Longleat Safari - will my car be destroyed?

Longleat Safari - will my car be destroyed?

Author
Discussion

FiF

43,960 posts

250 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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Thought it was generally accepted that standard monkey procedure was, a) rip out washer jets and pipework, b) strip wiper rubbers and finally c) st on the windscreen.

Who taught them that sequence?

Eddie Strohacker

3,879 posts

85 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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FiF said:
Thought it was generally accepted that standard monkey procedure was, a) rip out washer jets and pipework, b) strip wiper rubbers and finally c) st on the windscreen.

Who taught them that sequence?
Longleat Body repairs Ltd. Prop. K Kong.

marcosgt

11,011 posts

175 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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Many years ago, my wife went there with her sister and BIL.

BIL had a SAAB at the time, with the big rubbery spoiler on the back - The monkeys took big chunks out of that! biggrin

M

PS Check your roof after you leave too biggrin

DonkeyApple

54,921 posts

168 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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andy118run said:
been to Woburn a couple of times.
Presume it's similar as they also have a monkey drive through.
Went through it both times with no issues. The first time the monkeys jumped on the bonnet, the second they were occupied by other cars.
As mentioned above, it's part of the fun, the kids will love it.
Go for it, you only live once!
Strangely, the monkeys at Woburn are perfectly civilised. They may go and sit on a car but I've never actually seen them do any damage.

Conversely, the monkeys at Longleat are like a bunch of horse traders sweeping through a town. They'll take anything that's not bolted down.

If you do end up in the enclosure just make sure you leave a very big gap between you and the cars infront so they can never hold you back and you can keep moving. It seems to be when a car stops or gets stopped that they move in and strip it.

768

13,601 posts

95 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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I wouldn't miss the monkey enclosure if at all possible, it's hilarious watching how efficiently and with such determination the little buggers break cars. And marriages.

GCH

3,984 posts

201 months

QuickQuack

2,144 posts

100 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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Yeah, did the monkeys once. Came out with no parking sensors which explained why the bds in the car behind were pointing at us and laughing irked

njw1

2,053 posts

110 months

Friday 28th April 2017
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This thread has brought back some very old memories of my uncle's nearly new Cav SRi getting it's washer jets removed. And on a school trip many years ago to West Midlands safari park the bus broke down slap bang in the middle of the lion enclosure, the ranger guy who turned with (what I think was?) a tranquilizer gun in his Land Rover looked like David Seaman and my mate had a bking for shouting DAVE out of the window of the bus at him continuously.

Old Merc

3,486 posts

166 months

Saturday 29th April 2017
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iceyfuel

Original Poster:

65 posts

83 months

Sunday 30th April 2017
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Well a huge thanks for the replies guys. Some of them really had me laughing!! Luckily I'm not married and I don't kids so I may well avoid the monkeys.

It is quite amazing how much the little scrotes manage to destroy things!

Saleen836

11,061 posts

208 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
They currently have a animatronic predators display (included with entrance ticket)
https://www.longleat.co.uk/whats-on/predators
Feeding the Giraffes is always a good shout and the bird of prey display

SHutchinson

2,040 posts

183 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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Byker28i said:
we went 3 years ago, they stripped the vinyl roof off the car in front
Did you miss a zero from that figure? I've not seen a vinyl roof in many a year!

DonkeyApple

54,921 posts

168 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
Enterprise. Just get the full insurance package and have the remnants low loaded back to them?

SwissJonese

1,393 posts

174 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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We went over Christmas and took the bus. So much damage to cars, I am not sure why people do it? The worst was monkeys doing a dump on a couple of cars bonnets- yuck.

FiF

43,960 posts

250 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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You could do the tour in your car, avoid the monkey enclosure. Then take a bus tour so you get the full monkeying about experience.

Oh get ready to experience the "lions constantly shagging section", if it's anything like our visit.


P1ato

339 posts

127 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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When we went the monkeys did no damage: they were too busy shagging on the roof of the car in front...then they swapped roles, the dirty buggers.


SydneyBridge

8,500 posts

157 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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bus every time.. however much it costs, its worth it!

my son has always liked the boat around the gorilla island and there is an excellent adventure playground type thing

Saleen836

11,061 posts

208 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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SydneyBridge said:
bus every time.. however much it costs, its worth it!

my son has always liked the boat around the gorilla island and there is an excellent adventure playground type thing
Sadly no Gorilla anymore since he passed away back in January frown

R8Steve

4,150 posts

174 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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akirk

5,376 posts

113 months

Friday 20th April 2018
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R8Steve said:
That is the training video - shown to all new monkeys on arrival at Longleat biggrin
It is a Longleat car (hence Safari numberplate), not a customer car...

we went through behind a VW camper with 3 surfboards and a box on the roof - not much left by the time they came out!
So pick a more interesting car to follow