelling of piss in the summer and how do you deal with runny number twos which happen? For the latter I have a big water container and wash away into the soil anything I can’t pick up.

Genuine question

We have a patch of artificial lawn on top of a section of old concrete (cheaper than tiling). While we direct the dog to use the real lawn, when he does use the fake grass, generally the twos are easy enough to pick up - there are drain holes which the urine will eventually drain through - so a simple periodic hose down or relying on rain seems to work. We've not yet noticed any smells... but in our case it's on an incline and well drained.

The fake grass can be something to pull up & chew on though.

[Electronicpants]

GAjon said:

When you have Autumn leaf fall on your garden it becomes a minefield!

Ha, this is the bane of my life at the moment, wandering around on my tip toes squinting my eyes, poo bag in hand trying to decipher leaves from crap in poor light with the rain running down my neck. I've bough a petrol back pack ghost busters style blower because of this. Who you gona call? Poo busters!

[Starfighter]

You seat on the sofa is always warm.

[hondafanatic]

Chris Type R said:

hondafanatic said:

We’ve discussed this. But we don’t know anyone with it. Our uneducated conclusion was that it would end up smelling of piss in the summer and how do you deal with runny number twos which happen? For the latter I have a big water container and wash away into the soil anything I can’t pick up.

Genuine question

We have a patch of artificial lawn on top of a section of old concrete (cheaper than tiling). While we direct the dog to use the real lawn, when he does use the fake grass, generally the twos are easy enough to pick up - there are drain holes which the urine will eventually drain through - so a simple periodic hose down or relying on rain seems to work. We've not yet noticed any smells... but in our case it's on an incline and well drained.

The fake grass can be something to pull up & chew on though.

Thanks...I'll have another look into it