A note to my beloved Ruby.
Discussion
I can only add my good wishes and sympathy to you.
We lost our wonderful bulldog suddenly to a heart attack in 2008 when he was 6 so I have been in a similar position to you. We can now look back with only positive thoughts and memories of him and despite all the pain of his loss I wouldn't have been without him. They bring more joy to us when they are here and more smiles and heart warming memories when they are gone than any pain of loss can outweigh. It will take some time for you to get there but you will and that's what she would want - to be remembered with the love and affection you had for each other which will continue for the rest of your life.
We adopted a rescue Jack Russell/Pug cross about 6 months after Winston left us and he is now coming to the end of his days and is coping with pancreatitis and diabetes and I know that I will be devastated when he leaves us but I wouldn't have missed a second of having him. So keep remembering the positives and slowly they will bring only smiles not tears.
Best wishes to you.
We lost our wonderful bulldog suddenly to a heart attack in 2008 when he was 6 so I have been in a similar position to you. We can now look back with only positive thoughts and memories of him and despite all the pain of his loss I wouldn't have been without him. They bring more joy to us when they are here and more smiles and heart warming memories when they are gone than any pain of loss can outweigh. It will take some time for you to get there but you will and that's what she would want - to be remembered with the love and affection you had for each other which will continue for the rest of your life.
We adopted a rescue Jack Russell/Pug cross about 6 months after Winston left us and he is now coming to the end of his days and is coping with pancreatitis and diabetes and I know that I will be devastated when he leaves us but I wouldn't have missed a second of having him. So keep remembering the positives and slowly they will bring only smiles not tears.
Best wishes to you.
So sad to hear, and I feel for you both.
We had to do similar for our dog Poppy, although we had her for 16 years, but always remember you did the right thing for Ruby, and you will start to forget the pain, and remember the fun and crazy times.
A rescue is a good choice, when you are ready, but don't rush it. We waited 2 years before we got Bruce and we love him to bits, and always tell him about his older sister that we used to have.
Take care and remember the happy times.
We had to do similar for our dog Poppy, although we had her for 16 years, but always remember you did the right thing for Ruby, and you will start to forget the pain, and remember the fun and crazy times.
A rescue is a good choice, when you are ready, but don't rush it. We waited 2 years before we got Bruce and we love him to bits, and always tell him about his older sister that we used to have.
Take care and remember the happy times.
We've been through it a few times as a family growing up and I have seen my father left utterly bereft at the loss of his wee pals over the years. They become more than a pet. I completely understand your comments about Ruby being you and your partner's "OUR" dog, there is just some sort of different sentiment and love there altogether and we dread the day we have to do this.
At the loss of our last family dog, someone showed me this and since then I have always found it comforting to myself and others when I passed it on:
https://i.imgur.com/4mNlCCu.jpg - I removed [img] tags as it was rather a large image.
I hope your grief transitions to laughter at the funny memories soon.
At the loss of our last family dog, someone showed me this and since then I have always found it comforting to myself and others when I passed it on:
https://i.imgur.com/4mNlCCu.jpg - I removed [img] tags as it was rather a large image.
I hope your grief transitions to laughter at the funny memories soon.
I was coping quite well today, until I clicked the above link even though I have seen it before.
A dear friend of mine lost two of his dogs within a very short space of time, one of his dogs, like mine and the OP's was quite young when he passed, the other lived a full life and would have been well passed the pension age for dogs. I sent him the link below at the time and he found some comfort in it, in turn a few months later I also found great comfort reading other peoples experiences when their pets passed on.
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-f...
Oddly enough I also found not just comfort but a sense of release when I wrote down a few words on PH, I proceeded to get quite drunk a few nights later and may have let my emotions get the better of me, I remember waking up with the dreaded feeling of, oh no, I better delete that, but a few people had commented and were quite supportive and realised that I just needed to vent. For a bunch of strangers, who can often argue and bicker at the slightest things, y'all can be absolute gentlemen at time.
There is no right way to grieve and there is no time limit on grief, to quote one of my favourite characters, Bubbles from The Wire, ' Ain't no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things too.'
I really did not think that I would actually grieve like this over a pet, I've lost others before. Baxter was a rescue, I'm just not sure who rescued who.
In memory of Cú, Stan, Baxter, Ruby and all the other pets of PH who have passed on.
A dear friend of mine lost two of his dogs within a very short space of time, one of his dogs, like mine and the OP's was quite young when he passed, the other lived a full life and would have been well passed the pension age for dogs. I sent him the link below at the time and he found some comfort in it, in turn a few months later I also found great comfort reading other peoples experiences when their pets passed on.
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-f...
Oddly enough I also found not just comfort but a sense of release when I wrote down a few words on PH, I proceeded to get quite drunk a few nights later and may have let my emotions get the better of me, I remember waking up with the dreaded feeling of, oh no, I better delete that, but a few people had commented and were quite supportive and realised that I just needed to vent. For a bunch of strangers, who can often argue and bicker at the slightest things, y'all can be absolute gentlemen at time.
There is no right way to grieve and there is no time limit on grief, to quote one of my favourite characters, Bubbles from The Wire, ' Ain't no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things too.'
I really did not think that I would actually grieve like this over a pet, I've lost others before. Baxter was a rescue, I'm just not sure who rescued who.
In memory of Cú, Stan, Baxter, Ruby and all the other pets of PH who have passed on.
I just wanted to extend my gratitude to everybody on this thread, it truly has helped reading through your messages and experiences. Even if a few of them (and that imgur cartoon) have made me cry my eyes out.
PH can be a strange place sometimes with a lot of disagreements and bickering, but everyone here has been an absolute legend. Hats off to you all.
Ant
PH can be a strange place sometimes with a lot of disagreements and bickering, but everyone here has been an absolute legend. Hats off to you all.
Ant
Jasandjules said:
Sorry fella. Just know that the soul remains with you forever, even when the body has gone.
Jasandjules- never so in this house. Over the last ten years I've had two rescue Cairns depart and a timid rescue come into our life. Swimbo swears that she's had a dog walk over her in the night, but present one is kept downstairs on the sofa. Then in the morning, Swimbo gives current dog a bowl of milk. Lexi ,our current dog, always drinks this before we go out. And then ,there's the matter of her food. Again, eaten as if Lexi was eating food before another dog took it. Might be part of her history, but we have not got any other dog. Then there's the history that Lexi has a passion for Wheaten Cairns/Westies. Lexi is frightened of most dogs, even those of similar size, but she has no fear of Westie/light coloured Cairn cross. Last lass was an ex puppy farm wheaten Cairn, the exact description that Lexi is attracted to . R.I.P. Ruby run free girl.
I think each time you lose a pet it hurts more. When I lost my old boy Rolo I was devastated but he was 13 and the decision to let him go was unavoidable he was dying in front of us. We have a new dog to tear our hearts to shreds, completely different and just as loved. Monty.
Don't punish yourself with the "only a dog" nonsense. Dogs are the best of us.
I think each time you lose a pet it hurts more. When I lost my old boy Rolo I was devastated but he was 13 and the decision to let him go was unavoidable he was dying in front of us. We have a new dog to tear our hearts to shreds, completely different and just as loved. Monty.
Don't punish yourself with the "only a dog" nonsense. Dogs are the best of us.
Hope you and family are doing ok mate. As quite a few of us do I know how miserable of a time this is for you. Without being overly dramatic for a fair while after having my dog PTS I was really considering what's the bloody point of everything, a very dark time to say the least. If you ever want to have a rant/moan/let your heart out to a random stranger I'm very open to PMs. All the best mate, Ruby was beautiful.
Ant and family, sorry for your loss.
I was lucky enough to have Milo, a black lab, with me for almost 15 years.
We got him as a pup from a local breeder, both the ex and myself picked the same pup on separate visits so that was it. He grew up with the kids, they loved him very much too, as did my mother who would look after him and I'd then struggle to get him back.
When the wife left and took the kids, I carried on working. When I had Milo PTS I needed some time off, make of that what you will. That last day, my mother came along for one last walk, then my daughter came down from school to see him. When we got in, we both sat down on the floor and he looked up, it was like he was saying, ok I've had enough, let's go. The house felt empty for a long time.
Some gorgeous pics there fella, take care.
I was lucky enough to have Milo, a black lab, with me for almost 15 years.
We got him as a pup from a local breeder, both the ex and myself picked the same pup on separate visits so that was it. He grew up with the kids, they loved him very much too, as did my mother who would look after him and I'd then struggle to get him back.
When the wife left and took the kids, I carried on working. When I had Milo PTS I needed some time off, make of that what you will. That last day, my mother came along for one last walk, then my daughter came down from school to see him. When we got in, we both sat down on the floor and he looked up, it was like he was saying, ok I've had enough, let's go. The house felt empty for a long time.
Some gorgeous pics there fella, take care.
I can't believe over a year has passed since I posted this thread. Just reading back through I wanted to just extend a huge thanks to everyone's kind and thoughtful words in what was an absolutely horrible period for me.
I'm sure those of you who've lost pets before will know that time is a healer to a degree but I still have moments where I stop and think about Ruby and maybe have a little tear. I'm sure that will continue for the rest of my life.
On a much happier note, me and my wife have decided to open our home and our hearts to a new four legged friend. This is Winnie, she is 7 months old and a rescue dog from Romania. It was an absolute ordeal to get her here to the UK but its over now and she can begin her life as a much loved family member.
She has been with us just over 2 weeks now and is settling in like an absolute champ.
Thankyou again all
I'm sure those of you who've lost pets before will know that time is a healer to a degree but I still have moments where I stop and think about Ruby and maybe have a little tear. I'm sure that will continue for the rest of my life.
On a much happier note, me and my wife have decided to open our home and our hearts to a new four legged friend. This is Winnie, she is 7 months old and a rescue dog from Romania. It was an absolute ordeal to get her here to the UK but its over now and she can begin her life as a much loved family member.
She has been with us just over 2 weeks now and is settling in like an absolute champ.
Thankyou again all
First of me reading this - grown up with dogs all my life. Currently have a rescue dog myself but he will be my last till I retire - can't put up with the heartache of losing them (no kids).
Just wanted to say that Ruby was absolutely stunning.
Good luck to you and your family with Winnie - she too is gorgeous.
Just wanted to say that Ruby was absolutely stunning.
Good luck to you and your family with Winnie - she too is gorgeous.
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