Match.com (Volume 4)

[freecar]

big dub said:

freecar said:

If you're that shallow, what happens if your wife puts on weight? Decree nisi?

Go for the other one, you'll have better luck "moulding" her into what you want.

I wouldn't call it shallow, I just don't like bigger women. I like a woman with curves in the right places, just not too much.

I'm sure you have criteria for how you'd like your partner to be?

I do and none of them include a BMI or any such nonsense, I've dated girls who are 6 stone and 16 stone.

You didn't answer my question.

You're in love, you get married, for some reason your wife puts on weight, what do you do?

I'm not trying to make you look foolish or anything just trying to provoke some thought in your head.

[big dub]

freecar said:

big dub said:

freecar said:

If you're that shallow, what happens if your wife puts on weight? Decree nisi?

Go for the other one, you'll have better luck "moulding" her into what you want.

I wouldn't call it shallow, I just don't like bigger women. I like a woman with curves in the right places, just not too much.

I'm sure you have criteria for how you'd like your partner to be?

I do and none of them include a BMI or any such nonsense, I've dated girls who are 6 stone and 16 stone.

You didn't answer my question.

You're in love, you get married, for some reason your wife puts on weight, what do you do?

I'm not trying to make you look foolish or anything just trying to provoke some thought in your head.

My ex wife did go big after having our 3 kids, but she slowly lost it to get down to a size 12 (she's 5'11), her weight had nothing to do with us splitting up.

I'm not intending to get married again, but if a future partner did start to put on the lbs, then I'd do something about it, like get us doing more exercise together. But on the other hand I don't want someone who's too thin.

[Council Baby]

freecar said:

You're in love, you get married, for some reason your wife puts on weight, what do you do?

Start cutting down her portion sizes and stop her eating so much. Stop having sex with her because she's a bloated whale and unattractive, if none of this works mentally torture her about her weight until she takes up exercise. Batter her self esteem until she is either driven to Ben & Jerry's or starvation. If all else fails then empty the accounts and leg it for a few months - she won't be able to afford to eat and when you get back, if you come back, she'll be really pleased that you forced her into a healthier way of life.


On a sensible note... There's falling in love with someone who then gets fat and there's falling in love with someone who is fat. This is about what you find attractive in the first place so your question is irrelevant.

[Jabbah]

freecar said:

You're in love, you get married, for some reason your wife puts on weight, what do you do?

I'm not trying to make you look foolish or anything just trying to provoke some thought in your head.

That's not really whats being talked about though. The discussion is more about what you initially find attractive in a girl. Love will come later and that's what keeps you together. Weight isn't the only thing. You get old and wrinkly too, just because I don't have a fetish for grannies doesn't mean that if I settle down with someone I will want to get divorced when they look like one.

[freecar]

Wow, lots of replies, I guess I touched a nerve.

What I was trying to get at was that you found her attractive before but then decided you didn't.

I thought that it was a bit of a shallow thing to change your mind so arbitrarily, it's not like you only met her face is it?

Whatever, I'll continue to take the barbs about me being desperate and such and leave the rest of you to it.

[900T-R]

If you're not attracted to 'bigger' ladies - or on this case from average-sized upwards - fair enough, no one can decide for you what you find attractive or not (although some might have 'requirements' that border on the unhealthy; Mother Nature generally doesn't provide size 6 ladies with huge breasts, or blokes with 'Daniel Craig-like' torsos). Thing is, you said the lady in question was 'very attractive' - do you mean 'I'm attracted to her but I really shouldn't because I have that thing in my mind that my OH/squeeze/shag should be a size 10' or 'I can see why other blokes would find her attractive, but I'm not really because of her size'?

[big dub]

freecar said:

Wow, lots of replies, I guess I touched a nerve.

What I was trying to get at was that you found her attractive before but then decided you didn't.

I thought that it was a bit of a shallow thing to change your mind so arbitrarily, it's not like you only met her face is it?

Whatever, I'll continue to take the barbs about me being desperate and such and leave the rest of you to it.

I thought I could get over her bigger size (and her being a blonde) as she was attractive, but I couldn't. So fine call me shallow.

I've been single for over 2yrs, partly because I am very picky, but I don't mind being single and I'm not desperate to get into a relationship with just anyone, so they'll have to be pretty special to change that.

[Mobile Chicane]

big dub said:

I've been single for over 2yrs, partly because I am very picky, but I don't mind being single and I'm not desperate to get into a relationship with just anyone, so they'll have to be pretty special to change that.

If you want to get out of the desert, you'll need to ride a few camels.

[big dub]

Mobile Chicane said:

If you want to get out of the desert, you'll need to ride a few camels.

The desert is a pretty tough place to be at times, but there are some pretty ropey camels around, so I may be here for quite a while.

[Mr Happy]

NobleGuy said:

Jabbah said:

Mr Happy said:

So, we had "Great night, really enjoyed the company..."

followed with "But there was no spark so see ya..."

Not best impressed, I liked this one lots...

I had almost exactly the same response. One of the first dates I went on off match. Just after I texted how much I enjoyed the night and would really like to see her again. Oh and she tacked on "You're a really nice guy and someone will be really lucky to have you..." or some such crap. Where do they come up with this bks sometimes?

As for the spark thing specifically, I think some girls on match set their sights a little too high. They have this long shopping list of features and personality traits and there has to be this increadible inital spark too! Men I think are much more simple, if they look like their pics and you can have a good time together then great

Try not to fall in the trap of liking someone lots before a date or two! And as Carthage (edit: well, her gran...)said, plenty more fish in the sea, and after my initial dissapointment, guess what - there were

That sounds a little bit like you'll settle for anything.
For me, as a simple man, if there's no spark then what's the point in wasting anyone's time...?
I'm guessing, but from a girl's point of view I'm assuming "no spark" can be translated into "I don't fancy you" or "I won't have a good time with you". I don't think women are that much more complicated or demanding TBH...

I also don't really understand how anyone can "like this one lots" in advance (or just after) a first date.

Whoa, whoa whoa!!

I said I liked this one lots - ie she was ferociously hot, but in reality I was punching way above my weight so I half expected it. Still wasn't impressed but what can you do.

What is there to understand? You either like someone or you don't - I liked her, she didn't like me...

Like Jay-Z said - on to the next one

[Mr Happy]

Mobile Chicane said:

NobleGuy said:

I also don't really understand how anyone can "like this one lots" in advance (or just after) a first date.

He'll settle for anything, but this one stood out.

Just noticed this too... tisk!!

Maybe a couple years ago I'd have settled for anything, but now I'm a bit pickier - I do rate intellect above looks though (and that's not because I've only been out with munters - far from it, but it's useless having a stunner who struggles with the most basic concepts of anything other than what makeup to wear!)

This one was stunning and had the intellect too, but hey ho - on to the next one!

[V8mate]

Mr Happy said:

, but it's useless having a stunner who struggles with the most basic concepts of anything other than what makeup to wear!)

Oh, I dunno. LadyV8 (very intelligent!) is well aware that she could at any time be replaced by the supremely and vacuously dim Alex Jones

[ChunkyloverSV]

Mr Happy said:

Just noticed this too... tisk!!

Maybe a couple years ago I'd have settled for anything, but now I'm a bit pickier - I do rate intellect above looks though (and that's not because I've only been out with munters - far from it, but it's useless having a stunner who struggles with the most basic concepts of anything other than what makeup to wear!)

This one was stunning and had the intellect too, but hey ho - on to the next one!

I know what you mean Mr Happy. How do you play it? Arrange a date few texts maybe a call thats it. Or quite a few calls, texts getting to know them before the date.

Personally atm i go out have some fun and thats it, can't be arsed with dating or the getting a girls number for her to mess around. At my age they either seem too young and immature or they have loads of baggage by being messed around by guys. Lately i have been chatting up older women who seem to know what they want and its quite refreshing.

[WorAl]

shakotan said:

I understand this. For me it's always about proportion, not size.

Definitely the most important part.

[Mr Happy]

ChunkyloverSV said:

How do you play it? Arrange a date few texts maybe a call thats it. Or quite a few calls, texts getting to know them before the date.

We texted each other for a week or so because we both ended up being stuck with work commitments. I make an effort to try and get to know who I'm going on a date with, I know some people do the whole "lets meet up now" thing, but I've never felt comfortable with that.

[Zwolf]

Council Baby said:

South African ... scarily nuts and overly emotional.

They all do that sir.

[TVR1]

Zwolf said:

Council Baby said:

South African ... scarily nuts and overly emotional.

They all do that sir.

I concur.

The last Saffa I had the pleausure of spending an evening with...

'ah went yuu to feck me laiyk the blecks hev thayken over yoor faarm'

Interesting one that.

Edited by TVR1 on Monday 30th April 20:56

[Mobile Chicane]

Zwolf said:

Council Baby said:

South African ... scarily nuts and overly emotional.

They all do that sir.

A story worth retelling is that of a friend of mine who arranged a first date with a Saffer bird at a wine bar in Kingston.

He was 15 minutes or so late, and was surprised to find she'd already necked a bottle of wine. In the next 20 minutes, she proceeded to neck another, and tell him all about her childhood incest issues.

By this point he couldn't wait to get away, but she insisted on getting him back to her flat for 'a quick one'. Her boyfriend would be there, but it wouldn't be a problem or anything...

[Zwolf]

Mobile Chicane said:

Zwolf said:

Council Baby said:

South African ... scarily nuts and overly emotional.

They all do that sir.

A story worth retelling is that of a friend of mine who arranged a first date with a Saffer bird at a wine bar in Kingston.

He was 15 minutes or so late, and was surprised to find she'd already necked a bottle of wine. In the next 20 minutes, she proceeded to neck another, and tell him all about her childhood incest issues.

By this point he couldn't wait to get away, but she insisted on getting him back to her flat for 'a quick one'. Her boyfriend would be there, but it wouldn't be a problem or anything...

[TVR1]

Mobile Chicane said:

A story worth retelling is that of a friend of mine who arranged a first date with a Saffer bird at a wine bar in Kingston.

He was 15 minutes or so late, and was surprised to find she'd already necked a bottle of wine. In the next 20 minutes, she proceeded to neck another, and tell him all about her childhood incest issues.

By this point he couldn't wait to get away, but she insisted on getting him back to her flat for 'a quick one'. Her boyfriend would be there, but it wouldn't be a problem or anything...

He must have met the same one as me.